Brothers

Pulling up to the house you grew up in, you can't help but feel some nostalgia and longing for the old days, when things were good.

Your family seemed so perfect for a while there, a loving mother, a caring father, and three happy kids. Then something happened. Kenny went away for a week and everything changed. Your father drowned himself in alcohol and your mother disappeared entirely.

You wish there were a way to go back to better times.

The door is answered by Mikey, he hugs you briefly and welcomes you home. His eyes are bloodshot, presumably from tears. Your father is passed out on the couch, an empty bottle of whiskey on its side.

You catch up with Mikey, asking about everything; how dad has been, if anything had changed in the house. Turns out nothing has changed. Kenny still doesn't speak, father still drinks, and the rest of the family avoids the house like the plague.

Mikey tells you that mother overdosed on pills, died alone in her bed without anyone realizing it for hours. She was always secluding herself to her bed and everyone just got used to it.

You never gave it much thought before, but if someone from the outside family had intervened, had expressed love and concern; it might have been easier to cope. Uncles, aunts, cousins, and grandparents alike kept their distance all these years. They didn't want to expose themselves to the ugly side of life, so they let your family sink lower and lower in the depths of despair.

You wonder if any of them will show up for the funeral.

The next day you go to the showing. Before they let anyone else in, the funeral director allows your father and brothers to see your mom. Your father immediately bursts into tears, his cries of love and apology falling on dead ears. Mikey avoids looking at her for more than a moment, chokes on a sob, and exits the room. Kenny doesn't seem to react, but upon closer inspection you can see a tear rolling down from his eye. For you, it is a strange feeling. Your mourn the loss of your mother, but it's almost as though she died long ago. She's been dead since the day Kenny was taken. Nothing was the same after that, not for anyone.

Mom looks beautiful and unnaturally peaceful. The worried and sorrowful expression is erased from her face in death. She almost looks as she had been happy. The morticians were good.

You try to reassure Kenny and your father by putting your hands on their shoulders, but you can't seem to reassure yourself much less them.

After a while Mikey returns smelling like pot, his eyes blood shot and strangely sober. You standing in a line to shake hands with and hug the visitors who come to see your mother off. It's ironic to see the faces of the people who have shunned your family when you needed them the most. You want to curse them openly, to tell them that she might not have died were it not for their lack of support, for their lack of concern, for their lack of love. All they needed to do was lend a shoulder to lean on. All they needed to do was let your family know that they cared.

But that's what it all comes down to, you realize. They don't care. No one cares. Everyone is looking out for themselves. It's so easy to ignore the bad things, to turn the other way in the face of pain.

You want to be more upset with them, but you're no different. Thinking back on what happened to Vicky, you realize that you are just as bad as any of them, maybe worse.

After the funeral you go to the bar with your father and brothers. You get to talking. Your father wants you to come back home. He says the family needs you, that they need you to help with the bills, to help withÂ… He doesn't finish the sentence, but you know what he means. The family needs help on an emotional level. Your family needs to try to be a family.

But isn't it a little late for this? Aren't all of you already legal adults? Five years ago this might not have been such a bad idea, but now? Everyone just needs to get on with their lives. It's not too late to make your life better, and you think your father and brothers should be trying to do the same.

"Well," your father says. "What about it? Will you stay?"