Calen

Horrible... just... awful.
Learn to spell... and write coherently... and... create plot... and sentences, and use words.

You need to work on your grammar to make it look more professional. There's no real "Fall in love" option in the story, and it's far too short. Characters aren't developed, all I know is she's with a crazy guy who thinks she's hot, and decides to kiss him- unsatisfying endings. But it did intrigue me, if only for the idea. Keep working on it. :)

Brilliant. Seemed so legitimate from the very beginning I thought it was all true, and you were going to be recounting a story. But then you turned it into a choose your own adventure style- you really have a knack for this! Hope to see more of your work!

It's a little thing called effort.

No! Bad infinite story person!

Grammar and plot, kthx

Sorry, but the quality is lacking, there's very little humor, and there's tons of other stories on the site just like this.
On the plus side, your grammar in it doesn't suck like so many others do.
First of all, unless you're god or something, you don't normally get to choose what someone is going to do. If it's survive the day, then to make a story actually successful, you need to have a plot, not just random blow up or eat the alarm clock. Also, if you say in the story title (this is going to be funny) chances are it isn't. Most good jokes and comedies don't say that.
Does Jerry Seinfeld go up on stage and say "This is going to be funny?"
Anyway, too many unfinished ends, and all in all I don't see much effort.
Good luck next time.

3 because it's not terrible, but something I've noticed is NOTHING HAPPENS IN YOUR STORIES.
There's no way to die and only ONE THE END normally. Add some adventure. Allow someone's arm to be cut off. This story HAS NO CLIMAX. Same with your other one. Why don't you have the bats eat your face if you make a mistake? I find it boring that I'm only driven out of the castle. You need a sense of danger to a story like that.
Also, work on your their, their, your, you're, etc. Using them in the right way.

Other than that, good job.

It doesn't develop enough. I don't feel myself having enough 'fun' for it to be considered an overload.

Like the others said, keep working on writing, and you'll improve. Good luck :)

The fact that you cannot spell you're correctly warrants this rating.

Poorly constructed. Many choices lead to the same rooms.
After reading the zombie survival guide, I cannot give this a good rating.

.__.;
Grammar and plot.

Kthxbye

Please continue it :) And give and option to become sane again D:

Agreed with Ves.

I'm very interested in this story. Hoping you will continue it soon. :) Great work, as I've seen from the comments you have improved the original drastically.

You're doing an amazing job. Keep it up.

If you're too lazy to make bad karma exciting, don't make it. Don't just throw me into a two choice both the end room. :/

There's not much to say.

A. The fact that you're blinded (literally) by a pyramid would cause it to be a major health hazard to anyone who happened to walk by.

B. The rooms are often too short.

C. The story doesn't progress with much plot.

On the up side, it is a good idea and you executed it fairly well, but it needs a lot of improvement.

MY REVIEW ENDS HERE.

No. Just... no.

I refuse to read a story without paragraph separation. Also, gotta work on your grammar.

The problem with worst stories is if they are the worst, they're no better than the drivel that fills the site from one line misspelled annoying pieces of garbage.
If it's a good story, it's not a worst story.
I did chuckle a little at points, so you get a 5. Therefore you've succeeded at a 'bad' story, so I can't very well give you any higher than that.

All that aside...
It seems I have made a mortal enemy. I must retreat and initiate a counter attack.

This story was amazing. Funny, and a good read. Hope to see more stories from you, partner. I don't hand out 10s lightly, by the way.
Enjoyed the paradoxes, and the picture from that horror movie with that HERE'S JOHNNY guy... am I right? That was from that movie?

Anyway, nice job.

Maaan, your mom's a bitch.

This story had a lot of funny choices, but you never actually went through with it so...

The...hell? O_o
You're not getting a one because the dots amused me.

More text and content.

Oh and "I will accept any member to be a friend."
Don't paste lies on your profile page, please.

Dude... rate this MA <_< I'm at school, I wasn't expecting to run into...

This story is brilliant, with a few flaws.
First of all, it seems luck has a lot to do with winning. Stories like that are difficult to get through, and annoying.
Secondly, some rooms are underdeveloped.
Overall I like your writing style, keep on working and keep it up! I thoroughly enjoyed this. :)

Honestly -_-
I apologize and request to be your friend and you get all bitchy.
I gave you some advice, harsh or not, your choice not to take it.

From now on I'm rating your stories the way I think they should be rated. Deal with it.

You have potential. You need to stop doing those automatic kill rooms, as they're not that funny. They can be in some situations, but so far I don't see any.
Try making a serious story. Your grammar is okay, so just try going from there :)

Incredible. Your writing style captures me like very few peoples can.

I urge you to continue this as. :)

Beginning rating: 10
-8 for grammar
+3 for the hunger/thirst/etc. bar
+1 for interesting idea
-1 for the fact that you can't befriend the dog D:
-3 for short rooms without much plot
Final rating: 2

Get better grammar and try again, and that'd boost your rating a bit. More plot and more development as well.

Seconded-
This story was horrible. There was no fear factor, no plot, no outcome that made sense.

I thought it would be good the first page I read. Then it just kind of went downhill.

I'd really like to see more. Although I'd love the male perspective...

Best hijack ever, and first one I've seen xD

You can't say part 2 coming soon when there are so many loose ends that all lead to part 2. For god's sake, you'd need to make like 30 part 2s.

Hey, Elmo is awesome. Imma eat you alife.
Oh, and the substance in my...

Well many things has more substance than this.

Grammar, plot, and more than one sentence rooms please.

Keep working on it. Your grammar, punctuation, spelling and plot seems to be enough to handle a huge story like this, so I'm going to be nice and rate this high in the hopes that you will keep working on it. :)

Wow, to find a random story that people have rated on...

Time to be unique and rate... oh, darn. Everyone else rated 1.

Looks like I'll be following the crowd, then.

Pokemon stories in this fashion are almost impossible to do. It branches out far too quickly to have any possibility of being complete.

If you can prove me wrong and spend about fifty hours making it similar to the game, I'll rate higher.

Still, 4 for pics. Normally you'd get a 1-3.

Try something different, or make the Pokemon story different than the game. Or spend 50+ hours. Whichever, really.

Starting rating: 10
+3 for being a Courage the Cowardly dog story (love that guy)=
13
-3 for the constant emo references
-2 for it not being on track
=8

-3 for it not being completed, some bad spelling and not following a basic plotline

=5

+1 for admitting that it's random

=6

All in all you might have gotten a 9 just for my love of courage, but the constant kill yourself/courage going emo/courage actually being brave option when he found out what was going on instead of screaming first which is what he usually does nets you a 6.

All in all it was fun, if you could keep working on it and stop the additions of those people that are like

ZOMG COURAGE GO EMO DYE HAIR BLACK SLIT WRISTS DIE

That was just dumb and a sad image of my favorite cowardly dog ;_;

There's only one way the story could go, considering there IS a part 2, but I would have liked to see more choices. Some bad grammar, but it was a good read so you earn a 6. Next time: Longer descriptions, more choices, don't do a room with choices just for the hell of it where only one leads to the next room (hella annoying) and Pokemon stories are VERY hard to accomplish given the gameplay. The only way I could ever rate a Pokemon game theme story higher than a 6 is if the person put hours of work into it and made it like the game. Then again, the game will always have more choices, so not much need.

If you're focusing more on plot, elaborate the characters and story- battles just waste time, so cut down on those, otherwise you'll be left with a million loose ends if you want the story to be halfway decent.

Still, a good effort for a Pokemon story, one of the best I've seen so far.

Lots of room for improvement, but I think you can do it.

Branches out far too quickly. I made the same mistake.

I think for now you should stick with short and sweet for choices so you can actually finish stories.

A classic horror story. I urge you to please finish it! I want to know the mystery that lurks within this literally rotten whorehouse, please ^_^;

Why's such a good story at such a low rating?

I'm giving you a three because you're improving- the grammar is better, but you need to slow down and include much more detail.

Although I myself am, unbelievably, somewhat of a YuYu Hakusho fan to an extent, I found little of it in the story.

There is a way to make rooms loop so you don't need to say go to work so many times and have to make the same rooms again and again, if you didn't know.

Grammar and punctuation are terrible, but I give you a 2 for effort. If I rated any higher, apoth, ves, donteatpoop and the other top writers on the site would hunt me down and make me eat flaming cheetahs. PINK flaming cheetahs.

My apologies.

Try for punctuation, a thick plot, a better knowledge of the site and a lot more rooms completed before you submit it. My story Forest Dweller had many rooms in it before I submitted it.

If you can get up the good grammar and plot, I'd love to have a YuYu story on here that wasn't based on dating Hiei.

Considering this is fanfiction, it is expected to be very good if it's to be accepted on the site. Fanfiction is all around hated here, unless it's worth reading.

Get ready for a bunch of flamers of the story (your username doesn't help much either)- that is, if this site were more crowded. Only Ves, myself and... maybe donteatpoop visit the site often. Not sure considering I haven't seen any submissions from anyone else.

Good luck on the site, but for now in the eyes of most readers you'll be just like any other illiterate on the site unless you improve dramatically.

This comment is far too long for a story this short. I'm feeling generous, though.

Again, improve if you wish your stories to be read and rated well. If it's just for fun, well, enjoy yourself.

I was torn between giving this a 9 and a 10. The problem that caused the rating to drop is it didn't really feel like I was in charge of my actions. -I- would never pour boiling water over someones head. I was hoping I would have the choice to keep her alive, but I didn't.

Everything else was marvelous. Excellent research or knowledge, as was said before.

I felt really stupid when I chose spitting in their face, not realizing duh, the sword-

Anyway great job. If you can make one that gives the reader a bit more control over the story, you can easily pull a ten from me.

One. Grammar. -10 points.

Two. Plot. -10 points.

Three. Humor. -10 points.

Total score: -30 points.

WHAT? I CAN ONLY SELECT AS LOW AS 1?!!!

Curse you, infinite-story.com rating score! CURSE JOO! D:

In all honesty? This is no different than the dozens, perhaps hundreds of bad grammar go-nowhere stories plaguing the site. Try again.

Amazing job. Some of your stories have really improved from the previous ones.

I urge you to make another like this, I had narrowed my views down to both Js and decided on Jane because she had been outside when one of the others had said they watched ALL of the guests disperse to their rooms, also it said he DID say he wished to rekindle his relationship with her, yet she said he did not. Made her look guilty.
I looked over the other J and it seemed like it was odd that he would say he was in two places at once- so I thought, I dunno- but I had a 50/50 chance on either.

A good start- everything seemed to be going wonderfully before I realized the lack of options and sudden deaths (not to mention the death of one of my friends with no way to stop it, aka no way to stop her from going and dying) made me realize it wasn't going to be as great as I thought.
I'd recommend you delete the rooms before Amanda leaves and create an option where she survives. It seems that the story is very straight forward. There should be different paths for different people dying or one where all your friends survive. Just my opinion.

Welcome to the site!

Keep working on it, but watch the grammar! :) (Your fired= You're fired)

Ahahhahaa...hahahhaa....hahahha... @Dumbleseductore.

End Master, it's Yu Yu Hakusho, not Inuyasha.

So, basically, it's a Saw parody?

This story WOULD have gotten a 7-10.
The only problem is it is not based on skill, but on luck. Some of the rooms didn't make much sense, and I failed to see why pulling the rope killed you while waiting and pulling it spared you.

Grammar got you to a 6, but lack of a good storyline, luck-based choices and a commonly used idea prevented you from getting any higher.

You've got potential, though. Maybe refine this or start a new one and work on that.

With grammar, work and an actual effort, this MIGHT have potential. For now, though...

Any story with an option killyourself on the first page is going to suck. First law of nature.

It's not long enough but has quite a good plot, and I loved my ending.

Living with the flowers -whistles- drinkin' lots of nec-tuh... havin a hot mate, aint is all just great...livin with the flow-ahs...

...Well done... you successfully used bad grammar... and created a boring story...

This is one of my favorite stories on the site. I'm giving it a nine because I think it could be expanded- there should be a way to end up with your old body and not be in servitude. Perhaps the option to trick Reggie somehow after you get his body. It should be easy to do this, just delete the last room and add some more. Just my opinion, anyway.

Still, it's a great idea and carried out beautifully. Good job.

Please finish it! And have an ending where she doesn't go to jail, I like her. >_<

Just because the story made me laugh, and I learned something new today because of it.
A few things actually.
A. Do something awesome and you can make phones appear on the ceiling.
B. Throwing muffins is fun.
C. Piles of goop can make the best pool players.

BOooooooooooooooooo! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! O_O

When Celos didn't know me I found it interesting, but you killed it by making two choices that led to dead end rooms. >_<

My pet squirrel which I don't have made a more interesting story than this. >_> And spells better.

Kingdom Hearts can not be re-created so easily.

For Family Guy, I was very disappointed in this story. 2 because of the thin air book comment, which I didn't even get.

W...t...f

Don't you just hate those bastards that rate your stories 6 for no reason?

Well I'm rating you a ten, because this has long been one of my favorites on the site. Came upon it again by looking at a random story. Wondered why it had a 7.7 instead of a 9-10. Good job man.

Amazing. It has potential. Send me a message if you decide to keep going on it! :)

Several very-strapped gang members asssume this is a threat to their gang territory and light you up like a christmas tree on crack.

And "Sheep dying faster than farmers raping them" or something.

Good stuff. Finish the story please!

What heck is that?

Let me get this straight- my dad set it up? He got a bunch of enraged monkeys into the basement?

It had potential, but all the rooms are done. Without the randomness I might have rated this an 8.

Too little rooms to be considered a story.

What exactly am I reading? A plethora of grammatical errors is an understatement >_> Good idea though, try again when you can get uh, better... skill

Very good! :)

I'd give it a 8, but -1 point for grammar.

Still a great story.

This story needs 5 things
1. A plot.
2. Humor.
3. Grammar
4. Longer rooms
5. More rooms

Words cannot express how great I think this story is. An incredible idea with incredible potential. I just hope you finish it, and, perhaps make a sequel. Or at least the same idea with someone else. ^_^ Awesome work, dude. Only a few typos that didn't detract from the story at all. But then again it IS you we're talking about. So good work, again!

BOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Wow, the guy you were bashing gave you a 10. Would irony be the right word? -ponders-

Why did I give this story a 1?
Because A. It sucked
B. You MAKE us go to hell
C. You tried to cheat the rating system.
I have half a mind to create ten new accounts and stalk this story, rating it 1 over and over again.

Because everyone else is doing it.
Honestly, that... was... just...
2 only because grammar didn't suck.
But yes, if I care nothing about watching sports in real life why... on earth... would I want to read this? Why would anyone want to read this when it's a set small story instead of the almostanythingcanhappen story on the field?
Well not really.
You get my point I hope. Write a new story. NOT revolving around sports.

Not bad! Try to make it longer next time though ^_^

I dislike this story as well.

Damn it, I always knew shiny objects were trouble.

Good job, man.

4, and I'm being very, VERY generous. It has potential, but you need to work on spelling and grammar, and, well, everything.

Stories with one sentence-two sentences per room will most likely get a rating of under 3, bad grammar will subtract 1-2 points.
Remember this, grasshopper.

This story has potential- but it appears to be simply a combination of a good idea and a bad way to put it.
The one sentence rooms are a surefire way to get you 1s and 2s, but I'm giving you a 3 because it looks like SOME effort went into this.
BANG you dead- or something like that- that's what the worst writers on the site write.
Look at the security tapes! And it's you on them- that's an excellent idea.
To put it simply, expand the story and don't settle for writing anything less than your full potential. Make rooms into paragraph form and spell check (It sounds illeagle but that's not the way you spell it- it's illegal) and you could have a great story.

I look forward to any future work you may do, if it is improved. Welcome to the site. (If you are new)

Hun, please try for grammar and a story with an actual plot/more than one sentence per room.

I was going to give you a 6, but the story didn't develop enough for my tastes- I thought it'd keep going and you might even reach a 7 for my rating but it stopped too abruptly. Who is the character you are playing?
I was just getting interested in the identity of the 4 men when it ended. Try and elaborate, make rooms longer, but other than that you had some very interesting ideas! I loved the 'YOU'RE RIGHT! If the question was what was the wrong answer."

Some very clever lines you had in your story. Try again, I look forward to more of your work!

This story HAD potential. Playing the part of a cop who chases a robber or the actual robber. With paragraphs and character development, it could have become a good story. Unfortunately, it was far too simple and you misspelled you're a million times.

Come on now. If you want higher ratings, you should try... trying. Make paragraphs and use grammar. Look up how words are spelled. Make a plot that is interesting to follow. Don't have every option with the girl you see on the road say SHE'S A VAMPIRE

Points off for grammar. I remember reading this and it was okay, so you get an 8- 1 point for grammar/spelling.

Congratulations! Your first rating!

Amazing, absolutely amazing. Thank you for telling me how girls work, I will keep that in mind so I am not decapitated in the future for saying the wrong thing.

Wow... I am surprised I am giving this a 7, given the lack of story, complete randomness and...
Oh who am I kidding, I am amazed I'm not giving this a 10, because of the awesome randomness!

Buuut I have to be fair. It was good, but it could have been a bit more detailed or longer. Still, a fun read, and I loved the repeat line 'Screw you, you can go outside and play if you want, but I'm going to watch TV, BITCH!'
And all the different responses to it.
I laughed out loud when the response was 'What? That didn't even make sense!' Or something. ^^
Oh what the heck, you get an 8. Thanks for the laugh.

What the hell? All three options for starting in Kanto end up having a Meowth steal your Pokemon. Faiiil. ._.

Read above reviews. Study. Learn. Rejoice.

Infinite-story.com is a place where people like to go to read stories... not shouted almost indecipherable gibberish.

This story is quite funny at times but annoying at others. You need to work a LOT more on your writing but I'm going to give you a break and up your rating of this story a tiny bit. You should make a few better endings and elaborate more, though.

Too bad they don't have a 0 rating. :/ Listen, look at the above reviews. Cruel as they may sound, they are right. ._.

It is a somewhat good story, but you don't ever find out more about the 'item' besides the fact that it is a girl, there are too many plot holes, and very few endings are satisfying. The story needs to be developed a lot more.

Only because the 'slap the cigarette out of his hand' was funny

I like this story, but I'm rating it low because of Snoopy making that sad ending where the only way you get to be with your girlfriend is when you die on the next page ._.

It has potential, that's for sure. But you need a few things. Grammar is one. Also you should really make a story you can handle finishing. I had that mistake myself- but my story was much more vast and had grammar so I got a good rating. Try again, you have potential if you use it.

I'll give this a 6, and I'm being generous. I'd give it higher if it were a lot more detailed and a little funnier.

I can't read this. It would be too hard to understand and although i'm not sure if it has a good plot or not, having only one sentence per page makes someone lose interest very quickly. Work on your grammar, add more stuff to your work and give the story a real feel to it to draw people in. THEN you'll be a infinite-story writer that people will love. Until then, do your best!

Impressive, impressive... I added my two cents. Yes, you're a great writer, i'll give you that. But even this story is somewhat funny, and you were trying to make it suck. Which says a lot.
My hat's off to you (if I were wearing one.)

Very entertaining, even though you have a few typos. Keep working on it, I was dissapointed when I found out that it wasn't finished!

Somewhat entertaining, needs a lot of work though.

All my writers instincts say that this story sucks- not great grammar all the time, plotline isn't driven, too short- but I liked the feel to it. Work a bit harder and I think you can make some good work.

Normally i'd give it a lower score, but Apoth is right- it does have a nice touch to it. The problem is the other fact- that it is basically a short story, not a choose your own adventure type.

You need better grammar man- and more than one sentence for each room.

Alright, alright, you've probably got to feel pretty good having so many perfect 10s, but man oh man you deserve them. Awesome story.

Grammar needs to be severely edited. Not all words have to be capitalized. Also, the story was difficult to figure out what on earth was going on.

Ugh. Now i'm not just rating one because 'everybody's doing it'

You just need... to take a writing class, a poetry class, finish a good portion of school, a grammar class...

No hard feelings, but man... if this is Gangsta Life, write one about real life and i'll rate that. If it's the same quality, my point stands.

There is only one main path to take on the story, so it's not even an infinite-story until you work harder on it... also you need much more detail, it's much too short and unsatisfying.

I'll give you an 8 for a first-timer. My suggestion is to work on the frame of the story, as apoth said, as well as the fact that I found choosing one case only lets you look the case up online, not do anything about it. There is no way to resolve the case. I'd say delete some rooms and change the options. Otherwise, good work for someone new here.

Wow, wow, wow. Let me do apotheosis's rating system.
You start out with a 10.
-4 for grammar
- 2 for pointlessness
+1 because... because i'm nice
-7 because the endings are terrible
Your overall score!
-drumroll-
0

You need to work on the story a lot more. Also, it's Sasuke, not Saskue.

You need to keep working on it man. But good job!

Amazing, man. Truly astounding.

Okay... no choices...?