Gurl PowR!

Very quietly, you lift the shiny new Blahsmo from its place and lower it down below the counter. Pepe turns around just as you have finished your little covert operation and smilingly hands you two four-packs of double-A batteries?

"Two?" you ask.

"Sí, mi amor. A special gift from your man Pepe."

"Thanks," you say timidly, feeling this odd sensation in the bottom of your stomach. Weird, …you've never had a menstrual cramp quite like that. "I'll see you later, Pepe."

"Bye-bye!" he laughs. "I'll let you know if I find you a real man! Maybe you like my brother Eduardo? Or my cousin Nico? No, no, I know! My second cousin Pedro!"

"Bye, Pepe." Walking back through the orange stands, you feel a little sick. Maybe you need some chocolate. Just as you are stepping back out onto the street, Pepe yells,

"Espera! Come back here!" Oh no! He's seen the Blahsmo! in your hands! Your limbs feel as heavy as a fat girl's. With absolute dread, you drag yourself back to the counter.

"Pepe, I ... …"

"You think you can leave without giving Pepe his kiss!" he yells indignantly, turning his right cheek to you and pointing dramatically at it with one meticulously manicured finger. You quickly kiss his cheek, and then the other, and then the other, say good-bye again and run out as quickly as you can. There is now a sweat mark on Blahsmo where your guilty little palm was clutching it. But oh well, now you've got your mag and your batteries, so you're all set. Why, then, do you feel kind of shitty? God, periods suck!

As you head back to your apartment, a figure in the distance catches your attention. Coming closer, she is unmistakable: a short skirt, halter top and long, wavy blonde hair. It's Gina! And she's crying her eyes out!
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