The Ring of Time
Not satisfied with just a little "PG" mayhem, you decide to visit the closest gym and see if you can turn your day to "R" (or at least "PG-13"). You stop time and walk for what seems like hours (and probably is, considering the closest gym is nearly ten miles away). You glance at your watch, which is still frozen at 0623. The parking lot seems awfully empty. It is then that you see the "Hours of Operation" sign beside the double glass doors.
"Curses!" you say, and then sharply reprimand yourself for using such an outdated expression. The gym doesn't open until 0630! You decide not to let that hinder your progress. You climb the nearest dense-foliage tree, unstop time, and watch the proceedings, intent on spying the lusty young businesswomen that must surely people this place just as soon as it opens.
After waiting until 0650, people slowly trickle in. Depressingly, the only people you see showing up are old, fat men and unemployed, desperate-looking guys (much like yourself though you're younger) in their mid- to late- twenties. It's nearly noon when you spy one potential hottie approaching the gym (probably on her lunch break). You're so glad she isn't one of the loser / geriatric crowd that you almost fall from your perch.
Thankful to not have to rest your aching behind on that big knobby branch anymore, you and your achy-from-miles-of-walking feet gladly descend. Unnoticed, you casually follow the lady from a distance into the gym. You watch from afar as she signs in, and then heads to the locker room. Mindlessly, you take her place at the sign-in board, with the crotchety-looking old secretary-hag peering over her half-circle wire-framed spectacles at you. Realizing what a sight you must be - sweaty from walking and dirty from tree climbing, you quickly try to think of something to say...
"Curses!" you say, and then sharply reprimand yourself for using such an outdated expression. The gym doesn't open until 0630! You decide not to let that hinder your progress. You climb the nearest dense-foliage tree, unstop time, and watch the proceedings, intent on spying the lusty young businesswomen that must surely people this place just as soon as it opens.
After waiting until 0650, people slowly trickle in. Depressingly, the only people you see showing up are old, fat men and unemployed, desperate-looking guys (much like yourself though you're younger) in their mid- to late- twenties. It's nearly noon when you spy one potential hottie approaching the gym (probably on her lunch break). You're so glad she isn't one of the loser / geriatric crowd that you almost fall from your perch.
Thankful to not have to rest your aching behind on that big knobby branch anymore, you and your achy-from-miles-of-walking feet gladly descend. Unnoticed, you casually follow the lady from a distance into the gym. You watch from afar as she signs in, and then heads to the locker room. Mindlessly, you take her place at the sign-in board, with the crotchety-looking old secretary-hag peering over her half-circle wire-framed spectacles at you. Realizing what a sight you must be - sweaty from walking and dirty from tree climbing, you quickly try to think of something to say...