Highway Star
Act 3 scene 2
In a restaurant. Tim and Eddy sit at a table eating chicken dinners ravenously.
Tim:
Excellent chicken.
Eddy:
The best I've had in a long while. That's probably due to it being free. Food tastes so much better when you don't have to pay for it or prepare it. (Enter Waitress. She has care in her eyes, a woman full of sympathy.)
Waitress:
Is there anything else I can get you guys?
Eddy:
Oh certainly not. You've been most kind as it is.
Tim:
This meal didn't come from your pocket, did it?
Waitress:
Not exactly. It only cost me one dollar. Everyone working today pitched in a buck or so for your meals. (Then she speaks very loudly) Everyone except Dirty Jimmy.
Dirty Jimmy
(From off screen.): Hey screw you! (Waitress turns to face the assumed kitchen behind her.)
Waitress:
Fuck you, Dirty Jimmy! You don't have a shred of decency in you!
Dirty Jimmy
(Still off screen.): Fucking bitch.
Waitress:
I hope you fucking die, Jimmy! You're an asshole! I hope you fucking die!! (Dirty Jimmy mumbles something incoherent. Waitress redirects her attention back to Tim and Eddy.)
Waitress:
You're sure I can't get you anything else?
Eddy:
No my dear, no. You done so much already, and God bless you for it.
Tim:
Let everyone who pitched in know that we're grateful.
Waitress:
I will. If any of you think of something you need, just call me over.
Tim:
All right.
Eddy:
Thank you.
Waitress:
Enjoy your meals. (Waitress exits.)
Eddy:
It's good to know that people with good hearts are out there.
Tim:
Don't you think we should pay for it? I mean this came out of their pockets.
Eddy:
We can't pay. Paying would ruin everything we've accomplished. These people have just gained something for their money, a sense of self worth. They feel as though they've done something worthwhile and meaningful for once. Should we rob them of this?
Tim:
I guess you're right.
Eddy:
You see? Our dependency on others generosity actually does provide a service. (Phill and Lori enter the restaurant. Phill holds a Styrofoam cup in his hand. The two look around and finally spot Tim and Eddy. They walk over to the table.)
Timmy:
Eddy, these are my friends. Phill, and Lori. (Eddy stands and shakes Phills' hand.)
Eddy:
Pleased to meet you. (Sits back down and continues his consumption of the chicken dinner.)
Phill:
Yeah. I guess. (Hands cup to Tim.) Here. I believe this is yours.
Eddy:
Actually, that's mine. (Eddy takes it from Tims' grasp.)
Phill:
Whose this? Did you make a homeless friend? (Looks at Eddy.) Did he tell you he's not even homeless? (Eddy stops chewing the food. His jaw drops.)
Lori:
Can you believe this shit? (Eddy chews once or twice more and swallows the contents of his mouth in one big swallow.)
Eddy:
He's what? (Faces Tim.) You're not homeless?!
Phill: He's not poor either.
Eddy:
You mean to tell me that all this time he's been collecting money for his own personal gain? (Phill and Lori only nod.) How disgusting. What kind of person could do such a thing? How completely ignorant can someone possibly be?
Phill:
You haven't heard the half of it.
Tim:
You're not homeless either, Eddy. (There is a long uncomfortable silence during which all four of them exchange weird glances.)
Eddy:
Well I suppose that completely defeats my argument.
Lori:
Yeah it does.
Phill:
Are you about ready to go, Tim? (Tim stands.)
Tim: Yeah, actually. It was nice meeting you, Eddy, but the road calls me.
Eddy:
You're going to California, eh?
Phill: Yeah.
Eddy:
Would you guys mind if I tagged along with you? (All exchange glances.)
Phill:
Well...
Eddy:
I mean, I know you don't know me or anything, but I don't have much luggage. And I would graciously add my cash to yours.
Phill:
Don't you have a home?
Eddy:
Kind of, yeah. But no furniture or anything. Besides, rent is getting to high, and I'm not getting high enough.
Tim:
Can't get no shit cause you spent it on rent?
Eddy: No. I keep spending it on bum weed. There's no good shit around here anymore.
Phill:
I see.
Tim:
So what do you think? Can he join us?
Phill:
Actually, it's not my choice. I'm not the one with the car. (All eyes go to Lori.)
Lori:
Well... As long as he splits all the bills, I don't see a problem. (Eddy stands.)
Eddy:
Thank you so much. Shall we depart now? (Everyone begins to walk towards the door.)
Phill:
Has Tim tried to kill you yet, Eddy?
Eddy: No. Why?
Phill:
Then I suggest you watch your back.
Tim:
Have I mentioned how funny Phill can be?
Eddy: No.
Tim:
There's a reason for that. (The four of them exit.)
END SCENE
In a restaurant. Tim and Eddy sit at a table eating chicken dinners ravenously.
Tim:
Excellent chicken.
Eddy:
The best I've had in a long while. That's probably due to it being free. Food tastes so much better when you don't have to pay for it or prepare it. (Enter Waitress. She has care in her eyes, a woman full of sympathy.)
Waitress:
Is there anything else I can get you guys?
Eddy:
Oh certainly not. You've been most kind as it is.
Tim:
This meal didn't come from your pocket, did it?
Waitress:
Not exactly. It only cost me one dollar. Everyone working today pitched in a buck or so for your meals. (Then she speaks very loudly) Everyone except Dirty Jimmy.
Dirty Jimmy
(From off screen.): Hey screw you! (Waitress turns to face the assumed kitchen behind her.)
Waitress:
Fuck you, Dirty Jimmy! You don't have a shred of decency in you!
Dirty Jimmy
(Still off screen.): Fucking bitch.
Waitress:
I hope you fucking die, Jimmy! You're an asshole! I hope you fucking die!! (Dirty Jimmy mumbles something incoherent. Waitress redirects her attention back to Tim and Eddy.)
Waitress:
You're sure I can't get you anything else?
Eddy:
No my dear, no. You done so much already, and God bless you for it.
Tim:
Let everyone who pitched in know that we're grateful.
Waitress:
I will. If any of you think of something you need, just call me over.
Tim:
All right.
Eddy:
Thank you.
Waitress:
Enjoy your meals. (Waitress exits.)
Eddy:
It's good to know that people with good hearts are out there.
Tim:
Don't you think we should pay for it? I mean this came out of their pockets.
Eddy:
We can't pay. Paying would ruin everything we've accomplished. These people have just gained something for their money, a sense of self worth. They feel as though they've done something worthwhile and meaningful for once. Should we rob them of this?
Tim:
I guess you're right.
Eddy:
You see? Our dependency on others generosity actually does provide a service. (Phill and Lori enter the restaurant. Phill holds a Styrofoam cup in his hand. The two look around and finally spot Tim and Eddy. They walk over to the table.)
Timmy:
Eddy, these are my friends. Phill, and Lori. (Eddy stands and shakes Phills' hand.)
Eddy:
Pleased to meet you. (Sits back down and continues his consumption of the chicken dinner.)
Phill:
Yeah. I guess. (Hands cup to Tim.) Here. I believe this is yours.
Eddy:
Actually, that's mine. (Eddy takes it from Tims' grasp.)
Phill:
Whose this? Did you make a homeless friend? (Looks at Eddy.) Did he tell you he's not even homeless? (Eddy stops chewing the food. His jaw drops.)
Lori:
Can you believe this shit? (Eddy chews once or twice more and swallows the contents of his mouth in one big swallow.)
Eddy:
He's what? (Faces Tim.) You're not homeless?!
Phill: He's not poor either.
Eddy:
You mean to tell me that all this time he's been collecting money for his own personal gain? (Phill and Lori only nod.) How disgusting. What kind of person could do such a thing? How completely ignorant can someone possibly be?
Phill:
You haven't heard the half of it.
Tim:
You're not homeless either, Eddy. (There is a long uncomfortable silence during which all four of them exchange weird glances.)
Eddy:
Well I suppose that completely defeats my argument.
Lori:
Yeah it does.
Phill:
Are you about ready to go, Tim? (Tim stands.)
Tim: Yeah, actually. It was nice meeting you, Eddy, but the road calls me.
Eddy:
You're going to California, eh?
Phill: Yeah.
Eddy:
Would you guys mind if I tagged along with you? (All exchange glances.)
Phill:
Well...
Eddy:
I mean, I know you don't know me or anything, but I don't have much luggage. And I would graciously add my cash to yours.
Phill:
Don't you have a home?
Eddy:
Kind of, yeah. But no furniture or anything. Besides, rent is getting to high, and I'm not getting high enough.
Tim:
Can't get no shit cause you spent it on rent?
Eddy: No. I keep spending it on bum weed. There's no good shit around here anymore.
Phill:
I see.
Tim:
So what do you think? Can he join us?
Phill:
Actually, it's not my choice. I'm not the one with the car. (All eyes go to Lori.)
Lori:
Well... As long as he splits all the bills, I don't see a problem. (Eddy stands.)
Eddy:
Thank you so much. Shall we depart now? (Everyone begins to walk towards the door.)
Phill:
Has Tim tried to kill you yet, Eddy?
Eddy: No. Why?
Phill:
Then I suggest you watch your back.
Tim:
Have I mentioned how funny Phill can be?
Eddy: No.
Tim:
There's a reason for that. (The four of them exit.)
END SCENE