The Ring of Time
Unable to quickly think of anything, you instead simply freeze time to follow the hottie. You feel relatively certain that anything the old cow would have to say to anyone around would be instantly dismissed as senility.
With time conveniently frozen, you slip into the ladies' locker room and spy the hottie in the shower! (Why she would shower BEFORE a workout is completely beyond you, but perhaps she just comes here to meet men. Whatever.) With the scarcity of women that've been here today, you feel confident that you could start time again to enjoy this scene in full motion (rewinding as many times as may be necessary, of course). You find a spot on a bench just near the entrance to the locker room, but well out of anyone's sight. Convinced she'd neither turn this way to look or even see you if she did, you start time and begin enjoying the show. With no one around, you slowly convince yourself it would be okay to FULLY enjoy yourself (and you know what I mean). After only a minute or so, you're almost done when you hear, "THERE HE IS!!"
Before you can think, as what you were doing was just the slightest bit distracting, a large man in a policeman's uniform tackles you, knocking you to the ground, where, upon impact, the Ring is jostled from your finger and rolls a bit before disappearing down a floor drain.
The embarrassment you suffer with your family and entire school after this incident is unbearable. You are a laughingstock for years to come. Decades later, you return to the gym when it is demolished, yet are unable to find the ring amongst the rubble. Your life was a despairing waste that can never be rectified. Congratulations.
With time conveniently frozen, you slip into the ladies' locker room and spy the hottie in the shower! (Why she would shower BEFORE a workout is completely beyond you, but perhaps she just comes here to meet men. Whatever.) With the scarcity of women that've been here today, you feel confident that you could start time again to enjoy this scene in full motion (rewinding as many times as may be necessary, of course). You find a spot on a bench just near the entrance to the locker room, but well out of anyone's sight. Convinced she'd neither turn this way to look or even see you if she did, you start time and begin enjoying the show. With no one around, you slowly convince yourself it would be okay to FULLY enjoy yourself (and you know what I mean). After only a minute or so, you're almost done when you hear, "THERE HE IS!!"
Before you can think, as what you were doing was just the slightest bit distracting, a large man in a policeman's uniform tackles you, knocking you to the ground, where, upon impact, the Ring is jostled from your finger and rolls a bit before disappearing down a floor drain.
The embarrassment you suffer with your family and entire school after this incident is unbearable. You are a laughingstock for years to come. Decades later, you return to the gym when it is demolished, yet are unable to find the ring amongst the rubble. Your life was a despairing waste that can never be rectified. Congratulations.
