Mediocre Moose Maulings!!
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Zelda, you say that, like, every moment you can!"
You decide to have a roleplaying session to find out why Zelda's been saying this since she was a child, by pretending to be her father.
"Hello daddy!"
"Zelda, why are you behaving so rudely. Didn't I teach you better?"
"You never taught me anything! You never cared about me at all!"
"Don't be ridiculous, I'm your father, I'll always love you."
"YOU NEVER LOVED ME!! You'd always come home drunk, I could always smell the stench of that devil's breath on you. You'd always ignore me and watch the news all night! WHY WONT YOU LOVE ME DADDY?!"
"Maybe it was because you reminded me too much of your mother! Everytime I looked at you I saw her cold, blood stained, bear mauled corpse that was left on our front porch!"
"You told me you killed her!"
"I only wanted to protect you from the cold truth about death!"
"Oh daddy, you did love me!"
The two of you then start making out in the kitchen. This is just messed up.
"So...wanna go do something later?" you suggest. Zelda looks worried, "But if we further your character development, then you'd gain a personality, and you wouldn't be just a two dimensional generic plot device to further a story!"
"Zelda, you say that, like, every moment you can!"
You decide to have a roleplaying session to find out why Zelda's been saying this since she was a child, by pretending to be her father.
"Hello daddy!"
"Zelda, why are you behaving so rudely. Didn't I teach you better?"
"You never taught me anything! You never cared about me at all!"
"Don't be ridiculous, I'm your father, I'll always love you."
"YOU NEVER LOVED ME!! You'd always come home drunk, I could always smell the stench of that devil's breath on you. You'd always ignore me and watch the news all night! WHY WONT YOU LOVE ME DADDY?!"
"Maybe it was because you reminded me too much of your mother! Everytime I looked at you I saw her cold, blood stained, bear mauled corpse that was left on our front porch!"
"You told me you killed her!"
"I only wanted to protect you from the cold truth about death!"
"Oh daddy, you did love me!"
The two of you then start making out in the kitchen. This is just messed up.
"So...wanna go do something later?" you suggest. Zelda looks worried, "But if we further your character development, then you'd gain a personality, and you wouldn't be just a two dimensional generic plot device to further a story!"