Tale of the Divine Ursine

"I see," hissed the king, making no effort to mask his irritation, "that my brave Sir Bear and noble Squire Cluckphrey have returned to me in due haste indeed. Tell me, did the ravening Wolflords turn tail and run the instant they laid eyes upon the fearsome vision of a chicken in chainmail? Or was it just their naptime?"

Bear suddenly regretted disappointing his king. This time it was his gulp heard round the Great Hall.

"My Lord, I do beseech you. I made this decision for myself and my squire, when I discovered that such a task as venturing into the Haunted Hills without an infantry of brave defenders was naught but a fool's errand. I beg your Lordship to allow us to reconsider our task. If I do remember, there were other options you offered us, begging Your Lordship's pardon, of course."

The king sighed with resignation.

"Very well," he said. "You may choose to do otherwise. But allow me to warn you, Sir Bear and Squire Cluckphrey, that should you disappoint me one more time, it will be your heads atop matching spears at the portcullis gate! Do not come back craven or empty-handed, or you shall find yourselves quite suddenly bereft of a few pounds of weight, or, in the chicken's case, of a few useless feathers and cotton stuffing!"

He was positively roaring by the end of this speech, obliging Bear and Cluckphrey to fall to their knees in timorous submission.

"Yes, My Lord," said Sir Bear. "N-n-now we shall leave you im-m-m-mmediately to go and..."