wtfofl

You perform surgery on yourself. Using a mirror, your college surgery kit and a bottle of whiskey for anesthesia, you work on yourself until the surgery is a success! (Hey, I did say you are smart in this story, right?) You're alive!!!

And then you realize that shit is coming out of your mouth and you have to eat through your ass. Looks like you've accidentally reprogrammed your bodily functions! Yikes! What do you do?