The Great Sael Adventure 1
Upon the elimination being spoken, the rules and regulations of The Bonnie's Great Vacation Raffle immediately go into effect: the queen whose booty is shivered after each round of The Commodore's Drag Race is granted a two-week vacation to the nearest Port o' Carl Ota. This is a raffle only in the sense that there is some risk involved, as not all Port o' Carl Otas are created equal, and there is a 10% chance that you won't end up at the nearest one.
Chuck (The Ball Handler) walks over to the plank, ready to accept his fate. Chuck "The Ball" Sandler pulls the sacred lever to reveal the Portal o Por o Carl Ota. This inter-dimensional door transports the user to a Port o Carl Ota; it has a 90% (01–90 on 2 percentile dice) accuracy rate in selecting the nearest Port o Carl Ota, where the crew member can be picked up again in two weeks' time after a short vacation to celebrate their run on The Commodore's Drag Race. However, 8% (91–98 on 2 percentile dice) of the time, the user is blasted instantaneously to a random Port o Carl Ota somewhere in the multiverse; this teleportation is untraceable and (presumably) often fatal. And in 2% (99 or 00 on 2 percentile dice) of cases, the user is careened to the furthest Port o Carl Ota in the omniverse; this translocation is calculable, but it would take too long to go save someone who ends up there. So, you see, kind of a raffle!~
In order to determine Chuck (The Ball Handler)'s fate, the authors take time to roll 2 percentile dice. The result was a 57, meaning, good news! Chuck (The Ball Handler) is off for a wonderfully relaxing two weeks, all-expense-paid vacation at the nearby Port o Carl Ota.
Two weeks go by, and you pick him up! He had a great time and even got everyone aboard The Bonnie a souvenir. As the protagonist, you get first dibs on which souvenir you'd like. Chuck (The Ball Handler) holds out his hands. Which souvenir do you pick?
Chuck (The Ball Handler) walks over to the plank, ready to accept his fate. Chuck "The Ball" Sandler pulls the sacred lever to reveal the Portal o Por o Carl Ota. This inter-dimensional door transports the user to a Port o Carl Ota; it has a 90% (01–90 on 2 percentile dice) accuracy rate in selecting the nearest Port o Carl Ota, where the crew member can be picked up again in two weeks' time after a short vacation to celebrate their run on The Commodore's Drag Race. However, 8% (91–98 on 2 percentile dice) of the time, the user is blasted instantaneously to a random Port o Carl Ota somewhere in the multiverse; this teleportation is untraceable and (presumably) often fatal. And in 2% (99 or 00 on 2 percentile dice) of cases, the user is careened to the furthest Port o Carl Ota in the omniverse; this translocation is calculable, but it would take too long to go save someone who ends up there. So, you see, kind of a raffle!~
In order to determine Chuck (The Ball Handler)'s fate, the authors take time to roll 2 percentile dice. The result was a 57, meaning, good news! Chuck (The Ball Handler) is off for a wonderfully relaxing two weeks, all-expense-paid vacation at the nearby Port o Carl Ota.
Two weeks go by, and you pick him up! He had a great time and even got everyone aboard The Bonnie a souvenir. As the protagonist, you get first dibs on which souvenir you'd like. Chuck (The Ball Handler) holds out his hands. Which souvenir do you pick?