College: The Birthday!

With a sigh and a few choice words, you start to try to detach your poor bike from the mass of alternative transportation. As you're giving one of the bikes a good tug, a burly frat boy saunters up. "Hey, you… stop trying to steal my $2,000 bike. Yes, I think it's perfectly necessary to spend that much on something I'll only ride around campus and then leave that something that costs as much as a computer outside unattended. Anyway, I'm totally going to get you!"

As he starts lumber forwards, you make the quick decision to