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The Ninja Epidemic

You walk abruptly away from the fucker of your mother. Damn it, that pisses you off. He's supposed to be your friend and he's sleeping with your mom. What an asshole. It sucks that your mom is such a slut. It's kind of cool that she doesn't do the lesbian three-way thing anymore, and you're glad she stopped the Saturday Orgies. But you really wish she wouldn't do it with your friends. Or the mailman. That kind of pisses you off to.

Anyway, as you walk home trying to push thoughts of your mom sleeping around from your head, you try to come up with some sort of ninja defense plan. How the hell are you going to stop a clan of ninjas?

What kills ninjas? Samurai. But where are you going to find samurai warriors in this part of the world at this point in history? It's all so hopeless. Damn it all! What are you going to do? How do you kill a ninja?

An idea occurs to you as you reach the door to your house. A bullet will kill a ninja. You need to get ahold of some ammunition. The police can help you, right? They're all about protecting innocent civilians. Maybe you should call them. Then again, they are the Mayberry type. Maybe you should look elsewhere. You have a cousin whose a bit of a redneck. He has enough ammunition to supply a small army. Maybe you should get a hold of him. But then again, he's a little crazy.

You gotta get someone to help. Someone with guns. So it's either the fuzz or your hillbilly inbred cousin.