Tales From The Basement

You decide to buy more useless shit. You can never have enough, you fuckin' obsessed pack rat.

Okay well some of this shit isn't useless, and might even do you some good. Certain items catch your eye.

You see a car that's made completely out of asbestos! How cool would that be? You could drive through fire and be none the worse for wear! True you rarely go out anymore, but maybe this would be the thing that could do it!

You see a bomb shelter for sale made of xentronium armor. Could be useful in these dangerous times we live in and it'll definitely provide you more protection than the basement.

There's a small island made of Styrofoam in the middle of the ocean. It says it's held together by hemp. While you've never been one for the beaches and sun, you wonder if you could rent it out some how. Maybe movie producers would pay you to use it or something.

Actually perhaps something more practical might be good, there's some toilet paper for sale. You know you always need that!

Finally, you see a building for sale; it doesn't really give a description. It just says "Generic Gray Building" It might be a good thing to invest in since you're getting tired of hearing your Mom's moans of ecstasy at night when she's masturbating with her 400 horse powered vibrator. A place of your own might be in order.