The Whole World In Your Hands
To begin your campaign for the votes of Evangelicals you visit an Evangelical church (makes sense.) Damn, those guys are crazy! The priest just keeps yelling the whole time about Iraq and such nonsense. Anyway, it works out well because he says you must follow your president at all costs because, well, Jesus put him in the Oval Office. He introduces you as the new President, and the crowds cheer. Your message is spread throughout the Midwest and South: Robert Lewis will kill all the women, kill all the blacks, kill all the druggies (yes ChubbyTelletuby that's you), kill all the gays (I suppose that's you as well), and kill all the nonbelievers (hmm I guess that's me). And wow, it works great. You pass through the primaries with ease, and are now up against someone you didn't expect: Hilary Clinton.
A woman! She think she'll beat you! Hahahahaha! She's a joke! She believes in women's rights. She thinks you should be nice to people and give your money to charity. Mwuhahaha the Republican way shall triumph. This should be easy. There are two ways to beat her: the usual GOP way (assassination) or the most fun way (get in her Oval Office). What's in gonna be chap?
A woman! She think she'll beat you! Hahahahaha! She's a joke! She believes in women's rights. She thinks you should be nice to people and give your money to charity. Mwuhahaha the Republican way shall triumph. This should be easy. There are two ways to beat her: the usual GOP way (assassination) or the most fun way (get in her Oval Office). What's in gonna be chap?