~*articulate what forever smoulders*~

After being made to wait in a small blue room for about half an hour, you are not feeling very happy. That is, until a nice-looking policeman with a very reassuring smile enters the room. "Hi there," he grins, "I'm Constable McGilly. I'm here to ask you a couple of questions." You nod at him, unsure of what to say in this uncomfortable situation. Pressing RECORD on the dictaphone he is holding, Constable McGilly sits down across from you. "So, what was your name?", he asks. You reply, "Um, Thomas Coupland." "OK," the constable continues, jotting it down in his notebook, "and your middle name?" You turn slightly pink and, looking away, say to the wall, "Cummerbund". The constable stifles a giggle and asks you to look at him. "Cummerbund? What kind of a name is that?" he smirks. You look him straight in the eye and reply: