Highway Star

Act 5 scene 1


At an interstate rest area. Phill is laying down, his back against the top of a picnic table, his legs dangling over. Tims on the ground in front of the table while Lori sits on a bench at the side. Four duffel bags lay on the ground near them. Various people cross the screen intermittently. Lori rubs her temples.

Lori:

This is the worst headache I have ever had my life.
Tim:

Hanging out in the rain all night will do that to you.
Lori:

Well it wasn't my choice. I'm just glad you remembered the bags. If I couldn't have changed out of those clothes I probably would have gotten pneumonia.
Tim:

But what are we going to do with Eddys shit?
Lori:

I don't know. It's too bad he got busted.
Tim:

Yeah. (Tim nods.)
Lori:

But it kind of serves him right for junking my car.
Tim:

I hate to break it to you, Lori, but your car was at it's end anyway. I thought you would have had a better ride with your uncle being Lou Marzetti.
Lori:

My uncle was murdered. Some "punk kid" did it. That's all anyone will tell me. I wasn't exactly driving away in his Lexus or anything. I wanted to be as inconspicuous as I could manage, you know?
Tim:

I hear you, I hear you.
Lori:

Oh well.
Tim:

Everything should be better in California.
Lori:

But what are we going to do when we get there?
Tim: Chill on the beach. (Lori laughs a little then rubs her head.)
Lori:

Oh... My fucking head...
Tim:

Even considering what you've told me, you could have had a better car than that... (Lori stands up.)
Lori:

I'm going to see if I can score any aspirin.
Tim:

Good luck. (Lori walks off to the rest-stop visitors. Begging for aspirin.)
Tim:

It's been three days since we split with Eddy. We've been walking all day. We came across this rest stop and figured we could chill here and try for a ride. No luck for the last hour. (Lori has returned. She holds a random Aspirin brand sample packet in her hand.)
Lori:

Now I'm going to the vending machines. Do you want anything?
Tim:

Yeah. Get me a Pepsi and a Snickers.
Lori:

All right. And Phill? (She nudges Phill.) I'll get you a Pepsi.
Tim:

Later on. (Lori exits again, wandering off in the direction of the vending machines. Tim takes a cigarette pack out of Phills shirt pocket. He takes a cigarette, and sets the box on Phills belly. Tim lights a cigarette.)
Tim:

Phill passed out the moment we got here. He just kind of fell on the table. He said he would "nap" while we tried for a ride. (Smoke.) We haven't even started hitching yet. We're letting him get a little rest. (Smoke.) He gets to be an asshole when he doesn't sleep enough. (Tim looks at Phill.) He's in a deep sleep, too. It usually takes him a while to sleep, but today he just dropped dead... (Tim's face turns to mock worry. Smokes.) I don't think he's breathing. (Pushes the lit end of his cigarette down on Phills hand. Phill jolts forward, cigarette pack flying.)
Phill:

Ooooooow!! What the fuck?!?
Tim:

Well. That's certainly reassuring.
Phill

: What the hell was that for?!
Tim:

I was only checking on you, man.
Phill:

Mother fucker. (Phill punches Tim in the arm very hard.)
Tim:

Ow! (Tim rubs his arm, while Phill hold his burned hand.) That was completely unnecessary, Phill.
Phill:

Give me my cigarettes.
Tim:

No. (Points at Phill.) I'm not so sure I trust you. There is much malice in your eyes.
Phill:

You're damn right there is! What were you doing this time?! Hoping we could catch a ride if one of us needs immediate medical attention?!
Tim:

I though you died, man. (Tim hits his cigarette.) Damn it, Phill! You fucking ruined this cigarette!
Phill:

How's that?
Tim: You got your knuckle hair all over my cigarette. (Flicks the cigarette away.)
Phill:

You could have just asked me, you know.
Tim:

Asked you what?
Phill: If I was alive.
Tim:

That's just a stupid question.
Phill:

It's more brilliant than burning a hole in my hand!
Tim:

If I would have asked. You wouldn't have answered.
Phill:

Assuming I was dead? (Tim nods.)
Tim:

But you were only sleeping.
Phill:

That was my point.
Tim:

No. I think you were making some other point.
Phill:

So you figured I could have been sleeping? (Tim shrugs a little.
Tim:

Well, yeah. I mean I'm not stupid.
Phill:

Then why the fuck did you burn my hand?! (Silence. Tim looks dumb.)
Tim:

I... Uh... (Looks around a little.) You know Lori went on a run for some snacks and sodas. She should be back anytime now... (Points.) Oh look. Here she comes now. (She is, in fact, but a dozen steps from them and walking their way. Enter Lori.)
Lori:

They didn't have Pepsi, and they didn't have Snickers. So I grabbed Cokes and a Yoo-hoo bar. (Hands a Coke and a Yoo-hoo bar to Tim. She gives Phill a Coke.)
Phill:

Thanks.
Tim:

What the fuck is a Yoo-hoo bar?!
Lori:

I don't know. I've just never seen one and felt I should try it.
Phill:

Ever had the drink?
Tim: Yeah... So this is frozen?
Lori: They're not even cold, Tim.
Tim:

It doesn't feel like Yoo-hoo.
Phill:

Is it just the drink in a new wrapper?
Lori:

Quit! Quit with the speculation! Just open it up and have a look.
Tim:

All right. (Stretches his arms out, holding the Yoo-hoo bar away from his face and looking away, he opens the package. Nothing drastic happened, he just holds the Yoo-hoo bar in his hand. He faces the bar and takes a bite from it, chews it for a while and spits it out.)
Tim:

My God!! This is horrible!! This is the most revolting thing I have ever tasted in my entire life!! Were you attempting to assassinate me, Lori?! Is that what it was? What the fuck were you trying to accomplish here?! Ugh! (Spits again.)
Lori:

Let me try it. (Tim hands her the Yoo-hoo bar.)
Tim:

Here. Fuck, you can keep it. (Lori takes a bite of it.)
Lori:

It's not bad at all. It kind of tastes like a Yoo-hoo... but not quite. (Hands it to Phill.)
Phill:

I like Yoo-hoo. (Takes a bite.) It definitely claims Yoo-hoo decendancy.
Tim:

Enough with the rat poisoned drenched Yoo-hoo bar!
Phill:

I happened to have enjoyed it.
Lori:

So did I.
Tim:

What the fuck is this?! Some sort of Yoo-hoo commercial?!
Phill:

(Radio announcer voice.) Which proves that two out of three hitchhikers enjoy the satisfying taste of a Yoo-hoo bar. (The three laugh.)
Lori:

Should we start hitch hiking?
Phill:

Already? (Looks at his watch.) Oh man. I was out for a while.
Lori:

Practically dead. (Phill gets up.)
Phill:

All right. Let's roll.
Lori:

What the hell happened to your hand?!
Phill:

Fire Marshal Bill was checking my pulse with a lit cigarette.
Tim:

I thought he was dead!
Lori:

Did you have to burn him?
Phill:

That was my point. And this is what he comes up with.
Tim:

How else was I to know if he was alive or not?
Lori:

Well, maybe it'll be easier to get a ride now that you're hurt. (They begin to walk slowly towards the parked cars, speaking as they do.)
Tim:

So if we can't get a ride for three, what's the plan?
Phill:

Three exits up. Find a Sunshine hotel and check in.
Lori:

If there's no Sunshine?
Tim: There's always a Sunshine.
Phill:

If, for some bizarre reason, there is no Sunshine hotel, find the nearest gas station/convenience store and hang out. We'll meet there. (Tim and Lori nod.)
Phill:

Good luck. Now let's split up. (The three break apart and walk to different areas of the rest stop. We watch in an overhead view as they attempt to obtain rides. An Eddys ice cream truck pulls in and blocks our view. Camera follows the truck as it parks in the semi section of the lot. The semi turns of and out step two men. Trucker, from act 2 scene 1, and Eddy.)
Trucker:

Ah shit. It's good to get a load off.
Eddy:

I think I'm going to get a drink. Do you need anything?
Trucker:

Nah. I'm going to take a shit.
Eddy:

All right, man. I guess I'll see you late. (The two split up, Eddy walking towards the vending machines, the trucker heading for the restrooms. We follow Eddy.)
Eddy:

I don't even know why I'm still going to Cali, except that it's warm. Plus I got a ride through the desert. The truckers cool, too. We smoked a jay. (He walks past Tim and Phill. We stay with Tim and Phill.)
Tim:

Hey Phill. I think I just saw Eddy.
Phill:

Shut the hell up, you're smoking crack. Why don't you concentrate on getting a ride to California?
Tim:

Right. The cars. (Goes back to attempting to hitch a ride. Eddy walks over from behind them and stands behind Phill, just after Phill has been once again denied a ride.)
Eddy:

Say. Are you fellas looking for a ride? (Phill turns around.)
Phill:

Holy shit, Eddy! I thought you went to jail.
Eddy:

What actually happened was kind of amazing. (Lori walks over to them.)
Lori:

Eddy? They said you went to jail for cow tipping.
Eddy:

Well it's funny how that worked out. (Tim joins them.) You see...
Tim:

Fuck an A! Eddy's back! What did you do? You break out of Mayberry?
Eddy:

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Phill:

So how did you get here?
Eddy:

Well. After you guys split-
Phill:

No. I mean... You must've had a ride, right?
Eddy:

Yeah, yeah. Some trucker.
Phill:

Can he give us a ride?
Eddy: Yeah. Probably. He's taking a shit right now. Any way after you guys split-
Phill:

I almost got shot twice. I almost tripped over that cow, too. It was still sliding down the hill when I passed it.
Tim:

I ran back to the barn for our shit. By the way Eddy, we still got your shit. (Eddy nods.) Then I slid down the hill when it started to rain.
Phill:

I can't believe you broke out of jail. (Laughs.) That's insane.
Eddy:

Actually, that didn't happen-
Lori:

I had to hide in a tree until the cops left, and then I went down the hill through the dense wood. That hill was steep.
Eddy:

I didn't break out of jail.
Tim:

Then why the fuck did you say that?!
Eddy:

I didn't. You did. I haven't had the chance to speak yet.
Lori:

Then how did you make it out here?
Eddy: Well. I'll tell you... (He looks dreamy as we begin fading into a flashback.) I remember it as though it happened just yesterday.
Tim:

It fucking was yesterday!
Eddy:

Would you just let me talk!?
Lori:

Why don't you save it for tonight? We have to worry about getting a ride now.
Eddy:

We got a ride. I'm telling you, the trucker will give us all a ride as soon as he finishes taking his shit.
Lori:

Well I'm still mad about that car thing, so I don't feel like hearing it now.
Eddy:

You're still mad about that?!
Lori:

You're damn right I am. You completely destroyed my car! Did you think I'd be over it so soon?
Eddy:

I don't know. Kind of. I though it might have just been a menstrual thing.(Enter Trucker.)
Trucker:

Are you about ready, Eddy?
Eddy:

Uh... Yeah. Hey, remember those friends of mine we were watching for on the highway?
Trucker: Yeah.
Eddy:

Well these are them.
Trucker:

No shit?
Eddy:

Can you give them a ride too?
Trucker:

Sure, sure. But I have to tell you... Hey. Didn't I give you boys a ride once before?
Phill:

Yeah, you did.
Trucker:

That's weird coming back across you. I have room up front for three of you. The fourth person has to stay in the back with the ice cream.
Phill:

I'll sit in the back.
Trucker:

Fine then. Just let me know when you all are ready.
Phill:

Just let me grab the duffel bags, and I'll be ready. (Phill walks over to the table at which they had earlier sat, and grabs the four duffel bags. Trucker lets him into the back as the others climb in up front. The door to the back closes.)
End Scene