Brothers
In the weeks that follow you find yourself reflecting on things.
You feel a bit better about the Vicky incident having had an opportunity to explain things and apologize. That's not to say that you don't feel bad about what happened, just that you can move on now that there is some closure on the issue.
You still have your doubts about Gwen and the decision to abort. As you think back on that decision, you wonder if the thought had even crossed Gwen's mind before you suggested it. You wonder how things would have been different between you if you had welcomed your off-spring to the world rather than denying him the opportunity to experience existence.
You wonder if your mother would still be alive if you hadn't moved out on your own, if you had stayed at home. You were always the strong one in the family, and you realize now how much everyone depended on you.
Maybe you should have moved back home after your mom died, but at least you are in contact with your family again. It's a shame that it took death to reunite you.
Your father drinks less now. He's still a drinker, but not to the point of unconsciousness anymore.
Kenny talks a little now and then. The poor kid will never have a normal life. You know that what happened to Kenny wasn't your fault, but that doesn't make you stop wishing you could've somehow prevented it from happening.
A few years later Mikey overdoses on cocaine at a party. His funeral was a heartbreaker. It hit you harder than when your mother died. Mikey was alive and trying to cope with what happened rather than hiding from it. Eventually, he lost the battle and gave up. Now he is gone forever, just another soul that will never be given a chance to truly live.
To the end, Mikey blamed himself for what happened to Kenny. You have no doubts that your parents threw a little blame his way as well, he was the only other person in the family there when it happened, after all. As they lower his casket into the ground you wish you had been a bit closer to him and could have somehow prevented this from happening.
After Mikey's funeral, you talk to your dad about some things; telling him that he has to be more responsible and attentive to Kenny. You tell him that he needs to seriously sober up so that you don't lose Kenny too.
Your father tries, but ultimately fails to stay sober. He dies a few months after in a car accident, he was drunk at the time and shouldn't have been driving in the first place. One of the two passengers in the other vehicle died in the accident as well. As fate would have it, Gwen was the woman who your father killed.
Realizing that Kenny cannot fend for himself, you take him in. As the weeks pass he opens up to you more and more until he is regularly conversing with you. It feels good to have him back and alive in the world around him.
You continue working your way up the corporate ladder. A few years later, when the call center closes in order to outsource work, you are able to transfer to another location and retain your employment.
You move to the city and Kenny comes with you. The two of you talk about it, and this move seems like the perfect place to start anew.
Kenny gets a job, starts socializing. One day he introduces you to a lady friend named Wanda. She's a clinical psychologist and she understands Kenny's mindset because she went through something similar in her childhood. They lean on one another, their bond and love growing ever tighter. A year later they marry and start a family of their own.
The day comes when you are celebrating your 50th birthday. You go out to eat with some friends and the party follows you home where you enjoy a late night of conversation.
One by one your friends leave, until only you, Kenny, Wanda, and their children remain. Wanda and the kids fall asleep on your couch watching some family movie on the TV.
You and Kenny step out on the balcony to take in the city lights.
"God, it's beautiful out here," you say.
"Yeah," says Kenny. There is a bit of silence between the two of you until Kenny clears his throat.
"We've been through a lot," he says. You nod along in agreement. "Our lives haven't been easy. But you've done one hell of a job with your life."
You want to protest, thinking back on the poor decisions you've made; thinking back on the pain you've caused, thinking back on all the times you have failed the people that love you and failed yourself. But he continues before you can interject.
"If it weren't for you, Paul, I wouldn't be here today. I want you to know that. There was a time, after Mikey died, that I thought about ending it all. I had it all planned. And then when dad died, I knew I had to do it. I didn't want to ruin your life the way I ruined everyone else's. I had the razorblade pressed to my skin even as the phone rang with your call. I lifted it up when I heard your voice on the machine." His voice quivers a bit.
You rest a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Kenny."
"If it weren't for you I never would have met Wanda, never had these beautiful children, never lived. You are the reason I am alive. Mikey tried to cheer me up when he was alive, but it wasn't like what you did. You made me realize that there is a world out there, a world that I could live in."
"You realized that yourself," you tell him.
"Thank you for being there for me, Paul." He says. "I love you."
He embraces you in a teary-eyed hug as his body racks with sobs. You return the embrace and find yourself crying as well.
"Hey, I'm just glad you came around, kid," you tell him.
The embrace is long, but not awkward. Eventually it ends and Kenny wishes you a good night, goes back into the apartment and collects his family before leaving.
You stand out on the balcony staring out over the sea of city lights below and reflect on your life.
Maybe you didn't do so bad after all.
You feel a bit better about the Vicky incident having had an opportunity to explain things and apologize. That's not to say that you don't feel bad about what happened, just that you can move on now that there is some closure on the issue.
You still have your doubts about Gwen and the decision to abort. As you think back on that decision, you wonder if the thought had even crossed Gwen's mind before you suggested it. You wonder how things would have been different between you if you had welcomed your off-spring to the world rather than denying him the opportunity to experience existence.
You wonder if your mother would still be alive if you hadn't moved out on your own, if you had stayed at home. You were always the strong one in the family, and you realize now how much everyone depended on you.
Maybe you should have moved back home after your mom died, but at least you are in contact with your family again. It's a shame that it took death to reunite you.
Your father drinks less now. He's still a drinker, but not to the point of unconsciousness anymore.
Kenny talks a little now and then. The poor kid will never have a normal life. You know that what happened to Kenny wasn't your fault, but that doesn't make you stop wishing you could've somehow prevented it from happening.
A few years later Mikey overdoses on cocaine at a party. His funeral was a heartbreaker. It hit you harder than when your mother died. Mikey was alive and trying to cope with what happened rather than hiding from it. Eventually, he lost the battle and gave up. Now he is gone forever, just another soul that will never be given a chance to truly live.
To the end, Mikey blamed himself for what happened to Kenny. You have no doubts that your parents threw a little blame his way as well, he was the only other person in the family there when it happened, after all. As they lower his casket into the ground you wish you had been a bit closer to him and could have somehow prevented this from happening.
After Mikey's funeral, you talk to your dad about some things; telling him that he has to be more responsible and attentive to Kenny. You tell him that he needs to seriously sober up so that you don't lose Kenny too.
Your father tries, but ultimately fails to stay sober. He dies a few months after in a car accident, he was drunk at the time and shouldn't have been driving in the first place. One of the two passengers in the other vehicle died in the accident as well. As fate would have it, Gwen was the woman who your father killed.
Realizing that Kenny cannot fend for himself, you take him in. As the weeks pass he opens up to you more and more until he is regularly conversing with you. It feels good to have him back and alive in the world around him.
You continue working your way up the corporate ladder. A few years later, when the call center closes in order to outsource work, you are able to transfer to another location and retain your employment.
You move to the city and Kenny comes with you. The two of you talk about it, and this move seems like the perfect place to start anew.
Kenny gets a job, starts socializing. One day he introduces you to a lady friend named Wanda. She's a clinical psychologist and she understands Kenny's mindset because she went through something similar in her childhood. They lean on one another, their bond and love growing ever tighter. A year later they marry and start a family of their own.
The day comes when you are celebrating your 50th birthday. You go out to eat with some friends and the party follows you home where you enjoy a late night of conversation.
One by one your friends leave, until only you, Kenny, Wanda, and their children remain. Wanda and the kids fall asleep on your couch watching some family movie on the TV.
You and Kenny step out on the balcony to take in the city lights.
"God, it's beautiful out here," you say.
"Yeah," says Kenny. There is a bit of silence between the two of you until Kenny clears his throat.
"We've been through a lot," he says. You nod along in agreement. "Our lives haven't been easy. But you've done one hell of a job with your life."
You want to protest, thinking back on the poor decisions you've made; thinking back on the pain you've caused, thinking back on all the times you have failed the people that love you and failed yourself. But he continues before you can interject.
"If it weren't for you, Paul, I wouldn't be here today. I want you to know that. There was a time, after Mikey died, that I thought about ending it all. I had it all planned. And then when dad died, I knew I had to do it. I didn't want to ruin your life the way I ruined everyone else's. I had the razorblade pressed to my skin even as the phone rang with your call. I lifted it up when I heard your voice on the machine." His voice quivers a bit.
You rest a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Kenny."
"If it weren't for you I never would have met Wanda, never had these beautiful children, never lived. You are the reason I am alive. Mikey tried to cheer me up when he was alive, but it wasn't like what you did. You made me realize that there is a world out there, a world that I could live in."
"You realized that yourself," you tell him.
"Thank you for being there for me, Paul." He says. "I love you."
He embraces you in a teary-eyed hug as his body racks with sobs. You return the embrace and find yourself crying as well.
"Hey, I'm just glad you came around, kid," you tell him.
The embrace is long, but not awkward. Eventually it ends and Kenny wishes you a good night, goes back into the apartment and collects his family before leaving.
You stand out on the balcony staring out over the sea of city lights below and reflect on your life.
Maybe you didn't do so bad after all.
