Bet You Can't Kill Yourself

You crawl into the large incinerator. You gough profusely as you inhale the ash. You slightly wretch at the thought of what that ash was. You reach the main area of the furnace and realize that it is not turned on. You crawl back out the way you came but the door doesn't open from this direction. You sit in the dark dank chamber all night until an old woman comes down with a broom to clean the area. You are so glad to see her you yell out. You are covered head to toe in soot from falling asleep. The woman thinks you are a ghost and starts beating you with the broom. She chases you all the way out into the waiting arms of 300 officers who were attending a funeral of a fallen comrade.