CRACK ATTACK!

It works! But as you take your first puff off your pipe it suddenly occurs to you that what you're smoking is in all actuality plastic...not crack. Dammit! Dammit, dammit, dammit.

Dammit. It's not fair. Or...wait. What's not fair? You forget. Damn, you could sure use some crack. But wait! You HAVE some crack! Now all you need is your pipe and your lighter. You check your other hand and realize you are currently holding the pipe! YES!! Now all you need is your lighter!!

But it's nowhere to be found. Right about then, your stove catches your eye. That's it!!! You can use your stove to heat up your pipe! You're fucking brilliant!!! Whoever said that 'crack kills' must have never smoked it. You saunter your way over to the stove and find that one of the burners is already on. Awesome! You gingerly stick your pipe over the flame and watch with satisfaction as the glorious rock begins to melt. You press your lips to the pipe and inhale.

Dammit!!! This shit aint crack - it's plastic!!!!! Fucking plastic! You need crack! You pass out again from lack of oxygen to what's left of the small glob of neurons masquerading as your brain. [hr]

You awaken several hours later. The first thing that enters your mind is that you need some crack. You look around and see your pipe and your baggy of crack lying next to you on the sticky linoleum floor. Then you remember...it's not crack, it's plastic. Dammit. Damn what? You forget. Damn, you need some crack. WAIT A MINUTE! You've got crack! And your pipe! Now all you need is your lighter!

But it's nowhere to be found. Right about then you notice the stove. THAT'S IT!!! You can use the stove to light this shit! You're brilliant!!!!