Comments & Ratings
||Jul 7, 2019||ist shit dont read|
||Jun 7, 2009||
Hmmmm. Wasn't bad, wasn't great.|
As much as I am a fan of random stories, this one just didn't do it for me.
Sorry. I'm sixin' ya, dude. You got sixed. Cause I'm a six, six bastard.
Oh, and I HATE McDonald's tartar sauce! That's not why I gave you a six though. I gave you a six because I could.
Got it? Ya, see? That's right. I do what I want, cause I got moxy, see?
That was supposed to be my impression of a 1930s gangster.
I messed up.
Blew it again!
||Mar 12, 2009|
||Oct 29, 2007||
This story, to me, is a bunch of random humor that at times add nothing to the already random story and I really enjoyed what I read. |
Like DEP said it could have had a serious aspect to it. I would have liked to see that. Still, without that, great story. 8/10
||Oct 6, 2007||
Wow. Normally I'm not a fan of randomness, but this story was genuinely amusing. The very premis, that tartar sauce is flooding the streets, was hilarious. Great work. |
The only way this could have been better is if there was an element of seriousness to it. For instance, a protagonist who is not encountering a bunch of random crazy things, who is just trying to survive the tartar sauce flood, would make this even better. Why? Because slapstick rarely works, especially in writing. There needs to be a "straight man", like an Abbot to Costello. Personally, an "adventure" on this humorous storyline would make it much funnier (partly BECAUSE it is serious when something so foolish is happening) and much more engaging.
But either way, great contribution to the site, glad you took it off of Mature (otherwise I never would have read it).
||Aug 26, 2007||Argggh! The sauce, the sauce! Great work bro!|
||Jun 5, 2007||First off, change the rating of this story from MA to PG or R because that way it will get seen my more people. Also, it does not have any "mature" content. Secondly, I found the idea of a fast approaching wave of tartar sauce very amusing though I wish you had done more with it. Please continue adding to the story and developing it more. What you do have is funny, creative and has proper grammar. Normally I'd give it a 7 but I'm giving it an 8 because of its potential.|