The Whole World In Your Hands

Ah...the American Dream! Nothing like it.

As you step into Wal-Mart you breathe the smell of all the white-trash conservatives inside. Oh, that's good conservative!

You go to the manager. "Could I have a job here at Wal-Mart?"

The manager stares you down, trying to discern any sarcasm. He decides you are true. "Of course! There is always room here at Wal-Mart for the aspiring alien!"

"Alien? I'm a legal citizen of the United States; I was born right here in Topeka."

"Sure ya were! I'll put you down as Mexican. Now, I'll have you answer a few questions: Can you speak English?"

"¡Por supuesto puedo hablar inglés!" you respond without realizing what you said.

"Are you literate?"

"I can sign my name and due to practice I can read the words "Must check in for parole every Monday."

"Do you have any special talents that might be of use here?"

"Oh yes, I can recite the alphabet backwards as fast as I can forwards. So basically I'll whip 'em out in two minutes."

"Excellent! Well, yes, you are actually over-qualified for this job, Mexican. You can pick your line of work: Greeter, Cashier, or the Special Job.

You have 3 choices:

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