Another Monday Morning

There is a brilliant flash of light, then an infant, the lord Baby Jesus Almighty savior, appears before your mother. She screams in horror, releasing your arm, and shields her eyes just before Jesus punches his baby fist through her skull. He tears her pulsating brain out, takes a bite of it, then hurls the gooey mess at your face.

Frantically, you wipe the organ off and scramble away. But Jesus still hungers. He approaches you slowly, staggering on infantile legs, his chubby little baby-hands clawing at the air before him.