Another Monday Morning

"Aha!" You say joyfully.


Moments later you're faced with a little Helicopter, somehow fitted with guided missile launchers, above the landing skids, below them hold nicely fitted autocannons. You swiftly open the door of the helicopter and before you know it, you're already sittinga at the console of the cockpit. You manage to switch on the engine, and listen intently to the rumble, and you hear the main rotor as it begins to come to life, along with the tail rotor. You pump your fist quickly in truimph at your success, surely you'll escape.

The only problem is...



...How the f*** are you going to fly this thing!?


You smash your fist against the instrumental panel, then, you notice a small booklet fitted on top, you reach out for it, open it, and read the contents. Usually, you'd be too lazy to read thi piece of shit, but you're in a crisis situation here, it could possibly be your only hope of survival.


It reads:


"A helicopter creates lift in a different way. Where a fixed wing aircraft has to be moving to produce lift by the "plane" or angle of attack on the wing, a helicopter achieves it by manipulating the main rotor blades, changing the angle at which they meet the air and subsequently the angle of attack. The drawback with this setup is the need for torque control with a tail rotor, which bleeds power from the engine every time it's used. That becomes a factor when you start getting into advanced manoeuvres..."


You stiffle a yawn, fuck this is boring, plus it isn't exactly helping either! Oh yeah, of course, there's more writing to bore you with.

"You must use one hand on the control lever that is at your side (the collective control stick) to raise or lower the helicopter, while at the same time controlling the throttle (not an easy task).
This is a control which is only found in helicopters and is linked to the engine power. Moving this up and down changes the pitch of the main rotors. As the pitch is increased more power is required from the engines so that the rotor speed is kept at the same level.
The cyclic control is the actual "stick." It tilts the main rotor assembly through 360 degrees, allowing forward, backward and sideways flight."



You read the remaining parts of this manual, attempting to memorise all the details, and everything written. Which proves quite hopeless.


You pull the lever to your left, and attempt to control the throttle, whilst pushing on the tail rotor pedals, controlling the other levers keeping up the momentum, you begin to ascend, but your coordination and uselessness proves unaffective when attempting to fly.


You struggle to keep this up, so you let go of everything all together and let it fall back onto the platform. You curse under your breath.


Suddenly, a cop bursts through the door that leads to the rooftop, you lay back in your seat, preparing for the worst. You've failed in your task of escape. Karma always comes back in the end, when you least expect it. Do you give up?

You have 2 choices:

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