The Teatime Of Infinity

Of course you don't. You're not writing this story, you're reading it. So back to Will, who you do know about.

So yeah. He's got a crumpet in his pocket. And it's a magic crumpet.

Will goes to school. Today's the day of the big track meet! Oh, joy! And Will is running the 100 meters, against the best kid in the state. Jeremy Slomann.

Will is nervous. He's going to make himself look like a fool against Jeremy Slomann. Once the time to change into his track uniform rolls around, Will takes off his pants (oooohhh! *Narrator slaps you for getting sexually excited and you stop moaning) and attempts to pull the crumpet out of his pocket so he can eat it for the carbohydrates.

But it's not there! It's like the crumpet just disappeared! Will also notices that there is a crumpet-shape indent in his thigh, as if it sank right into his body. But that's impossible.

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Will lines up for the race, Slomann on his right. The gun shoots. Will runs. And finishes the race in first! Will is amazed. Maybe the crumpet is in his body and gave him superspeed! What does Will do next?