EndMaster

Time has passed and now I am a cruel tyrannical overlord of said CYS fucktards.

And to think, I hesitated.

Guess I hit a little too close to home for Marissa who obviously is a product of incest. Sorry the story stirred up bad memories for you. Lol.

There's potential here. Would be higher if some of the paths were fleshed out better.

Definitely a lot of work went into this and it probably should've rated higher in the contest.

Wouldn't mind seeing this finished one day. Probably won't happen, but anything's possible I suppose.

CYSers are a bunch of fucktards.

Come and get me bitches. LOL

Heh. Well that is certainly one way of looking at it.

Lol.

I didn't see you giving any credit in the description and I checked the stats page when I first found the story. Now its possible I missed it the first time, but I doubt it.

We've had people on here before trying to pass off work from other places as their own (and their original angry owners yelling at everyone when they find out) so when something like this pops up, its sort of a big deal.

In any case credit or not, I'm not sure why you're posting someone else's work on here, unless you're a close personal friend of the original author or something. But if you really wanted to share it that badly with everyone you should've just posted a link on the forums to it. That way you could've avoided all this.

Way to plagiarize fucktard.

Do I even need to say any more? You know what you did because the original is right here:

http://www.jerking.com/

I think she was referring to you rating your own story a 10.

It probably shocked her that you would resort to such tactics, but to the rest of us that have known you since the old days, its not really a new thing to see you being a cheating bastard.

I thought I'd rated this before, I remember mentioning it on the forums. Well no time like the present.

Once again the comments have been funny enough for me to bump up the rating one point.

A better title would've been "It's boring yet retarded at the same time..."

At first glance, I thought the title was "Pretty Princess (Beaten up IN a pink dress" Probably would've been more amusing if that had actually been the subject.

Horrible story, but shadowmist's rants at emily made me laugh.

One of the better collaborative efforts on this site. Too bad Morathi and NCPolice aren't still around.

This one was always a good one, would've been cool if Ghost had stuck around to work on it a bit more though.

I remember when this was submitted in the IWT6 everyone was bashing it a bit, probably due to it being more like a game. I think it does that aspect as well as it can with the tool that are available here, but it's still really cumbersome.

Still, I can't smash the story too much since I know Cat's a good writer and I know she worked hard on this.

Hit the submit button too soon. Anyway I meant to add, I wish there were some more branches finished or extended.

Another good story by Dan.

Wow, "moron" and "loser"? That was the best he could come up with? I'm disappointed, considering I have heard snappier come backs from him. Though I guess the fucktard was still too intimidated to form a proper retort! Lol!

How's it going, Bill? Huh?

(Couldn't resist)

Testing the new comments section.

I think the word you're looking for is WINcest!

Oh I knew your identity a long time ago. Of course you'll still have to kill anyone else who stumbles on to these comments now.

-End Master

Bit linear in places, but a worthy addition to the romance selection.

This is a pretty good addition to our mystery/crime selection. The only thing that I have issue with it how you handled the "your name" bit. It doesn't come up a lot, but it's distracting when it does.

The best way to usually handle it is to just give the protagonist an actual name, or whenever someone asks the protagonist what their name is, you write something like "you tell them your name."

In cases when where someone is addressing the protagonist, you can easily work around it, one way is by them calling the protagonist something like "pal, friend, jerk, etc." or just going straight into the conversation.

I remember this one being pretty amusing. I wish this one was finished or even a little more added on to it.

This was a cool story. Probably won't happen, but if you happen to return one day, I wouldn't mind reading more.

Once again some overly offended idiots in this section and the other comments section make dumb ass remarks about "perverted pictures." Christ, there isn't even anyone naked to even qualify as "perverted" let alone something like a picture of a double amputee midget fucking dead goat. Fucking prudes.

And the title "Vixen Manor" should've tipped off the easily offended to not fucking read the damn story in the first place.

Anyway, it's sort of a random story that should've had more structure and description, but it's one of the better sex related stories we have on here.

If you're going to make a story insulting the reader and trying to be offensive, it has to be funny. You can't just vomit on the screen and call it comedy. Well, actually that might be slightly more amusing than this story.

In short, the next time you feel the urge to type in a bunch of misspelled swear words, go back to your NAMBLA chatroom.

Hmm, a few women really didn't like this one. One overly sensitive poppet in the other comments section (and arrogantly speaking for all the other women on the site) said that a story about disrespecting women and date rape weren't funny.

If this was actually a story about such things, I'd probably give this story a higher rating. However, the story is more about some loser that is desperately trying to get a girl and failing for the most part. As far as the writing goes, it just sucks, there's no description or even comical banter to make it funny.

I'll give it a couple extra points though because it pissed off a few overly emotional girls who read way more into this shitty story than everyone else did.

Normally I'd rate something like this lower, but given how much you put into this thing with the internal links and such, it deserves a few extra points.

While it looks like a lot of time and effort was put into the story, the problem I'm having is that it follows the video game a little too closely, like you just wrote in the description text from the game and posted screen shots without the text. You might as well have just posted a "Let's play Shadowgate" thread if you were going to do that.

However, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt since my memory is foggy on the game (Been a long time since I played it) and I can't actually see any text copying from the screenshots that I've seen on mobygames. (Though maybe you were smart enough to check that site first!) If I was really feeling ambitious I suppose I'd watch a youtube longplay of it or download the game and check that way, but quite frankly that's too much bother and it's not that serious.

Anyway, good work if it was all original writing. Good con job, if you fooled everybody. Either way you get an 8.

While the lack of description holds this one back a bit, it still manages to be amusing here and there. There aren't any other stories about clueless Amish protagonists on this site (as far as I know) so it's at least a little different.

This seemed like it should've been listed under romance rather than humor, but then maybe it just wasn't my brand of humor. I probably liked the "Taurus curse" path the best.

Anyway I can't fault the effort put into this and the detail even if most of the story didn't grab me.

See, if some more effort had been put into this story, it could've been a lot better. There certainly are some humourous bits here (well to me anyway) but the lack of description for most of the pages subtract a few points.

Anyway, it still exceeded my expectations.

I guess it isn't the worst story on the site.

I'll give it an extra point since I think one the contributors mentioned in their profile to go easy on them.

This was an okay story and there was enough to keep me entertained. My only major complaint would be the emoticons placed in the various endings of the story or in the choices. Use them all you like on a forum or chatroom, but they detract from story writing, unless you're trying to purposely emulate a chatroom in your story.

This is one I read a long time ago when some fucktard plagerist was trying to portray this work as his own.

Anyway, I'll rate this what I did last time. It certainly deserves it.

I remember reading this one a long time ago, and I probably would rate this one higher if it hadn't been for the boring crossroad stuff. The rest of it was done well.

I guess I didn't find it quite as funny as everyone else did, but it was still a well written story and a lot of effort was put into it.

Been awhile since I've bother rating a story, but given that this is the "first one" I figure I should finally get around to rating it.

This one suffers from a lot of randomness and bad writing or minimalist writing such as getting tons of pages with only about 3 or 4 words on them.

Anyway Hall of Infinite Doors has done a better job at doing what this one set out to do since it relies on a little structure at least.

Still it gets a few points for being the first and inspiring Apoth's hilarious obsessive mad quest to beat the damn thing in size and hits.

"PredatorKing of Fucktards" doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about and is obviously still butthurt about the time when all those shitty facepunch stories were rightfully rated low.

I still say jeff didn't know what the hell he was talking about as far as this story was concerned, this was WAY funnier than Ebay and had more of a storyline as well.

Milianotus is a fucktard who obviously didn't get it. The protagonist is a fucking villian (Should've been pretty obvious with the title and first few pages) and doing evil things are going to be the choices. If you didn't want to be a "sick conqueror" (Lol at your sensitivity) you shouldn't have been reading it in the first place.

Well thanks, and glad to see that you didn't commit suicide after reading it, like the other reader apparently did. Lol.

This is your funniest story ever!

Again, this is late because I've only just read this, but...

Hey dipshit, I put up a fucking WARNING on the fist damn page!

With Death Song you had a slightly more valid excuse for whining, but with this one you went ahead and ignored the fucking warning and bitched about something you knew was going to offend you.

Again, you're either a masochist or a fucking moron.

Whether I'm an " evil sadist" or not really isn't the issue here, since I gave fair warning beforehand. You got nobody but yourself to blame for this one fucktard.

Glad you liked the story. Lol.

This is probably a bit late, since I only just now checked this (You should've posted this comment with the rating section) but why the fuck would you continue to read something that obviously upset you so much?

There can only be three conclusions:

You're either
a fucktard.
an emo masochist.
both.

Your dysfunctions aside, this story is actually a parallel story to Necromancer, so if you read that, you'd understand why this story is the way it is. Plus this story was for a "From Hell" contest so again, there was supposed to be hopelessness and dispair in it.

Anyway, your emo rant about me being evil was entertaining so thanks for amusing me. This was a nice surprise.

And really what the hell would've been so bad about Sauron winning? Burn those fucking hobbit homes and elven forests to the ground I say!

Didn't this story have a shitload of ratings before?

Not bad, but space out some paragraphs to make your story easier to read next time.

Furries.

Of course this story doesn't really have furries in it, but it still sucks as much as they do.

No plot, no structure, and no signs that you have any intelligence at all!

Congrats, you've failed at life!

Forgot to rate this. Here's your ten for the accurate portrayal of Crackheads.

Let it be known to all who read this piece of literature that this story was written not for fame, or glory and definitely not for money.

No, this story was written...

FOR GREAT JUSTICE!

Ha ha, very funny DEP.

Always thought this one was underrated. Definitely another good one to work on when you have time.

I never really got into this one for some reason, but a lot of effort was put into it and it's better than most stories on the site.

Well you know me, I'm not a big fan of Fanfic, but this was one of the exceptions to the rule. Good job.

Nope, this monkey still didn't write Shakespeare. He just flung a bunch of crap at the keyboard and this was the result.

Bad monkey!

The amusing thing about this story, is this was probably considered one of the "shocking" stories at the time when it came out. Now it's sort of tame compared some of the other stories we have on the site. (Unless people are going to make dirtier additions to it)

Anyway I'm pretty sure this concept was based on an old Japanese video game. I guess it achieved its purpose though.

This story was sort of the first "game like" story on the site that was actually completed in a timely manner. Morathi also took the time to actually illustrate all 255 rooms. Definitely not a task for the impatient.

The writing isn't bad its just sort of "meh" and bland. Plus you're not really traveling too much, most of it is in the town, and you're not really fighting tons of monsters so the "epic" feel really isn't there.

However the main purpose of this story was to be a "game" and a lot of effort was obviously put into that goal, so I'm judging it more by that and it gets a respectable rating.

You should work on this story some more. I'd like to see where the other branches would lead.

I always wished this one had been a lot more structured, since there's a lot of potential, but of course the writing's going to vary when public access is allowed.

Still this one of the better public collaboration stories and I liked most of it.

This sucked OMFG LOL!

This definitely one of the funniest stories on here, always felt it should be listed as humor rather than drama, but either way, it gets a high score from me.

I think I'll give this a slightly higher score just solely for the fact that it allowed Chubby to tell a short anecdote about gay guys hitting on him which was way more amusing than the actual story.

Well I suppose the fact that the story ends on the first page is a plus, since it prevents us from being subjected to anymore of it.

Not sure why this is getting rated so low, It's not really bad and it's one of the better Romance stories we have on here.

Infinite Story 4 Life!

I liked the detail in this story, plus the whole theme is cool. My attention was definitely kept. You should add more to this.

Hmm, I see that Princess Michael is PMSing again, well I guess I'll balance out his mood swing...

I read this awhile back, but of course that was in my non-rating days. Good job another 9 for you!

For some reason, this went on a long time without being rated.

It's an average story, just sort of didn't "grab me" I guess.

Hey this is better than you think Jesta, I mean you really can't go wrong with dying in a dryer.

Stick figures rule! Woo hoo!

Anyway, this has the potential to be cool, if you work on it.

Okay, first thing you need to do is to fix the first page; I nearly quit reading it because you had everything running together. Space out some paragraphs every now and then.

The rest of it has similar problems as the first page. (Not as bad though) So some points are docked because of this.

The story is fine though.

This is actually a good one to put into the romance section, we don't have a lot of those and it would really fill it out! Ha ha, anyway good work, look forward to reading more.

Well since I'm rating this like a regular story, (Rather than a children's story) I'll give you a few more points.

Inuyasha? You fail.

This is a good concept, so try to work on it if you can.

Another good one from the Mango of Funk (As DEP would say)

Well I commented on this story in the forums when we had this contest so I won't bother here, but it's not as bad as you thought it was.

Sort of on the average side. Work on it.

I think you mislabeled this story in the "humor section" but unfortunately we don't have a "crap section" for you to put this in, so you're getting the appropriate rating.

Really good, and you beat Legend in getting it completed! Of course you did have a head start!

I know you've been waiting for this for a long time from me, (Must've even kept you up some nights!) so here's your 10 from me.