Coitus Machina

Your eyes open and your system powers back up. During your downtime, a self-diagnostic test revealed an anomaly in your central motherboard. You were unable to resolve the error.

With the noodles boiling in one pot, you cook the chicken in a pan. Once the chicken is 75% cooked you roll it in the breading and add lemons, garlic, butter, and white wine. A creamy sour and salty sauce forms in the bottom of the pan and you cook it on low to keep it warm while you arrange fifty candles about the room so that they give a nice comforting glow. You turn the overhead light off rather than dim them as you were instructed. You wonder if your master will even notice.

It is 8:07pm when the door opens and you plate the meal, leaving enough in the pan for seconds if either of the ladies should so desire.

“How lovely,” Jeanette says, walking in behind her friend.

“I hope the candles aren’t too much,” Alice says to her.

“Not at all,” the guest says. “It’s positively romantic.”

“I'm glad you like it,” Alice said, the heat levels in her face rising enough to give her cheeks a light reddening.

"And the smell!" Jeanette exclaims; "I can't wait to eat."

Alice is bit slender at the waist and curved at the hips with small breasts and long legs. She wears her hair up in a frazzled bun, a few loose strands of dark hair are in disarray. Her face is long and slender her green eyes shine with excitement and the corners of her thin dark lips curl into a smile. Her guest, Jeanette is shorter and squatter, large of breast and wide of butt with the small sort of belly that women call tummies. Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail and she has a mischievous look about her.

As the ladies sit down you place their wine before them, filling each glass half way with a chilled 3 year old white wine. They hold their glasses before them.

“To accomplishment,” Jeanette toasts.

"And excitement," Alice returns.

They gently touch their glasses together at the conclusion of the toast and drink them down. You pour two fresh glasses and the women begin eating. They talk while they eat, discussing work, television, and flirting casually with one another. When they are finished you offer seconds, but they decline.

They move to the living room to sit on the couch beside one another. “Music,” Alice says to the stereo, “jazz and lounge.” A piano starts up and a woman sings; a saxophone plays lightly in the back. When they begin to kiss you turn your back to them. Unless invited, you are programmed to exit the room during these situations.

You focus instead on cleaning up. You take care of dinner; cleaning up the table, taking care of the dishes, and packaging the leftovers for the foodbank.

By the time you’re finished Alice is atop her guest with her blouse removed, they are kissing and grinding against one another. Your master calls for you. “Andrew,” she says, “Come join us.”

As you walk towards them Jeanette takes a hard look at you, upside down from the headrest of the couch. “That’s an Andrew model?” she asks.

“Yes.”

“I heard there was a recall on one of the Andrew models.”

“Are you certain?” Your master asks, shaken. Few recalls have ever occurred in the fifty years since Companion Bots were introduced, but in every instance the companion bots became violent. Those were older models though, back when they were still converting old Military Bots into companions. Converting Military Bots has become a long abandoned practice and there have been no incidents since then.

Well, until you at least.

“Andrew,” Alice says sitting up. “Run a self-diagnosis, check for any abnormalities in your system."

Even though you did so earlier, you run another series of tests as commanded. Predictably, you detect abnormalities in your motherboard. The error presents itself again when you try to correct it.

“Diagnosis complete,” you tell her.

“What did you find?” Alice asks.

For the first time since you were created you are considering your response.

You have 2 choices:

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