World Domination
You amble down to the Adelaide Oval for the Third Test of the summer between Australia and the West Indies. It's 40 degrees Celsius, and a full house is sweating over every ball.
In between watching the grass grow a couple of millimetres, you notice Clive Lloyd hit a ton not out from just ninety-nine balls, and David Boon trip over a seagull at silly mid-on. On your radio, you hear the commentator explain Boonie's long running bet, that if he ever gets a wicket, he'll wear a miniskirt to the post-match piss-up. You dismiss this as an antipodean fantasy, and go back to watching the grass grow.
In the end, the West Indies win by an innings and 23 runs, and you go home feeling most unpatriotic.
Vocabulary:
cricket - British sport played with a dangerously hard ball, required to be thrown windmill-style at a man armed with nothing but a flat wooden stick and pillows tied around his knees
ton - achieved when the man with the stick runs up and down a 22 yard path 100 times
piss-up - casual social event organised for no reason, other than for everyone to get inexcusably drunk
win by an innings - to get all the opposition batsmen out TWICE, for a combined score of less than your team scored in its first attempt. (This kind of lop-sided result is common in cricket!)
In between watching the grass grow a couple of millimetres, you notice Clive Lloyd hit a ton not out from just ninety-nine balls, and David Boon trip over a seagull at silly mid-on. On your radio, you hear the commentator explain Boonie's long running bet, that if he ever gets a wicket, he'll wear a miniskirt to the post-match piss-up. You dismiss this as an antipodean fantasy, and go back to watching the grass grow.
In the end, the West Indies win by an innings and 23 runs, and you go home feeling most unpatriotic.
Vocabulary:
cricket - British sport played with a dangerously hard ball, required to be thrown windmill-style at a man armed with nothing but a flat wooden stick and pillows tied around his knees
ton - achieved when the man with the stick runs up and down a 22 yard path 100 times
piss-up - casual social event organised for no reason, other than for everyone to get inexcusably drunk
win by an innings - to get all the opposition batsmen out TWICE, for a combined score of less than your team scored in its first attempt. (This kind of lop-sided result is common in cricket!)