Broken
You look outside trough your stained, slightly cracked windshield. The day is gray, the sky shaded by a never ending sea of clouds. Not much traffic on. A few old junks gliding around the pavement, carrying their faceless passengers to whatever destinations they might have. There are so many people you pass by during your life without even noticing them. It's scary in a way. Each one of them has a different life, a different consciousness, complete with different experiences, loves, hates, perversions, memories. And yet still, you pass them by like a road sign or a highway cactus and never, ever hear of them again. And even if you did, you wouldn't know. If people were grains of sand, they would still think that they are unique. That's why humankind is so fucked up. There's no way to deal with the horror. The horror of being lost in nothing. Man's natural fear. The unexplained emptiness.
The smoke from the cigarette clenched between your teeth spreads calmly inside the car. So peaceful, so soft. It's silky form slowly hugging the seats, the dashboard, the steering wheel, your arms, your lap. No need to open the windows. You like the smoke inside, here, with you. You want to watch it. There's so much frustration, so many imbalances, that you want to contemplate this tranquillity, if only just for a while. To you, this is a moment of happiness. Peace without conditions.
You quickly get a strong reminder of the realities of life, as you startle to several, very loud, car horns. You hit the brake and realize you almost crashed into multiple cars while crossing a four-way intersection during a red light. Great. All this soundscape isn't helping your sore head. A man who looks like a business man, complete with stylized hair and a suit, driving a silver Volkswagen gives you the finger. You return the courtesy and sign the cars to move past you, which isn't easy, as you're pretty much smack middle the crossing. Something is burning your thigh. The cigarette you were smoking seems to have fallen out of your mouth. "Shit!", you exclaim, roll your window down and throw the almost burned out stub into the street. There is a burnt mark in your pant leg now. You sigh.
You patiently wait as a few cars, some of them angrily beeping at you, pass around you, then drive off at the green light. Damn. You're losing your grip. Keeping your mind on things shouldn't be this difficult. There's no room for mistakes for you. Hopefully, your next job will be different. Thank god the Beauburg is right here. You drive and park your car to the parking lot nearby, get up, lock your car and start walking towards the cafeteria.
The smoke from the cigarette clenched between your teeth spreads calmly inside the car. So peaceful, so soft. It's silky form slowly hugging the seats, the dashboard, the steering wheel, your arms, your lap. No need to open the windows. You like the smoke inside, here, with you. You want to watch it. There's so much frustration, so many imbalances, that you want to contemplate this tranquillity, if only just for a while. To you, this is a moment of happiness. Peace without conditions.
You quickly get a strong reminder of the realities of life, as you startle to several, very loud, car horns. You hit the brake and realize you almost crashed into multiple cars while crossing a four-way intersection during a red light. Great. All this soundscape isn't helping your sore head. A man who looks like a business man, complete with stylized hair and a suit, driving a silver Volkswagen gives you the finger. You return the courtesy and sign the cars to move past you, which isn't easy, as you're pretty much smack middle the crossing. Something is burning your thigh. The cigarette you were smoking seems to have fallen out of your mouth. "Shit!", you exclaim, roll your window down and throw the almost burned out stub into the street. There is a burnt mark in your pant leg now. You sigh.
You patiently wait as a few cars, some of them angrily beeping at you, pass around you, then drive off at the green light. Damn. You're losing your grip. Keeping your mind on things shouldn't be this difficult. There's no room for mistakes for you. Hopefully, your next job will be different. Thank god the Beauburg is right here. You drive and park your car to the parking lot nearby, get up, lock your car and start walking towards the cafeteria.