The Teatime Of Infinity
Alright. He's already got 27. Now it's time to set the world record! Which happens to be 393. How do you know? You're an omniscent narrator, of course!
The first thing Will does is obvious. He goes to his local Wal-Mart (there's one on each side of his house so he achieves this rather quickly) and buys some Cuban cigars. He then eats them.
Next Will buys some antifreeze and house cleaning equipment and gulps them down. He glances at his watch: 78. Must be that if he eats the same carcinogen numerous times it only counts once. This won't be easy.
Next Will goes to the radiology center. He says that he can't feel his spleen and they hook him right up to the x-ray machines. "Now, sir," the nurse says bleakly. "The spleen is a very tender organ. You need it for your reticuloendothelial system."
"Not the reticuloendothelial system!" Will shouts, eyes wide open."
"The very same," the nurse nods. "For that reason we'll require you to have your lead plate over your spleen instead of your testicles. Your spleen is more important than your children."
"Right, but if I have the plate over my spleen won't you not be able to X-ray it?"
"Exactly. The picture will come out as nothing and we'll have to take more tests, thus making more money. I'll go get your plate. Now stay here."
The nurse walks out of the room and Will...
The first thing Will does is obvious. He goes to his local Wal-Mart (there's one on each side of his house so he achieves this rather quickly) and buys some Cuban cigars. He then eats them.
Next Will buys some antifreeze and house cleaning equipment and gulps them down. He glances at his watch: 78. Must be that if he eats the same carcinogen numerous times it only counts once. This won't be easy.
Next Will goes to the radiology center. He says that he can't feel his spleen and they hook him right up to the x-ray machines. "Now, sir," the nurse says bleakly. "The spleen is a very tender organ. You need it for your reticuloendothelial system."
"Not the reticuloendothelial system!" Will shouts, eyes wide open."
"The very same," the nurse nods. "For that reason we'll require you to have your lead plate over your spleen instead of your testicles. Your spleen is more important than your children."
"Right, but if I have the plate over my spleen won't you not be able to X-ray it?"
"Exactly. The picture will come out as nothing and we'll have to take more tests, thus making more money. I'll go get your plate. Now stay here."
The nurse walks out of the room and Will...