Escape The Fast Approaching Wave Of McDonald's Tartar Sauce

After a long day's work, you get home and decide that it's Miller Time. While channel surfing, you hear something on Channel 6 News about a flood of tartar sauce, along with reference to a "very bizzare doppler forecast" for the next couple of days.

Bewildered, you can only think of two things to do at this point, aside from breaking some wind.