The Country from Hell
After what seems like an eternity, you finally make it to the entrance of the municipal pool. Proudly forking over the twenty-five thousand admission, you make your way to the lovely Olympic-sized bathtub, crown jewel of the City of Klo.
Except for a few hard plastic upright seats around the pool's perimeter, the only place to spread out is on a small patch of scrub grass interspersed with cinder blocks that you must share with about half the city's population. Your ears ring with the racket of shouting children, swimmers splashing each other, and gossiping, laughing girls. Everywhere you look, there are beautiful Iadian foxes in bikinis. Brunettes, a few blondes, all stretching out like lazy housecats, their almond eyes drinking in the sunshine. What kind of a fool would ever want to leave this country?
You eagerly rip off your drenched tee-shirt, tucking it under your head as you stake out a place for yourself on the grass. The unmistakable stench from your armpits beats at your nose, and you imagine at your neighbor's too, so you tuck your arms by your sides and hope no one else will notice. You would go swimming, but you have no trunks. Besides, you have to keep an eye on the hundred thousand still tucked carefully into your pocket. You can vaguely make out the strains of the radio playing from a large speaker somewhereÂ…
"Your girlfriend is a ho
Cuz' her mama was a ho
Cuz' her mama's mama was a ho
It's the word on the street
Everybody fuckin' knows"
You smile to yourself. Iadian gangsta rap at its finestÂ…you close your eyes and are just starting to drift contentedly off in a sea of mindlessness when you feel a cool hand tap you on the shoulder. Forcing one eye open, you see the face of a lovely brunette hovering above you. Her light-blue bikini makes her look especially delicate, like a little glass ornament. You can't help but smile.
"What's up?" she says, smiling seductively down at you. "Want to come hang out with me and my friend?" She motions to a blonde standing at the edge of the pool, beads of glimmering water illuminating her ample breasts. The blonde smiles and winks at you.
You are up on your feet before you know any better, holding your ratty tee-shirt and letting the brunette guide you over the heads of the other sunbathers towards her friend.
"Hi!" you greet the blonde enthusiastically.
"Me and my friend think you're cute," says the blonde.
"Yeah," adds the brunette. "But you stink worse than a trucker's toilet."
"What?" you ask, shaking your head a little. Maybe you didn't quite hear.
"We were trying to sunbathe, but you smell too bad," the blonde snarls, crinkling up her nose as her eyes turn black.
"So we decided to give you a bath!"
Before you know what's happening, both girls have pushed you headfirst into the pool.
You land hard on your back. You can barely swim. You paw frantically at the water, managing to grasp the side as the entire pool area erupts in a storm of hysterical laughter. Kids in the pool kick water at you. All those pretty girls throw their heads back in grotesque poses, staring mercilessly at you as you float there with your hair in your face. The chlorine stings your eyes, but you manage to smile and wave at the crowd. Still, you move faster than you knew you could, scooping up your soaking shirt and dragging your sopping wet self out of the pool as the laughter reverberates menacingly off the concrete walls of the exit.
Smiling like an asshole, you drip your way down the street, attracting the occasional stony glare or smirk from the passersby.
Iadian girls: so pretty, so poisonous.
"I really need a drink," you say to yourself as you direct yourself home, allowing the relentless sun to slowly dry out the thoughts in your head and the clothes on your body.
Except for a few hard plastic upright seats around the pool's perimeter, the only place to spread out is on a small patch of scrub grass interspersed with cinder blocks that you must share with about half the city's population. Your ears ring with the racket of shouting children, swimmers splashing each other, and gossiping, laughing girls. Everywhere you look, there are beautiful Iadian foxes in bikinis. Brunettes, a few blondes, all stretching out like lazy housecats, their almond eyes drinking in the sunshine. What kind of a fool would ever want to leave this country?
You eagerly rip off your drenched tee-shirt, tucking it under your head as you stake out a place for yourself on the grass. The unmistakable stench from your armpits beats at your nose, and you imagine at your neighbor's too, so you tuck your arms by your sides and hope no one else will notice. You would go swimming, but you have no trunks. Besides, you have to keep an eye on the hundred thousand still tucked carefully into your pocket. You can vaguely make out the strains of the radio playing from a large speaker somewhereÂ…
"Your girlfriend is a ho
Cuz' her mama was a ho
Cuz' her mama's mama was a ho
It's the word on the street
Everybody fuckin' knows"
You smile to yourself. Iadian gangsta rap at its finestÂ…you close your eyes and are just starting to drift contentedly off in a sea of mindlessness when you feel a cool hand tap you on the shoulder. Forcing one eye open, you see the face of a lovely brunette hovering above you. Her light-blue bikini makes her look especially delicate, like a little glass ornament. You can't help but smile.
"What's up?" she says, smiling seductively down at you. "Want to come hang out with me and my friend?" She motions to a blonde standing at the edge of the pool, beads of glimmering water illuminating her ample breasts. The blonde smiles and winks at you.
You are up on your feet before you know any better, holding your ratty tee-shirt and letting the brunette guide you over the heads of the other sunbathers towards her friend.
"Hi!" you greet the blonde enthusiastically.
"Me and my friend think you're cute," says the blonde.
"Yeah," adds the brunette. "But you stink worse than a trucker's toilet."
"What?" you ask, shaking your head a little. Maybe you didn't quite hear.
"We were trying to sunbathe, but you smell too bad," the blonde snarls, crinkling up her nose as her eyes turn black.
"So we decided to give you a bath!"
Before you know what's happening, both girls have pushed you headfirst into the pool.
You land hard on your back. You can barely swim. You paw frantically at the water, managing to grasp the side as the entire pool area erupts in a storm of hysterical laughter. Kids in the pool kick water at you. All those pretty girls throw their heads back in grotesque poses, staring mercilessly at you as you float there with your hair in your face. The chlorine stings your eyes, but you manage to smile and wave at the crowd. Still, you move faster than you knew you could, scooping up your soaking shirt and dragging your sopping wet self out of the pool as the laughter reverberates menacingly off the concrete walls of the exit.
Smiling like an asshole, you drip your way down the street, attracting the occasional stony glare or smirk from the passersby.
Iadian girls: so pretty, so poisonous.
"I really need a drink," you say to yourself as you direct yourself home, allowing the relentless sun to slowly dry out the thoughts in your head and the clothes on your body.