Faridell

You violently smack the green dressed man across the face.
"Ok wait slow down," you say slowly yourself trying to emphasize the point more so.
"Ohfeckyou'youbigfoolateyoulotsssallgoinnaboot'andallthatcattchin'poarr'litttle'leprichaunslikemesel..." "Leprechauns?" you asking interrupting him.
"Aye, I'ama leprichauntis'Iamyes'thatswhatIis...
"Great don't I get a pot of gold?"
"Do yougetta potofgold'ey.... well actuallyIaian'tgotenygoldyoungladd."
"Oh well what can I have then?"
"Wellyou'canhaveafewwishesofthembigfarygodstheygivvaemtoyou."
"What? Look I can't understand a word your saying!" The leprechaun sighs and presents an old tatty scroll from his beard.
"Wellfeckin'readthisthenyougoddamidjiot." the leprechaun hops out of your hands and scampers off.