The Ninja Epidemic
You run.
Coward. But a coward who lives to see another day. At least that's what you keep telling yourself as your sprint turns to a trot and that, in turn, soon degenerates into a slow but steady power-walk. You finally stop and take a moment to gaze around the neighborhood for any sign of the black-clad men. You breath a deep sigh of relief when you realize you've lost them...for now.
You make it home without any further ado, and nearly collapse onto the livingroom floor the very moment you make it through the door. It's a damn good thing your parents work long hours. If they saw how you looked right now they'd think you were on PCP. Why is it so God damn hard for people to believe there's ninjas after you!? Just then you hear the familiar pop of your cousin's truck backfiring as it rambles down your street. You glance at your watch. Damn! That was quick! He got here in just twenty minutes! You sure do hope he's brought lots of guns!! Boy, howdy!
You feel a refreshing rush of adrenaline coursing through your body as you bolt out the door to greet him in the driveway. Billy Bo Bob Bubba (or just 'Bo', for short) - your cousin - has been considered by many esteemed scientific minds to be the ever-elusive 'missing link' between modern man and his ancient predecessors. But that's beside the point. Bo jumps out of the old, rusty pick-up and eyes you warily. "That shit still messin' with yer mind?" he prompts you.
"Dammit, Bo!" you rage. "I fucking told you I'm not on anything! There's ninjas after me!! Do you want me to take you to my friend James' house!? HE'S FUCKING DEAD, BO! THE COCKSUCKING NINJAS DID IT!" Bo's eyes widen in shock. "Now calm down there, youngin'," he advises you.
You nearly choke on your own saliva "Youngin'!?" you gasp. "Bo, I'm three months and four days older than you, you stupid inbred honky! Look..." You take a deep breath to relax yourself. "Did you bring the guns? 'Cause that's all that really matters. As long as you brought the guns we'll be alright." Bo smiles that toothless smile of his and gives a quick nod. "And I brought you something to help you cool off that meth, too." He opens his right palm and displays three little blue pills. They seem to be calling your name with little blue voices of silky blue delight.
But you're still suspicious. "What are those?" you ask him. Bo shrugs. "I'dunno wha'tha'fuck they're," he slurs. "But they shore do make me all happy-like."
Tough choice. Well, what will it be, bub?
Coward. But a coward who lives to see another day. At least that's what you keep telling yourself as your sprint turns to a trot and that, in turn, soon degenerates into a slow but steady power-walk. You finally stop and take a moment to gaze around the neighborhood for any sign of the black-clad men. You breath a deep sigh of relief when you realize you've lost them...for now.
You make it home without any further ado, and nearly collapse onto the livingroom floor the very moment you make it through the door. It's a damn good thing your parents work long hours. If they saw how you looked right now they'd think you were on PCP. Why is it so God damn hard for people to believe there's ninjas after you!? Just then you hear the familiar pop of your cousin's truck backfiring as it rambles down your street. You glance at your watch. Damn! That was quick! He got here in just twenty minutes! You sure do hope he's brought lots of guns!! Boy, howdy!
You feel a refreshing rush of adrenaline coursing through your body as you bolt out the door to greet him in the driveway. Billy Bo Bob Bubba (or just 'Bo', for short) - your cousin - has been considered by many esteemed scientific minds to be the ever-elusive 'missing link' between modern man and his ancient predecessors. But that's beside the point. Bo jumps out of the old, rusty pick-up and eyes you warily. "That shit still messin' with yer mind?" he prompts you.
"Dammit, Bo!" you rage. "I fucking told you I'm not on anything! There's ninjas after me!! Do you want me to take you to my friend James' house!? HE'S FUCKING DEAD, BO! THE COCKSUCKING NINJAS DID IT!" Bo's eyes widen in shock. "Now calm down there, youngin'," he advises you.
You nearly choke on your own saliva "Youngin'!?" you gasp. "Bo, I'm three months and four days older than you, you stupid inbred honky! Look..." You take a deep breath to relax yourself. "Did you bring the guns? 'Cause that's all that really matters. As long as you brought the guns we'll be alright." Bo smiles that toothless smile of his and gives a quick nod. "And I brought you something to help you cool off that meth, too." He opens his right palm and displays three little blue pills. They seem to be calling your name with little blue voices of silky blue delight.
But you're still suspicious. "What are those?" you ask him. Bo shrugs. "I'dunno wha'tha'fuck they're," he slurs. "But they shore do make me all happy-like."
Tough choice. Well, what will it be, bub?