Cody Christano: The Life of an American Scum Bucket

You head over to your next door neighbor and angrily pound on the door. Maybe Mr. and Mrs. Javoney saw who stole your bike. You wait a few seconds and then knock on the door again. Wait a few seconds, ring the doorbell. You ring the doorbell three more times, then knock on the door three more times. You are getting pissed. You know they are both home, their cars are in the driveway. They must be ignoring you because you are scum and took a dump on their rose bushes because you have irritable bowel syndrome and locked yourself out of your own house that one time.

Thats no reason to ignore someone, you think angrily. These old fogies know where your bike is they are just holding out! Whats a scum bag to do?