Mediocre Moose Maulings!!
Yes, but where does one start looking for a can opener? You looked through the drawer that held the forks, and the shelf that hold plates, no good.
You succumb to despair. Maybe Jane knows.
So you rush back upstairs, passing the foyer filled with can openers across the ages, and the hall of swiss army knives, the kind that come with can openers, and finally reach Janes pad.
You barge through the doors, screaming into a megaphone while launching off bottle rockets.
"JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE!"
Jane then stirs a little, opens one eye, and mumbles,
"mmr...did somun say sumthn..."
"Get up, you cold, unfeeling, clinking, clanking, collection of colligenous junk! I can't find the can opener and we need to go find one!"
"..Zelda, Orpheus has, like, a gabillion thingies of those in his room...what happend to the one that's behind the coffee maker at all times in the kitchen?"
"Shut up! I looked EVERYWHERE in the kitchen, it's not there. And I'm not going into Orpheus' room, because I totally don't like him in a romantic way!"
"Um, yeah, you're actually really mean to hi-"
"SILENCE YOU GREAT USELESS PILE OF TIN! This is serious business, now where can I find an opener of metallic cylinders?"
"Zelda, please can we do this when it's not so early in the morni-"
"Do I need to tell the FDA about extenuating circumstances?"
Jane immediately sits up.
"Alright lower your voice. Now if your so insistant on getting a new can opener, they sell them for like, five dollars at in Mordor, three blocks from here, you could easily walk there."
"One does not simply walk into Mordor!"
"What did I just- forget it. I'll go get it myself. You go watch the news or whatever it is you do."
Greetings and salutations! You are Jane, you are a heartless unfeeling piece of machinery that has no soul and can only kill.
To make your friend happy, you're going to go to Mordor and buy her a can opener.
No what do you do first?
You succumb to despair. Maybe Jane knows.
So you rush back upstairs, passing the foyer filled with can openers across the ages, and the hall of swiss army knives, the kind that come with can openers, and finally reach Janes pad.
You barge through the doors, screaming into a megaphone while launching off bottle rockets.
"JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE JANE!"
Jane then stirs a little, opens one eye, and mumbles,
"mmr...did somun say sumthn..."
"Get up, you cold, unfeeling, clinking, clanking, collection of colligenous junk! I can't find the can opener and we need to go find one!"
"..Zelda, Orpheus has, like, a gabillion thingies of those in his room...what happend to the one that's behind the coffee maker at all times in the kitchen?"
"Shut up! I looked EVERYWHERE in the kitchen, it's not there. And I'm not going into Orpheus' room, because I totally don't like him in a romantic way!"
"Um, yeah, you're actually really mean to hi-"
"SILENCE YOU GREAT USELESS PILE OF TIN! This is serious business, now where can I find an opener of metallic cylinders?"
"Zelda, please can we do this when it's not so early in the morni-"
"Do I need to tell the FDA about extenuating circumstances?"
Jane immediately sits up.
"Alright lower your voice. Now if your so insistant on getting a new can opener, they sell them for like, five dollars at in Mordor, three blocks from here, you could easily walk there."
"One does not simply walk into Mordor!"
"What did I just- forget it. I'll go get it myself. You go watch the news or whatever it is you do."
Greetings and salutations! You are Jane, you are a heartless unfeeling piece of machinery that has no soul and can only kill.
To make your friend happy, you're going to go to Mordor and buy her a can opener.
No what do you do first?