Suzy’s Strange Saga
You’re sick of everyone trying to control your life. You weren’t putting up with it with Bobby, and you’re sure as hell not going to put up with it with Jake.
“Are you just assuming I can’t carry the boxes around because I’m a woman?” you ask.
“What? No, that’s not it…” Jake starts to say before you interrupt.
“You just said a little thing like me doesn’t want to lug boxes around like I’m some helpless damsel.”
“Look, as a businessman it’s my job to match up potential employees with what they’re probably going to be best at. The fact is you ARE on the smaller side, not to mention you’ve just told me you’ve never done a hard day’s work in your life. So yeah, I don’t think you’re strong enough to do the job and not bitch about it or even get that much work done. I’d rather have you out here working the register.”
“You just want me out here as eye candy for the customers.” You reply.
“Jesus fucking Christ, I didn’t realize I was hiring a FemiNazi. Are you telling me you want to move boxes?” Jake says in exasperation.
“I’m not a goddamn FemiNazi and no I don’t want particularly want to move boxes, but my point is you just took the damn choice out of my hands and made a stupid assumption that I couldn’t do the job due to your own narrow-mindedness.”
Jack exhales again and rubs his face.
“Are you kidding fucking me? You’re arguing about a job you don’t even want? In fact, you don’t even want THIS job! You know how many employers would’ve thrown you out with that sort of shitty work ethic and you haven’t even started yet! I’m fucking helping YOU out by hiring you in the first place with absolutely no skills or experience and you’re giving me shit already! It’s not like I’m grabbing your ass and telling you to suck my dick! I’m trying to be a nice guy here.”
“Given with how you’re speaking to me, you’re not really all that fucking nice.” You respond.
“Alright, I’ve had it. Get the fuck out of my shop. You probably think because you’re pretty you can just get what you want well not this time bitch. I got enough shit to deal with, get the fuck out! Get out! Get out! Get out!” Jake yells and points at the door.
“FUCKING ASSHOLE!” you shout as loud as you can and storm out the shop.
Well that could’ve went better.
As you walk to your car, several nerd types are just now approaching the store. While they’re probably the sort that would’ve been staring at you all day if you’d been working at the shop, now they’re actively avoiding you since you’re mumbling and swearing to yourself like a crazy person.
Your swearing continues when you’re actually in the car. You bang on the steering wheel several times in frustration.
“I hate my fucking life!” you cry out and begin to sob.
Life just isn’t fair Suzy and lately for you it’s only been getting harder. All you wanted to do is hang out in your basement, hiding out from the rest of the world. Now your forced to deal with all this shit that you’re just no good at and when you do try to assert yourself, you fail at that too.
If you were fighting depression before, you’re currently getting your ass kicked by it. It’s a good thing you aren’t suicidal, but the thought is starting to cross your mind.
After taking a moment to pull yourself together, you think about what you need to do next.
“Okay…I need to go back home. Need to pack up all the most important shit I have and head over to Julie’s house.” You say to yourself.
With this new goal in mind, you pull out of the comic shop parking lot and intend on making your way back home.
You don’t get a couple blocks before you soon discover the way you came is barricaded due to an accident or something. There are ambulances and police cars blocking the way and you realize you’re going to have to go a different direction.
You go down some side streets and find out that they currently aren’t much better and in one instance actually worse as a bunch of people have made a makeshift barricade with overturned cars and some of them are shooting at each other. You get the hell out of the area as fast as you can before someone starts shooting at you.
After having to drive around avoiding barricades, downed power lines, overturned vehicles and general chaos, you begin to get even more frustrated since it’s starting to look like you can’t even get home. Or at least not by driving there and given the shit that’s going on, you’ll be damned if you’re going to get out of your vehicle to walk home.
“Goddamn it, I just want to get the fuck home! Fuck it, I’m just going to go to Julie’s now…” you shout to yourself.
It’s a further drive, but considering Julie lives in a better area, you’re hoping that maybe things won’t be as bad driving in that direction. You soon find out that isn’t the case as you’re desperately trying to avoid getting into an accident every five minutes.
“Seriously what the hell is going on with this town? Everyone is acting like an asshole even more than usual.” You say and you’re starting to wonder if there’s something in the water.
Turning on the radio doesn’t help, since you’re not getting much on it save for those annoying Ground Zero ads.
“Come on, there’s gotta be something about…SHIT!” you say when look up from the radio and are just in time to see a bus turning left and about to hit you.
You swerve immediately to avoid being hit, but unfortunately you slam the car into another speeding car, which crashes into your passenger side at full force.
You are knocked around as your car goes spinning across the street. It all happens so fast you don’t even have time to panic or feel the fear of possibly dying right now.
A large black truck slams on its breaks in an attempt to not hit you, which it succeeds in doing, only for your car to be stopped by lamppost instead. Thanks to airbags never working correctly when they should, you hit your head on the steering wheel hard and while you don’t quite knock yourself out you definitely scramble your brains a bit and you’re feeling pretty dazed.
While you’re still recovering, you suddenly hear knocking on your window and a voice.
“Hey, miss. Miss? You alright?”
You slowly look out your window and see a woman wearing glasses and dressed in business attire staring back at you. Well actually you’re sort of seeing two of her and the image is still a little blurry, but that’s the size of it.
You unhook your seat belt and get out of the car wincing in a bit of pain as you do so. The businesswoman helps you from falling since you’re still wobbly.
“You’re lucky to be alive, I’ve seen a shitload of crashes like yours since I’ve been driving through town today. I only just managed to put on my breaks when I saw your car spinning out of control like that.” she remarks.
You don’t really answer her; you just turn to look at the car, which is totaled. Besides part of the front being wrapped around a now leaning lamppost, the passenger side is trashed and you certainly aren’t going to be driving anywhere soon due to the front wheel area being caved in and the axel broken.
You just look at the wreckage of the car silently and then start to giggle at the situation. Soon the giggling becomes full blown laughter and the woman that helped you out of the car gives you a strange look.
“Are you alright?” she asks again.
“Oh I’m just peachy! This has been a wonderful day!” you say laughing.
“Do you know your name and where you’re at?”
“Yeah, my name is mud and I’m in a world of shit.” You say still laughing.
“Um, well you seem to be having a bit of difficulty balancing and you’ve got a nasty bruise on your forehead. You might have a concussion and given your laughter you might even be in some state of shock. I think it would be best if you had some medical attention.”
You look at the woman that’s trying to help you and begin to stop laughing quite as hard and your mind starts heading back to earth again. Your head and body remind you of the pain you’re actually still in.
“Yeah…yeah…maybe. Shit, my head does hurt… I guess…can you drive me to the hospital?” you ask.
“The hospital? Yeah, that place is sort of fucked right now. Even if we could get to it in this mess of chaos, the place has been overflowing with patients and you might be waiting a long time, if they get to you at all. I’m not sticking around in this town any longer than I need to. However, my brother is a doctor with his own private practice just outside town; he can probably check you out for free. It won’t be any problem since I’m going to him right now.” The woman says.
Well it’s either head somewhere with a complete stranger or try to make it to the hospital (or wherever) in your current condition.
“Are you just assuming I can’t carry the boxes around because I’m a woman?” you ask.
“What? No, that’s not it…” Jake starts to say before you interrupt.
“You just said a little thing like me doesn’t want to lug boxes around like I’m some helpless damsel.”
“Look, as a businessman it’s my job to match up potential employees with what they’re probably going to be best at. The fact is you ARE on the smaller side, not to mention you’ve just told me you’ve never done a hard day’s work in your life. So yeah, I don’t think you’re strong enough to do the job and not bitch about it or even get that much work done. I’d rather have you out here working the register.”
“You just want me out here as eye candy for the customers.” You reply.
“Jesus fucking Christ, I didn’t realize I was hiring a FemiNazi. Are you telling me you want to move boxes?” Jake says in exasperation.
“I’m not a goddamn FemiNazi and no I don’t want particularly want to move boxes, but my point is you just took the damn choice out of my hands and made a stupid assumption that I couldn’t do the job due to your own narrow-mindedness.”
Jack exhales again and rubs his face.
“Are you kidding fucking me? You’re arguing about a job you don’t even want? In fact, you don’t even want THIS job! You know how many employers would’ve thrown you out with that sort of shitty work ethic and you haven’t even started yet! I’m fucking helping YOU out by hiring you in the first place with absolutely no skills or experience and you’re giving me shit already! It’s not like I’m grabbing your ass and telling you to suck my dick! I’m trying to be a nice guy here.”
“Given with how you’re speaking to me, you’re not really all that fucking nice.” You respond.
“Alright, I’ve had it. Get the fuck out of my shop. You probably think because you’re pretty you can just get what you want well not this time bitch. I got enough shit to deal with, get the fuck out! Get out! Get out! Get out!” Jake yells and points at the door.
“FUCKING ASSHOLE!” you shout as loud as you can and storm out the shop.
Well that could’ve went better.
As you walk to your car, several nerd types are just now approaching the store. While they’re probably the sort that would’ve been staring at you all day if you’d been working at the shop, now they’re actively avoiding you since you’re mumbling and swearing to yourself like a crazy person.
Your swearing continues when you’re actually in the car. You bang on the steering wheel several times in frustration.
“I hate my fucking life!” you cry out and begin to sob.
Life just isn’t fair Suzy and lately for you it’s only been getting harder. All you wanted to do is hang out in your basement, hiding out from the rest of the world. Now your forced to deal with all this shit that you’re just no good at and when you do try to assert yourself, you fail at that too.
If you were fighting depression before, you’re currently getting your ass kicked by it. It’s a good thing you aren’t suicidal, but the thought is starting to cross your mind.
After taking a moment to pull yourself together, you think about what you need to do next.
“Okay…I need to go back home. Need to pack up all the most important shit I have and head over to Julie’s house.” You say to yourself.
With this new goal in mind, you pull out of the comic shop parking lot and intend on making your way back home.
You don’t get a couple blocks before you soon discover the way you came is barricaded due to an accident or something. There are ambulances and police cars blocking the way and you realize you’re going to have to go a different direction.
You go down some side streets and find out that they currently aren’t much better and in one instance actually worse as a bunch of people have made a makeshift barricade with overturned cars and some of them are shooting at each other. You get the hell out of the area as fast as you can before someone starts shooting at you.
After having to drive around avoiding barricades, downed power lines, overturned vehicles and general chaos, you begin to get even more frustrated since it’s starting to look like you can’t even get home. Or at least not by driving there and given the shit that’s going on, you’ll be damned if you’re going to get out of your vehicle to walk home.
“Goddamn it, I just want to get the fuck home! Fuck it, I’m just going to go to Julie’s now…” you shout to yourself.
It’s a further drive, but considering Julie lives in a better area, you’re hoping that maybe things won’t be as bad driving in that direction. You soon find out that isn’t the case as you’re desperately trying to avoid getting into an accident every five minutes.
“Seriously what the hell is going on with this town? Everyone is acting like an asshole even more than usual.” You say and you’re starting to wonder if there’s something in the water.
Turning on the radio doesn’t help, since you’re not getting much on it save for those annoying Ground Zero ads.
“Come on, there’s gotta be something about…SHIT!” you say when look up from the radio and are just in time to see a bus turning left and about to hit you.
You swerve immediately to avoid being hit, but unfortunately you slam the car into another speeding car, which crashes into your passenger side at full force.
You are knocked around as your car goes spinning across the street. It all happens so fast you don’t even have time to panic or feel the fear of possibly dying right now.
A large black truck slams on its breaks in an attempt to not hit you, which it succeeds in doing, only for your car to be stopped by lamppost instead. Thanks to airbags never working correctly when they should, you hit your head on the steering wheel hard and while you don’t quite knock yourself out you definitely scramble your brains a bit and you’re feeling pretty dazed.
While you’re still recovering, you suddenly hear knocking on your window and a voice.
“Hey, miss. Miss? You alright?”
You slowly look out your window and see a woman wearing glasses and dressed in business attire staring back at you. Well actually you’re sort of seeing two of her and the image is still a little blurry, but that’s the size of it.
You unhook your seat belt and get out of the car wincing in a bit of pain as you do so. The businesswoman helps you from falling since you’re still wobbly.
“You’re lucky to be alive, I’ve seen a shitload of crashes like yours since I’ve been driving through town today. I only just managed to put on my breaks when I saw your car spinning out of control like that.” she remarks.
You don’t really answer her; you just turn to look at the car, which is totaled. Besides part of the front being wrapped around a now leaning lamppost, the passenger side is trashed and you certainly aren’t going to be driving anywhere soon due to the front wheel area being caved in and the axel broken.
You just look at the wreckage of the car silently and then start to giggle at the situation. Soon the giggling becomes full blown laughter and the woman that helped you out of the car gives you a strange look.
“Are you alright?” she asks again.
“Oh I’m just peachy! This has been a wonderful day!” you say laughing.
“Do you know your name and where you’re at?”
“Yeah, my name is mud and I’m in a world of shit.” You say still laughing.
“Um, well you seem to be having a bit of difficulty balancing and you’ve got a nasty bruise on your forehead. You might have a concussion and given your laughter you might even be in some state of shock. I think it would be best if you had some medical attention.”
You look at the woman that’s trying to help you and begin to stop laughing quite as hard and your mind starts heading back to earth again. Your head and body remind you of the pain you’re actually still in.
“Yeah…yeah…maybe. Shit, my head does hurt… I guess…can you drive me to the hospital?” you ask.
“The hospital? Yeah, that place is sort of fucked right now. Even if we could get to it in this mess of chaos, the place has been overflowing with patients and you might be waiting a long time, if they get to you at all. I’m not sticking around in this town any longer than I need to. However, my brother is a doctor with his own private practice just outside town; he can probably check you out for free. It won’t be any problem since I’m going to him right now.” The woman says.
Well it’s either head somewhere with a complete stranger or try to make it to the hospital (or wherever) in your current condition.