Ducky Park
While the public has always liked the fish more, the dog always had more fun. Being evil is like that, you muse as you step in to the silk lined furry brown dog suit. You can do whatever you want without having to care about what other people think.
You slide your hands into the sleeves and pick up the enormous Dastardly Dog head. There's no way he was this big in the cartoon, you think. "This is ridiculous," you say aloud.
You stare at the features of Dastardly Dogs' face; the long rounded snout, the big stupid eyes wiht the big angry glare, and the bared pointed teeth.
You shake your head and put the dog head atop your own. The first thing you notice is the odor. It smells like a thousand sweaty heads have used this exact mask before. Breath and sweat have soaked into the fabric of the suit. Hanging your head in sorrow, you walk out of the costume closet and through the big office to the door on the far end that leads you into the souvenir shop.
When you through the gift shop, the young woman at the counter stops you. "Dastardly," She says; "Your zipper is down."
You immediately look down, expecting your cock to be dangling in the air and flopping around like a wind sock, but she comes around behind you and zips up your costume.
"Oh," You say; "Thank you."
"Sure thing," She says. "If you need to go to the bathroom you have to get that unzipped. Except for this one girl who said she was a contortionist."
"Uh-huh," You say. You're not sure what a contortionist is. And anyway you don't know what to say to her as you're not exactly used to female attention. She looks at you uncomfortably after a period of silence and smiles nervously. "OK... Well, good luck out there."
"Thanks," You wave a hand, realizing how ridiculous it must look only after you begin. You turn around and walk out of the gift shop, hoping somehow that she assumed you were attractive beneath the costume.
On your way out, you bump your massive costume head on a pole and curse the narrow line of vision you have through the cartoon eye slits. You walk into the street to find some kindergarten age children laughing at your clumsiness.
What would Double D do at a time like this? Then you realize exactly what he would do, and do it. You shake your head and growl and chase the kids. The children scream in terror at your approach, and hide behind their parents. The parents laugh and smile and wave to you. The father pats you on the shoulder and tells you that you are a great Dastardly Dog. One of the kids looks up from tear rimmed eyes and throws up his middle finger at you as everyone else turns their back to you. You fake like you're going to chase him and he screams a little and hides behind his mother's leg again.
Being evil is cool, You decide as you walk on in search of more victims. You find and terrify several more groups of children in the next hour until you feel a tap on your shoulder. When you turn around three bikers dressed all in leather are standing behind you.
"Dastardly Dog," The lead biker says from beneath his shaggy full beard. "You've been my idol since I was a boy. And I swore to God that when I got down here I would buy you a beer."
He is a big man, over six feet tall with a barrel of a chest and a gut to match. Behind him are a skinny man with a black mohawk and a lazy eye; and a tough looking bald guy with long drooping mustache and thick sideburns. "Come with us to the Beer Gardens and we'll each buy a round." The leader says to you.
You know you should turn them down, but worry what will happen if you don't go with them.
You slide your hands into the sleeves and pick up the enormous Dastardly Dog head. There's no way he was this big in the cartoon, you think. "This is ridiculous," you say aloud.
You stare at the features of Dastardly Dogs' face; the long rounded snout, the big stupid eyes wiht the big angry glare, and the bared pointed teeth.
You shake your head and put the dog head atop your own. The first thing you notice is the odor. It smells like a thousand sweaty heads have used this exact mask before. Breath and sweat have soaked into the fabric of the suit. Hanging your head in sorrow, you walk out of the costume closet and through the big office to the door on the far end that leads you into the souvenir shop.
When you through the gift shop, the young woman at the counter stops you. "Dastardly," She says; "Your zipper is down."
You immediately look down, expecting your cock to be dangling in the air and flopping around like a wind sock, but she comes around behind you and zips up your costume.
"Oh," You say; "Thank you."
"Sure thing," She says. "If you need to go to the bathroom you have to get that unzipped. Except for this one girl who said she was a contortionist."
"Uh-huh," You say. You're not sure what a contortionist is. And anyway you don't know what to say to her as you're not exactly used to female attention. She looks at you uncomfortably after a period of silence and smiles nervously. "OK... Well, good luck out there."
"Thanks," You wave a hand, realizing how ridiculous it must look only after you begin. You turn around and walk out of the gift shop, hoping somehow that she assumed you were attractive beneath the costume.
On your way out, you bump your massive costume head on a pole and curse the narrow line of vision you have through the cartoon eye slits. You walk into the street to find some kindergarten age children laughing at your clumsiness.
What would Double D do at a time like this? Then you realize exactly what he would do, and do it. You shake your head and growl and chase the kids. The children scream in terror at your approach, and hide behind their parents. The parents laugh and smile and wave to you. The father pats you on the shoulder and tells you that you are a great Dastardly Dog. One of the kids looks up from tear rimmed eyes and throws up his middle finger at you as everyone else turns their back to you. You fake like you're going to chase him and he screams a little and hides behind his mother's leg again.
Being evil is cool, You decide as you walk on in search of more victims. You find and terrify several more groups of children in the next hour until you feel a tap on your shoulder. When you turn around three bikers dressed all in leather are standing behind you.
"Dastardly Dog," The lead biker says from beneath his shaggy full beard. "You've been my idol since I was a boy. And I swore to God that when I got down here I would buy you a beer."
He is a big man, over six feet tall with a barrel of a chest and a gut to match. Behind him are a skinny man with a black mohawk and a lazy eye; and a tough looking bald guy with long drooping mustache and thick sideburns. "Come with us to the Beer Gardens and we'll each buy a round." The leader says to you.
You know you should turn them down, but worry what will happen if you don't go with them.