Another Monday Morning

That was an incredibly stupid idea. When you try to bite the Doberman on the ear, he re-arranges your face with his teeth. Being incredibly vain, you don't want to face the rest of your life looking like a pizza. So you grab the cyanide pill out of your pocket and swallow it. You die and go straight to Hell. Satan comes up to greet you. "You have been so naughty in your lifetime," he says, "I would like to dispatch you back on Earth as one of my agents. I believe you could help me harvest souls."