The Teatime Of Infinity

'Tis true. Will can now eat almost anything. To test out his newfound abilities, Will begins eating his nearby desk. It goes right down. Little has Will known that desks taste remarkably like a mixture of bark, poyurethane, Mexican skin cells, dust, and miscellaneous tastes. An added bonus of his new powers is that his watch not only reads the time, it shows how many carcinogens he just ingested. 27.

Well. Will has to do something with his new powers of edibility! How will he help the world today?