CRACK ATTACK!
It's what? You forget. Okay, time to smoke some crack! You scrounge around the kitchen and find your baggy of crack and your pipe - but no lighter. Hmmmm...
AHA! YOU'VE GOT IT!!!! You can use the stove instead of your lighter!! YES!!! You are a GENIUS! Albert Einstein, eat your heart out! E= You're gonna smoke some crack! What a great day this is turning out to be. Maybe there really is a God in Heaven who loves you. Just maybe.
You cheerfully re-load your pipe, and to your great delight you realize the front burner is already on! That just saves you one more step. You lean over the stove and watch in orgasmic mesmerization as the rock begins to melt. You are so enraptured with this process, however, that you fail to notice the flames from the stove licking your hair and eventually igniting your entire head. You've just taken your first inhalation off your pipe when a funny smell meets your nostrils. And then you feel the heat.
You panic and run around in concentric circles for several moments, waving your hands in the air like an idiot and screaming, "FIRE! FIRE!" What puts out fire? Gas? Water? Milk? Bologna? Beer? Porno mags? You forget. Hmmm. Dammit. Eventually you decide upon...
AHA! YOU'VE GOT IT!!!! You can use the stove instead of your lighter!! YES!!! You are a GENIUS! Albert Einstein, eat your heart out! E= You're gonna smoke some crack! What a great day this is turning out to be. Maybe there really is a God in Heaven who loves you. Just maybe.
You cheerfully re-load your pipe, and to your great delight you realize the front burner is already on! That just saves you one more step. You lean over the stove and watch in orgasmic mesmerization as the rock begins to melt. You are so enraptured with this process, however, that you fail to notice the flames from the stove licking your hair and eventually igniting your entire head. You've just taken your first inhalation off your pipe when a funny smell meets your nostrils. And then you feel the heat.
You panic and run around in concentric circles for several moments, waving your hands in the air like an idiot and screaming, "FIRE! FIRE!" What puts out fire? Gas? Water? Milk? Bologna? Beer? Porno mags? You forget. Hmmm. Dammit. Eventually you decide upon...