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The Adventures of George W. Bush

In another one of your truly brilliant moves you decide to call up president-elect Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran. Never mind the fact that Iran is a defiant rogue nation that is voraciously pursuing a nuclear program of it's own in order to destroy Israel.

"What do you want, you pig-licking infidel!" comes Mahmoud's first fiery words as he answers the phone thousands of miles away. "Heheheheh. Look, Akbar, I know we've had our differences, but, well, hell...I'll let you build whatever the hell you want if you just help me out of this predicament!"

That seems to settle the mood. "Now you're speaking my language, you white American devil...tell me more," he prompts you. You begin to sweat as time runs down. "Look, I only got a couple minutes left. It's like this: I nuked them Frenchy-boys because they were acting all queer and stuff. Thing is, they're nukin' me back! It's what you call iro, er , ira, or...uh, um...ironio..." Your brow furrows in concentration as you struggle to think of the word that's alluding you. "Iran, Rany, Ira, Iro...Er..."

"Ironic?" "That's it!" you beam. "Boy, you sure are a smart feller. Anyway, got any advice, Abu?"

"My name's Mahmoud," he corrects you. "And my only advice is to get on your knees and face Mecca and beg Allah for forgiveness." "I dunno," you say hesitantly. "I don't think Jesus would like me doin' that."

"What good did your Jesus do you in this situation, you American vulture?" Oooh, he's got a point there, you know!