Location: Nowhere
Act 2 scene 2
Focus into the living room. Squige and Mikey sit alone on a couch, we join them in mid conversation. Mikey has a few scrapes on him, and appears to be rather muddy on one side of his body.
Mikey: You're so full of shit.
Squige: Nah, man. I'm dead serious. Ten minutes after we went outside, you tried to surf on some ladies car.
Mikey: Shut the fuck up.
Squige: Mikey, I shit you not. You called it traffic surfing. Some lady stopped at a stop sign, and you hopped up on her roof. She floored, all scared and shit, and you stood on it for a while, until she stopped all of a sudden. You landed in someone's yard. And it's a good thing too, if you would have landed on the street, you'd be all fucked up right now. You were out of it, too.
Mikey: Must've been all the brew. (Squige shakes his head.)
Squige: How many did you have?
Mikey: I don't know, like three.
Squige: Then you can dismiss the idea that it was the brew. I'm telling you man, you ate that acid and went nuts. You were all hopping at traffic and shit.
Mikey: I tripped?
Squige: No, man, you got thrown from the car.
Mikey: I mean... I ate acid?
Squige: Yeah. Then you were trying to mount any car that stopped at the stop sign out front. It was some crazy shit.
Mikey: Am I still tripping? (Show a frontal view of Squige staring back at him on the couch. As Squige speaks his face begins to melt, it appears as though his skin is sliding off of his face, his voice sounds as though it is being projected through a tunnel.)
Squige: I don't know. Are you?
[i](Mikey shakes his head and refocuses on reality. He looks back at Squige, to find the face normal again.)
Mikey: I don't know. (There is a pause of silence.) Squige? There's something I've been meaning to ask you...
Squige: Which is...?
Mikey: Where the hell is everybody?
Squige: Lisa and Frank returned a little while after we carried you to the couch. We returned to find Gary and Heather bullshitting in the living room. All of a sudden Vicky thinks she can fly, as though some sort of secret had just been revealed to her. She charges up stairs, heading for the window in Lisa's room. Every one went after her, I guess she planned on soaring out the window. She didn't do it though. I know because I went outside and checked. And I haven't heard a thump on the ground outside. So they either got a hold of her, or the great secrete of flight has truly been revealed to her.
Mikey: Damn. That's fucked up.
Squige: Oh, and Steve wasn't here when we all got back from smoking and dragging your ass up off the neighbors lawn.
Mikey: What happened with Tanya?
Squige: Tanya?
Mikey: Didn't Frank and Lisa go to pick her up?
Squige: Yeah. They picked her up from work, but she was too tired to party, so they just dropped her off at home.
Mikey: Oh. How long ago did Vicky charge up stairs?
Squige: Fifteen minutes ago , or so... No one's come back yet. (Looks up at the ceiling, slightly perplexed.) They haven't really moved for a while either, come to think of it.
Mikey: Why do you suppose that is?
Squige: I don't know. Maybe Vicky did jump, and they're mourning her absence.
Mikey: Or maybe they thought happy thoughts and flew out the window...
Squige: Want to go outside and look for her body? I have another doob for the walk.
Mikey: And quite a long walk it will be. (They both stand up. There is suddenly movement from upstairs. A toilet flushes and Steve walks down the stairs.)
Steve: That was relieving. (He immediately walks over to the keg and fills up a cup, sipping from it.)
Squige: Hey, where's your keg at, Steve?
Steve: In my car. Help yourself to it. (He tosses Squige his keys. Squige snags them from the air and exits out the front door.)
Mikey: What's going on, Steve?
Steve: Not too much... You?
Mikey: Same old, same old. (Steve looks around.)
Steve: What the fuck? Where is everybody?
Mikey: They're all still upstairs I guess, from what Squige tells me. (Squige can be heard from the door, but not seen.)
Squige: Little help.
Mikey: Frank and Lisa came back.
Steve: No shit? Already?
Mikey: Yeah.
Squige (voice only): Little help.
Mikey: I guess Vicky decided she knew how to fly and ran up there. (Steve laughs a bit.)
Steve: Can she?
Mikey: Uh... no.
Squige (Voice only): Little help!!
Steve: So Frank made it, huh? Until I saw him here I didn't even think he was out of rehab.
Mikey: Yeah. He's been out for a week now.
Steve: He stayed clean all that time?
Mikey: Yeah.
Squige(Voice only): Little help!!
Steve: Then it's a good thing he has friends to help him get started back up, eh?
Mikey: Nah. He don't do no heavy shit no more. Just drinks and smokes.
Steve: Smokes pot or cigarettes.
Mikey: Both.
Steve: Is that safe? Smoking pot?
Mikey: It's safer than tobacco and alcohol, since Mary J isn't addictive.
Squige (Voice only): For the love of God, open the fucking door already!! (Mikey walks over to the door and opens it, in walks Squige carrying a deep, blue plastic bucket containing ice and a pony keg.)
Squige: There! Damn. Was that so fucking difficult.?! (Sets the bucket beside the table, in front of the other one. Mikey returns to stand beside Steve. Squige gets a cup and fills it up from the original pony on the table, then walks over to stand beside Mikey. The three of them stare at nothing, and Squige sips the beer in his hand calmly. Steve looks over at him.)
Steve: Is that one about kicked yet?
Squige: About. It should be all foamy soon enough.
Steve: You going to go over there and tap it? (He basically states it, rather than asking. As if ordering Squige to go over there and tap it.)
Squige: Was that a command, bitch?
Steve: What the fuck is your problem?!
Squige: What the fuck is yours?! You wanna go?! (His arms go to his side in an antagonizing fashion.)
Steve: Yeah. Hold on, though. Let me finish my beer. (Squige loosens up, as Steve begins to drain his cup into his throat.)
Squige: I can respect that. (raises his own cup and downs its contents. Squige sets his cup down.)
Steve: It's on now, mother fucker. (Throws his empty cup at Squiges face, then pushes his distracted enemy. The two mock fight each other, throwing powerful "would be" punches at one another, pushing and shoving. Mikey stands and watches as he finishes his beer. He sets the beer down.)
Mikey: That's it! Suffer my wrath! (Mikey joins the fight, immediately shoving Squige into an end table, sending the lamp atop it crashing to the ground. Everyone stops what they are doing and looks at the lamp.)
Mikey: Shit.
Squige: Quick. Kick it under the couch. (Mickey and Squige kick shards of the lamp under the couch while Steve goes to the kitchen and returns with a broom.)
Mikey: Good call, Steve.
Steve: I know. Here. (hands the broom to Mikey, then goes to stand near the kitchen door. Mikey sweeps most of it under the couch, while Squige kicks the bigger pieces. We hear someone descending the stair. Squige kicks the last piece over and Mikey throws the broom over to Steve who is standing by the kitchen door. Steve opens the kitchen door and throws the broom inside quickly. Enter Lisa and Gary from the stair.)
Lisa: Did you guys break something?
Squige: Hey, it's Lisa and Gary from upstairs. How's Vicky doing?
Lisa: She's unconscious. I thought I heard-
Squige: She passed out? How did that happen?
Gary: She tried to take an extra step and fell.
Lisa: I thought I heard something break.
Squige: Really? You did? I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything, Mikey?
Mikey: No. I didn't hear anything. And I'm sure I'd remember if I heard something break.
Squige: Yeah me too. You must be hearing things then, Lisa. We've been doing nothing but drinking beer and watching TV. (All eyes in the room go to the Television. The screen is black, dark, and not on.)
Squige: We uh... just... turned it off when... uh. All that shit started happening,
Lisa: What shit? (Her eyes have narrowed with suspicion.)
Squige: The, uh... shit that was happening. You know...
Lisa: No I'm afraid I don't.
Gary: Where's the lamp?
Squige: The lamp? We... had to move it when Mikey started getting this huge head ache. (All eyes go to Mikey, who quickly raises a hand to rub his temples, moaning once in false agony.)
Gary: So you had to move it?
Squige: Well yeah. The light was bothering him, so we put it in the...
Steve: Closet.
Squige: Yeah. The closet. That's right. It's in the closet. (Heather and Frank enter from the stairs.)
Lisa: You guys broke my lamp and threw it in the closet?
Squige: Who said anything about breaking anything?
Frank: What happened? (Lisa turns to face him.)
Lisa: They fuckin' broke a lamp.
Frank: Damn...
Heather: That sucks, Lis.
Lisa: Yeah, tell me about it. (She turns back to face the culprits.)
Squige: It was all Steves fault.
Lisa: You guys owe me a lamp.
Steve: Lisa, I had nothing to do with it.
Lisa: Where are the remains?
Mikey: We threw that shit out, yo. (Lisa nods slowly, angrily.)
Lisa: You fucking owe me a new lamp.
Mikey: All right. (Gary shakes his head and walks over to the keg.)
Squige: I'm gonna have to sell some mad dope, man. (Gary had found only foam upon pouring the brew into his cup.)
Gary: The keg is done.
Squige: You kicked it?
Gary:[b] Yeah.
[b]Lisa: Who the hell drank all that?!
Squige: You guys kind of left me alone with an unconscious Mikey for a good half hour. What else was I to do? Some one should tap into the next one I carried in courtesy of Steve.
Mikey: I'm on that shit, dude. (Walks over to the pony keg. And proceeds to attempt the tapping in. Frank walks over and shows him how, tapping into it and beginning to pump it.)
Frank: You can tap the next one. (Mikey puts his cup beneath the dispenser and fills his cup. Nearly half of it is foam.)
Mikey: What the fuck?
Frank: The first cup is usually like that. (Enter Tommy the stairs. He looks around and goes directly to the keg.)
Tommy: I thought I heard someone tapping into a keg. (He grabs a cup and goes to grab the hose, but finds that Squige has jumped in front of him, filling his cup.)
Lisa: You left Vicky up there by herself?!
Tommy: Nah. She's awake now. (Fills his cup. The company begins to talk casually to one another as Tommy walks over to where Squige and Mikey stand, a bit separated from the group. He whispers the next line to them.)
Tommy: So did Gary bag her or what? (Mikey shrugs.)
Squige: No one knows. No one has had the courage to ask him about it with Lisa here.
Tommy: Do you think he did?
Squige: I doubt the whole scenarios credibility.
Mikey: I don't know, man. They were up there a while.
Squige: That's true. They were up there until you fell off that car. When we came back from all that, they were in the living room again. (Vicky enters from the stairs.)
Squige: Vicky returns! (Immediately, Lisa walks over to her.)
Lisa: Are you all right, Vicky?
Vicky: I think so, yeah. My head hurts though.
Lisa: You took quite a fall.
Vicky: Is your cat okay?
Lisa: My what?
Vicky: The cat I tripped over on the way up.
Lisa: I don't have a cat.
Vicky: You don't?
Lisa: No. (cut over to Squige, Mikey, and Tommy. Squige leans over to Tommy.)
Squige: You up for a doober?
Tommy: Need you ask?
Squige: Let the party know, yo. (whispers into Mikeys ear as Tommy takes a step towards the group. He calls rather loudly to all.)
Tommy: Roll call!! (Squige and Mikey are already near the door when Tommy finishes his announcement and begins walking to the door. Of the party attendants, Vicky, Frank, and Steve follow. On the way out, Frank turns to Steve.)
Frank: I thought you didn't do that shit.
Steve: I don't. I need a cigarette.
Frank: Oh. (Those mentioned depart.)
Heather: Is that all they do?
Lisa: Pretty much. (Gary thinks about it for a moment.)
Gary: Yeah. I'd say so.
Heather: That's kind of childish.
Gary: I don't know many children that do that kind of thing, so your comparison is lost on me.
Heather: Most things are, Gary. (Gary turns to Lisa.)
Gary: So where did your mom go, Lis?
Lisa: To a hotel so she can fuck and be as loud as she wants.
Gary: How long do you think she'll take?
Lisa: I don't know, she can go for a while.
Heather: Can you please stop talking about your mothers sex life?
Gary: What time do you think she's coming back?
Lisa: I don't know. Most hotels throw you out at noon or so. (Momentary silence.)
Gary: Why the hell did you invite Steve?
Lisa: Because it's my party and he's my friend.
Gary: Yeah but... Steve just doesn't mesh well with the crowd. Or most people, really.
Lisa: What were you and Heather doing upstairs earlier? (Garys face goes pale, Heather's as well.)
Gary: I'm going to go smoke some of that joint outside. (Exits via front door. Lisa turns to Heather.)
Lisa: So what were you doing?
Heather: Talking. The music was loud down here, and we couldn't hear.
Lisa: Talking eh? You weren't say talking... with a full mouth, were you?
Heather(coldly): I can't believe you would suggest something like that, Lisa.
Lisa: What did you two talk about?
Heather: Something private.
Lisa: Oh?
Heather: Look Lisa, I know what you're thinking. But Gary and I have been friends for years. He was my friend even before he knew you. (Lisa sakes her head.)
Lisa: I'm sorry, Heather. It's just that... I was told you both went upstairs the moment I left, and didn't come back for a while. What am I supposed to think?
Heather: I would never do that to you.
Lisa: I know. I just...
Heather: I'm going to use your bathroom.
Lisa: Go ahead. (Exit Heather upstairs. Lisa is left alone for a while and she passes the time in silence for a moment until her cup is empty. She then refills it at the keg as Steve enters from the front door.)
Steve: Hey Lisa. (Lisa finishes filling her cup and faces Steve.)
Lisa: You get sick of the smoke?
Steve: Nah. The company. (Walks over to the keg and begins to fill up his cup. He glances back at Lisa.) Who invited the nigger, anyway? (The cup is full and he comes to stand beside Lisa, who appears to be a bit shocked.)
Lisa: Excuse me?
Steve: You didn't hear me?(Sips from his drink.) Tommy. Who invited him?
Lisa: So that's why you came in? You didn't want to be around the "nigger'? Was that it, Steve? (Steve sips from the cup again and shrugs.)
Steve: Pretty much, yeah. (Front door opens. Enter Gary, Mikey, Tommy, Vicky, Squige, and Frank from outside. Squige trips on the way in and nearly falls on his face.)
Squige: Woh. Shit. (Mikey and Tommy are laughing.)
Tommy: Hey, watch your step there, Squige.
Squige: Yeah. No shit, man.
Steve (To Lisa): We'll talk later.
Lisa: No. We won't. (She walks to the other side of the room to stand by the group. Frank walks over to the keg, fills five cups, and brings them all over to the group. Squige, Tommy, Gary, and Vicky each get one. Frank keeps the fifth cup.)
Mikey: What? I don't get one?
Frank: You're still young and full of energy, boy. You can run over for your own.
Mikey: Fuck you, Frank. (Walks over to the table and grabs a new cup, filling it, and eventually returning. Conversation continues despite his absence. Steve has wandered over to the group, consequently causing Lisa to walk away from the group. Lisa pulls Vicky along with her. The ladies walk over to stand before the stereo, chatting and selecting a CD. We stay with the guys.)
Squige: You see that new Jet Li flick, Tommy?
Tommy: Yeah. I went and watched it with you.
Squige: Oh yeah. That is right.
(Steve comes to join the boys.)
Tommy: Remember that part where he rounds the alley corner to come across those five dudes with bats?
Squige: Yeah, he was all like... (Squige busts out some poorly choreographed impromptu martial arts at the air before him. Several hoots and "hyas" flow from his mouth until he stops his demonstration.)
Tommy: Man, if I was there I would have busted his shit up. (Squige laughs at the absurdity of it all.)
Mikey: Yeah right.
Squige: You couldn't take Jet Li.
Tommy: Man, I'm telling you, If I was one of those guys with the bats in the alley-
Squige: You would've gotten beat down just like any other mother fucker who steps up to Jet Li. He would've been all over you like white on rice.
Mikey: Like flies on horse shit.
Steve: Like niggers on ribs. (All eyes turn to Steve. Music blasts suddenly from the stereo, some random compilation disk. Tommy bursts into laughter.)
Squige: I can't tell you how delighted we are you could make it tonight, Steve. (Walks pointedly away from him, coincidentally to the keg. Mikey gives a cold glare to Steve as he walks by, following Squige.)
Tommy: Hey, yo. That was some funny shit, Stevey. (Punches Steve playfully on the arm as he walks by to join the others at the keg. Only Frank is left to stand beside Steve. They look at each other for a silent moment.)
Frank: So... (Sips from his beer.)
Steve: You're out of rehab?
Frank: Evidently.
Steve: Don't you have to take a test for that shit?
Frank: No it was all voluntary.
Steve: Ah. I see...(Drinks from his own cup.)
Frank: Are you aware you're an asshole?
Steve: How's that?
Frank: It's just that... You're such an asshole... And...
Steve: And what?
Frank: Some people go around behaving like that and have no clue how much everyone despises them. I was just wondering if you were aware.
Steve: Fuck you, you fuckin junky.
Frank: Apparently not. (Downs his cup, then salutes Steve with it. He begins to walk away to join the group.)
Steve: Go home and stick a needle in your arm, you junky fuck.
Frank: All right. See you later, dick. (We are left with Steve who stands alone, his face all shades of pissed off. He shakes his head and drinks.)
Steve: Racial mingling mother fuckers. (Cut over to the group of guys at the keg. Most of them have freshly filled cups. Squige is all worked up. Lisa is walking over to the group as we join them. Tommy stands before Squige, whose back is to the table. Mikey, Frank, and Gary surround the two of them. Vicky can be seen in the background to be walking over to Steve and talking to him)
Squige: Mother fuckers that act like that fucking piss me off, man.
Tommy: Chill, dude. It's not that big a deal. It was funny, really. (Mikey chuckles a bit and mumbles.)
Mikey: Fuck. Yeah it was. (Tommy and Squige look over at him, very seriously.)
Tommy: It ain't that funny, mother fucker.
Mikey: Sorry, man. (Tommy returns to Squige. Lisa has reached them, she stands between Gary and Frank, to the left of Squige.)
Squige: It's the fucking way he said it, Tommy.
Tommy: Yeah, it'd be different if it came from one of you. But still, I've heard a lot worse. Squige, you're not even black. If anyone should be offended it's me.
Squige: But you're not the least bit upset.
Tommy: That's my point. Chill out. If he upsets me, I'll take care of it. You get me?
Squige: I guess. (Heather is descending the stair case.)
Tommy: Now step out of the way, you white cracker-ass mother fucker, I need a beer. (Few laughs from Squige and random onlookers. Squige walks away, to greet Heather. The camera follows Squiges interception of Heather, while Tommy fills a cup from the keg. The group talks. Squige meets Heather in front of the couch.)
Squige: Hey.
Heather: Hey. (The two stroll slowly over to Steve and Vicky's discussion.)
Squige: You and Gary didn't...
Heather: Damn it. What is it with you people?!
Squige: What?
Heather: No. I told him the same thing I told you.
Squige: About...?
Heather: Yeah.
Squige: How'd he take it?
Heather: Admittedly well. He seemed a bit less surprised than you did.
Squige: And the verdict?
(They have reached Steve and Vicky.)
Heather: Doubtful.
Vicky (to Heather): What is?
Heather: What is what?
Vicky: What's doubtful?
Heather: Oh. Nothing.
Vicky: Well surely it's something if you said it. You wouldn't have said it if it was nothing. You can't say nothing.
Squige: You just did.
Vicky: No, I said something, not nothing.
Squige: You just said it again.
Vicky: I have been saying something all along.
Squige: That depends on how you look at it.
Heather: Take the two of you for instance... Though speaking, neither of you have really said anything.
Vicky: I guess...
Steve: So Squige...
Squige: What's up, Steve?
Steve: What's with the nigger? (Heather, who was drinking from her cup, spits some of the beer out in surprise.)
Squige: How's that?
Steve: The big lipper tar baby mother fucker.
Squige: The what?
Steve: The fucking nigger over there. Tommy.
Squige: Oh! That nigger.
Steve: Yeah.
Squige: Yeah.
Steve: So who invited him?
Squige: I would assume Lisa did. It is, after all, her party.
Steve: God only knows why anyone would invite a nig to a party. I'm surprised he hasn't swiped all of the silverware yet. (Heather and Vicky glare coldly at Steve for a moment before walking away.)
Squige: Nigger, by definition, is an ignorant person.
Steve: Who told you that?
Squige: Webster. By that definition, Steve, you are the only nigger here.
Steve: Are you calling me a nigger?
Squige: Isn't that what I just said? (Drinks from his beer. Steve is red in the face with anger.)
Steve: You mother fucker! (Steve swings and lands a heavy right hook into Squiges chin. Squige hits the ground, spilling his beer in the process, then shakes his head a bit and gets on one knee. Everyone in the house rushes over to crowd around the two and see what has happened.)
Squige: You fucking nazi asshole! If I remember this when I sober up...
Steve: Oh. Then I'm safe. You're a drunk. You'll never sober up.
Squige: You're lucky I'm too fucked up to feel anything right now. If I remember this-
Steve: I hope you do. (Squige stands.)
Squige: Gary, remind me that this asshole hit me and made me spill my beer. (Gary takes a step forward from the group.)
Gary: Steve. I think you should leave.
Steve: So you're taking his fucking side?!
Gary: Yeah. In the past you've proven yourself to be quite a prick. For now, I'm going to assume that still holds true. In the event that I find out I'm wrong, however unlikely that may be, I will owe you an apology. Until then... Get the fuck out of here.
Steve: Great. Fucking great. You know what? I'm taking my keg with me.
Gary: What ever, man. Just go. (Steve begins to walk towards the table where his pony keg sits in a tub of ice.)
Squige: We already drank your fucking beer, asshole!
Steve: Fuck you. (Spins around to face Squige, who stands imposingly, several feet away.)
Squige: Come one Steve. Bring it back over here. (No reply.) Come one, dick. Hit me when I'm ready for it. (Steve takes a step forward before Gary jumps in the way to keep the peace.)
Gary: No. The last thing we need is an all out fight in Lisa's house. Get out of here, Steve.
Steve: Fine. You know what? Fuck all of you. (Walks determinably over to the table and grabs his keg / bucket.)
Squige: Man what an asshole.
Steve: I won't forget this, Squige.
Squige: Yeah? See that you don't. (Steve exits via front door. Everyone stands around Squige.)
Gary: You all right, Squige?
Frank: Yeah, man. You all right?
Squige: I'm fine, man. I just need another beer. That exiled mother fucker spilled mine. (Strolls over to the table with he kegs on it and begins filling up a cup.)
Frank: What started all that, anyway?
Squige: Oh, you know how Steve is. (His cup is finished filling.) The boy has no tact what so ever.
Gary: He's an asshole. (turns to Lisa.) I told you not to invite him.
Lisa: I guess I just figured he'd manage to control himself.
Gary: Yeah. Well there is no controlling him. Don't invite him to the next party, okay? I foresee bad things happening involving his presence.
Lisa: You didn't even have to suggest that, Gary.
Tommy: Hey Squige. He fucking hit you, man.
Squige: Yeah. (Rubs chin where he was hit.)
Tommy: Where were those Jet Li moves at?
Squige: You're the martial arts expert, not me.
Tommy: I thought you studied with him for a while.
Squige: I'm out of practice is all.
Lisa: Are you sure you're okay, Squige?
Squige: Fuck! I'm fine, all right?! I'm fucking great! (Stands atop a nearby chair.) You can all stop checking on me now, I feel fine. (Throws his head back.) I'm on top of the fucking world, everyone!! Top of the fucking world! (Laughs hysterically as he gets back to the ground. His laughter stops as he gags.)
Heather(to Vicky): Is he okay?
Squige: Oh God. I'm gonna spew. (hands his beer to someone and runs haphazardly up the stairs.)
Frank: Well...
Tommy: Are we going to do something about the music?
Lisa: Go ahead and mess with it. (Tommy walks over to the stereo and pushes a button.)
BLACK SCREEN
Focus into the living room. Squige and Mikey sit alone on a couch, we join them in mid conversation. Mikey has a few scrapes on him, and appears to be rather muddy on one side of his body.
Mikey: You're so full of shit.
Squige: Nah, man. I'm dead serious. Ten minutes after we went outside, you tried to surf on some ladies car.
Mikey: Shut the fuck up.
Squige: Mikey, I shit you not. You called it traffic surfing. Some lady stopped at a stop sign, and you hopped up on her roof. She floored, all scared and shit, and you stood on it for a while, until she stopped all of a sudden. You landed in someone's yard. And it's a good thing too, if you would have landed on the street, you'd be all fucked up right now. You were out of it, too.
Mikey: Must've been all the brew. (Squige shakes his head.)
Squige: How many did you have?
Mikey: I don't know, like three.
Squige: Then you can dismiss the idea that it was the brew. I'm telling you man, you ate that acid and went nuts. You were all hopping at traffic and shit.
Mikey: I tripped?
Squige: No, man, you got thrown from the car.
Mikey: I mean... I ate acid?
Squige: Yeah. Then you were trying to mount any car that stopped at the stop sign out front. It was some crazy shit.
Mikey: Am I still tripping? (Show a frontal view of Squige staring back at him on the couch. As Squige speaks his face begins to melt, it appears as though his skin is sliding off of his face, his voice sounds as though it is being projected through a tunnel.)
Squige: I don't know. Are you?
[i](Mikey shakes his head and refocuses on reality. He looks back at Squige, to find the face normal again.)
Mikey: I don't know. (There is a pause of silence.) Squige? There's something I've been meaning to ask you...
Squige: Which is...?
Mikey: Where the hell is everybody?
Squige: Lisa and Frank returned a little while after we carried you to the couch. We returned to find Gary and Heather bullshitting in the living room. All of a sudden Vicky thinks she can fly, as though some sort of secret had just been revealed to her. She charges up stairs, heading for the window in Lisa's room. Every one went after her, I guess she planned on soaring out the window. She didn't do it though. I know because I went outside and checked. And I haven't heard a thump on the ground outside. So they either got a hold of her, or the great secrete of flight has truly been revealed to her.
Mikey: Damn. That's fucked up.
Squige: Oh, and Steve wasn't here when we all got back from smoking and dragging your ass up off the neighbors lawn.
Mikey: What happened with Tanya?
Squige: Tanya?
Mikey: Didn't Frank and Lisa go to pick her up?
Squige: Yeah. They picked her up from work, but she was too tired to party, so they just dropped her off at home.
Mikey: Oh. How long ago did Vicky charge up stairs?
Squige: Fifteen minutes ago , or so... No one's come back yet. (Looks up at the ceiling, slightly perplexed.) They haven't really moved for a while either, come to think of it.
Mikey: Why do you suppose that is?
Squige: I don't know. Maybe Vicky did jump, and they're mourning her absence.
Mikey: Or maybe they thought happy thoughts and flew out the window...
Squige: Want to go outside and look for her body? I have another doob for the walk.
Mikey: And quite a long walk it will be. (They both stand up. There is suddenly movement from upstairs. A toilet flushes and Steve walks down the stairs.)
Steve: That was relieving. (He immediately walks over to the keg and fills up a cup, sipping from it.)
Squige: Hey, where's your keg at, Steve?
Steve: In my car. Help yourself to it. (He tosses Squige his keys. Squige snags them from the air and exits out the front door.)
Mikey: What's going on, Steve?
Steve: Not too much... You?
Mikey: Same old, same old. (Steve looks around.)
Steve: What the fuck? Where is everybody?
Mikey: They're all still upstairs I guess, from what Squige tells me. (Squige can be heard from the door, but not seen.)
Squige: Little help.
Mikey: Frank and Lisa came back.
Steve: No shit? Already?
Mikey: Yeah.
Squige (voice only): Little help.
Mikey: I guess Vicky decided she knew how to fly and ran up there. (Steve laughs a bit.)
Steve: Can she?
Mikey: Uh... no.
Squige (Voice only): Little help!!
Steve: So Frank made it, huh? Until I saw him here I didn't even think he was out of rehab.
Mikey: Yeah. He's been out for a week now.
Steve: He stayed clean all that time?
Mikey: Yeah.
Squige(Voice only): Little help!!
Steve: Then it's a good thing he has friends to help him get started back up, eh?
Mikey: Nah. He don't do no heavy shit no more. Just drinks and smokes.
Steve: Smokes pot or cigarettes.
Mikey: Both.
Steve: Is that safe? Smoking pot?
Mikey: It's safer than tobacco and alcohol, since Mary J isn't addictive.
Squige (Voice only): For the love of God, open the fucking door already!! (Mikey walks over to the door and opens it, in walks Squige carrying a deep, blue plastic bucket containing ice and a pony keg.)
Squige: There! Damn. Was that so fucking difficult.?! (Sets the bucket beside the table, in front of the other one. Mikey returns to stand beside Steve. Squige gets a cup and fills it up from the original pony on the table, then walks over to stand beside Mikey. The three of them stare at nothing, and Squige sips the beer in his hand calmly. Steve looks over at him.)
Steve: Is that one about kicked yet?
Squige: About. It should be all foamy soon enough.
Steve: You going to go over there and tap it? (He basically states it, rather than asking. As if ordering Squige to go over there and tap it.)
Squige: Was that a command, bitch?
Steve: What the fuck is your problem?!
Squige: What the fuck is yours?! You wanna go?! (His arms go to his side in an antagonizing fashion.)
Steve: Yeah. Hold on, though. Let me finish my beer. (Squige loosens up, as Steve begins to drain his cup into his throat.)
Squige: I can respect that. (raises his own cup and downs its contents. Squige sets his cup down.)
Steve: It's on now, mother fucker. (Throws his empty cup at Squiges face, then pushes his distracted enemy. The two mock fight each other, throwing powerful "would be" punches at one another, pushing and shoving. Mikey stands and watches as he finishes his beer. He sets the beer down.)
Mikey: That's it! Suffer my wrath! (Mikey joins the fight, immediately shoving Squige into an end table, sending the lamp atop it crashing to the ground. Everyone stops what they are doing and looks at the lamp.)
Mikey: Shit.
Squige: Quick. Kick it under the couch. (Mickey and Squige kick shards of the lamp under the couch while Steve goes to the kitchen and returns with a broom.)
Mikey: Good call, Steve.
Steve: I know. Here. (hands the broom to Mikey, then goes to stand near the kitchen door. Mikey sweeps most of it under the couch, while Squige kicks the bigger pieces. We hear someone descending the stair. Squige kicks the last piece over and Mikey throws the broom over to Steve who is standing by the kitchen door. Steve opens the kitchen door and throws the broom inside quickly. Enter Lisa and Gary from the stair.)
Lisa: Did you guys break something?
Squige: Hey, it's Lisa and Gary from upstairs. How's Vicky doing?
Lisa: She's unconscious. I thought I heard-
Squige: She passed out? How did that happen?
Gary: She tried to take an extra step and fell.
Lisa: I thought I heard something break.
Squige: Really? You did? I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything, Mikey?
Mikey: No. I didn't hear anything. And I'm sure I'd remember if I heard something break.
Squige: Yeah me too. You must be hearing things then, Lisa. We've been doing nothing but drinking beer and watching TV. (All eyes in the room go to the Television. The screen is black, dark, and not on.)
Squige: We uh... just... turned it off when... uh. All that shit started happening,
Lisa: What shit? (Her eyes have narrowed with suspicion.)
Squige: The, uh... shit that was happening. You know...
Lisa: No I'm afraid I don't.
Gary: Where's the lamp?
Squige: The lamp? We... had to move it when Mikey started getting this huge head ache. (All eyes go to Mikey, who quickly raises a hand to rub his temples, moaning once in false agony.)
Gary: So you had to move it?
Squige: Well yeah. The light was bothering him, so we put it in the...
Steve: Closet.
Squige: Yeah. The closet. That's right. It's in the closet. (Heather and Frank enter from the stairs.)
Lisa: You guys broke my lamp and threw it in the closet?
Squige: Who said anything about breaking anything?
Frank: What happened? (Lisa turns to face him.)
Lisa: They fuckin' broke a lamp.
Frank: Damn...
Heather: That sucks, Lis.
Lisa: Yeah, tell me about it. (She turns back to face the culprits.)
Squige: It was all Steves fault.
Lisa: You guys owe me a lamp.
Steve: Lisa, I had nothing to do with it.
Lisa: Where are the remains?
Mikey: We threw that shit out, yo. (Lisa nods slowly, angrily.)
Lisa: You fucking owe me a new lamp.
Mikey: All right. (Gary shakes his head and walks over to the keg.)
Squige: I'm gonna have to sell some mad dope, man. (Gary had found only foam upon pouring the brew into his cup.)
Gary: The keg is done.
Squige: You kicked it?
Gary:[b] Yeah.
[b]Lisa: Who the hell drank all that?!
Squige: You guys kind of left me alone with an unconscious Mikey for a good half hour. What else was I to do? Some one should tap into the next one I carried in courtesy of Steve.
Mikey: I'm on that shit, dude. (Walks over to the pony keg. And proceeds to attempt the tapping in. Frank walks over and shows him how, tapping into it and beginning to pump it.)
Frank: You can tap the next one. (Mikey puts his cup beneath the dispenser and fills his cup. Nearly half of it is foam.)
Mikey: What the fuck?
Frank: The first cup is usually like that. (Enter Tommy the stairs. He looks around and goes directly to the keg.)
Tommy: I thought I heard someone tapping into a keg. (He grabs a cup and goes to grab the hose, but finds that Squige has jumped in front of him, filling his cup.)
Lisa: You left Vicky up there by herself?!
Tommy: Nah. She's awake now. (Fills his cup. The company begins to talk casually to one another as Tommy walks over to where Squige and Mikey stand, a bit separated from the group. He whispers the next line to them.)
Tommy: So did Gary bag her or what? (Mikey shrugs.)
Squige: No one knows. No one has had the courage to ask him about it with Lisa here.
Tommy: Do you think he did?
Squige: I doubt the whole scenarios credibility.
Mikey: I don't know, man. They were up there a while.
Squige: That's true. They were up there until you fell off that car. When we came back from all that, they were in the living room again. (Vicky enters from the stairs.)
Squige: Vicky returns! (Immediately, Lisa walks over to her.)
Lisa: Are you all right, Vicky?
Vicky: I think so, yeah. My head hurts though.
Lisa: You took quite a fall.
Vicky: Is your cat okay?
Lisa: My what?
Vicky: The cat I tripped over on the way up.
Lisa: I don't have a cat.
Vicky: You don't?
Lisa: No. (cut over to Squige, Mikey, and Tommy. Squige leans over to Tommy.)
Squige: You up for a doober?
Tommy: Need you ask?
Squige: Let the party know, yo. (whispers into Mikeys ear as Tommy takes a step towards the group. He calls rather loudly to all.)
Tommy: Roll call!! (Squige and Mikey are already near the door when Tommy finishes his announcement and begins walking to the door. Of the party attendants, Vicky, Frank, and Steve follow. On the way out, Frank turns to Steve.)
Frank: I thought you didn't do that shit.
Steve: I don't. I need a cigarette.
Frank: Oh. (Those mentioned depart.)
Heather: Is that all they do?
Lisa: Pretty much. (Gary thinks about it for a moment.)
Gary: Yeah. I'd say so.
Heather: That's kind of childish.
Gary: I don't know many children that do that kind of thing, so your comparison is lost on me.
Heather: Most things are, Gary. (Gary turns to Lisa.)
Gary: So where did your mom go, Lis?
Lisa: To a hotel so she can fuck and be as loud as she wants.
Gary: How long do you think she'll take?
Lisa: I don't know, she can go for a while.
Heather: Can you please stop talking about your mothers sex life?
Gary: What time do you think she's coming back?
Lisa: I don't know. Most hotels throw you out at noon or so. (Momentary silence.)
Gary: Why the hell did you invite Steve?
Lisa: Because it's my party and he's my friend.
Gary: Yeah but... Steve just doesn't mesh well with the crowd. Or most people, really.
Lisa: What were you and Heather doing upstairs earlier? (Garys face goes pale, Heather's as well.)
Gary: I'm going to go smoke some of that joint outside. (Exits via front door. Lisa turns to Heather.)
Lisa: So what were you doing?
Heather: Talking. The music was loud down here, and we couldn't hear.
Lisa: Talking eh? You weren't say talking... with a full mouth, were you?
Heather(coldly): I can't believe you would suggest something like that, Lisa.
Lisa: What did you two talk about?
Heather: Something private.
Lisa: Oh?
Heather: Look Lisa, I know what you're thinking. But Gary and I have been friends for years. He was my friend even before he knew you. (Lisa sakes her head.)
Lisa: I'm sorry, Heather. It's just that... I was told you both went upstairs the moment I left, and didn't come back for a while. What am I supposed to think?
Heather: I would never do that to you.
Lisa: I know. I just...
Heather: I'm going to use your bathroom.
Lisa: Go ahead. (Exit Heather upstairs. Lisa is left alone for a while and she passes the time in silence for a moment until her cup is empty. She then refills it at the keg as Steve enters from the front door.)
Steve: Hey Lisa. (Lisa finishes filling her cup and faces Steve.)
Lisa: You get sick of the smoke?
Steve: Nah. The company. (Walks over to the keg and begins to fill up his cup. He glances back at Lisa.) Who invited the nigger, anyway? (The cup is full and he comes to stand beside Lisa, who appears to be a bit shocked.)
Lisa: Excuse me?
Steve: You didn't hear me?(Sips from his drink.) Tommy. Who invited him?
Lisa: So that's why you came in? You didn't want to be around the "nigger'? Was that it, Steve? (Steve sips from the cup again and shrugs.)
Steve: Pretty much, yeah. (Front door opens. Enter Gary, Mikey, Tommy, Vicky, Squige, and Frank from outside. Squige trips on the way in and nearly falls on his face.)
Squige: Woh. Shit. (Mikey and Tommy are laughing.)
Tommy: Hey, watch your step there, Squige.
Squige: Yeah. No shit, man.
Steve (To Lisa): We'll talk later.
Lisa: No. We won't. (She walks to the other side of the room to stand by the group. Frank walks over to the keg, fills five cups, and brings them all over to the group. Squige, Tommy, Gary, and Vicky each get one. Frank keeps the fifth cup.)
Mikey: What? I don't get one?
Frank: You're still young and full of energy, boy. You can run over for your own.
Mikey: Fuck you, Frank. (Walks over to the table and grabs a new cup, filling it, and eventually returning. Conversation continues despite his absence. Steve has wandered over to the group, consequently causing Lisa to walk away from the group. Lisa pulls Vicky along with her. The ladies walk over to stand before the stereo, chatting and selecting a CD. We stay with the guys.)
Squige: You see that new Jet Li flick, Tommy?
Tommy: Yeah. I went and watched it with you.
Squige: Oh yeah. That is right.
(Steve comes to join the boys.)
Tommy: Remember that part where he rounds the alley corner to come across those five dudes with bats?
Squige: Yeah, he was all like... (Squige busts out some poorly choreographed impromptu martial arts at the air before him. Several hoots and "hyas" flow from his mouth until he stops his demonstration.)
Tommy: Man, if I was there I would have busted his shit up. (Squige laughs at the absurdity of it all.)
Mikey: Yeah right.
Squige: You couldn't take Jet Li.
Tommy: Man, I'm telling you, If I was one of those guys with the bats in the alley-
Squige: You would've gotten beat down just like any other mother fucker who steps up to Jet Li. He would've been all over you like white on rice.
Mikey: Like flies on horse shit.
Steve: Like niggers on ribs. (All eyes turn to Steve. Music blasts suddenly from the stereo, some random compilation disk. Tommy bursts into laughter.)
Squige: I can't tell you how delighted we are you could make it tonight, Steve. (Walks pointedly away from him, coincidentally to the keg. Mikey gives a cold glare to Steve as he walks by, following Squige.)
Tommy: Hey, yo. That was some funny shit, Stevey. (Punches Steve playfully on the arm as he walks by to join the others at the keg. Only Frank is left to stand beside Steve. They look at each other for a silent moment.)
Frank: So... (Sips from his beer.)
Steve: You're out of rehab?
Frank: Evidently.
Steve: Don't you have to take a test for that shit?
Frank: No it was all voluntary.
Steve: Ah. I see...(Drinks from his own cup.)
Frank: Are you aware you're an asshole?
Steve: How's that?
Frank: It's just that... You're such an asshole... And...
Steve: And what?
Frank: Some people go around behaving like that and have no clue how much everyone despises them. I was just wondering if you were aware.
Steve: Fuck you, you fuckin junky.
Frank: Apparently not. (Downs his cup, then salutes Steve with it. He begins to walk away to join the group.)
Steve: Go home and stick a needle in your arm, you junky fuck.
Frank: All right. See you later, dick. (We are left with Steve who stands alone, his face all shades of pissed off. He shakes his head and drinks.)
Steve: Racial mingling mother fuckers. (Cut over to the group of guys at the keg. Most of them have freshly filled cups. Squige is all worked up. Lisa is walking over to the group as we join them. Tommy stands before Squige, whose back is to the table. Mikey, Frank, and Gary surround the two of them. Vicky can be seen in the background to be walking over to Steve and talking to him)
Squige: Mother fuckers that act like that fucking piss me off, man.
Tommy: Chill, dude. It's not that big a deal. It was funny, really. (Mikey chuckles a bit and mumbles.)
Mikey: Fuck. Yeah it was. (Tommy and Squige look over at him, very seriously.)
Tommy: It ain't that funny, mother fucker.
Mikey: Sorry, man. (Tommy returns to Squige. Lisa has reached them, she stands between Gary and Frank, to the left of Squige.)
Squige: It's the fucking way he said it, Tommy.
Tommy: Yeah, it'd be different if it came from one of you. But still, I've heard a lot worse. Squige, you're not even black. If anyone should be offended it's me.
Squige: But you're not the least bit upset.
Tommy: That's my point. Chill out. If he upsets me, I'll take care of it. You get me?
Squige: I guess. (Heather is descending the stair case.)
Tommy: Now step out of the way, you white cracker-ass mother fucker, I need a beer. (Few laughs from Squige and random onlookers. Squige walks away, to greet Heather. The camera follows Squiges interception of Heather, while Tommy fills a cup from the keg. The group talks. Squige meets Heather in front of the couch.)
Squige: Hey.
Heather: Hey. (The two stroll slowly over to Steve and Vicky's discussion.)
Squige: You and Gary didn't...
Heather: Damn it. What is it with you people?!
Squige: What?
Heather: No. I told him the same thing I told you.
Squige: About...?
Heather: Yeah.
Squige: How'd he take it?
Heather: Admittedly well. He seemed a bit less surprised than you did.
Squige: And the verdict?
(They have reached Steve and Vicky.)
Heather: Doubtful.
Vicky (to Heather): What is?
Heather: What is what?
Vicky: What's doubtful?
Heather: Oh. Nothing.
Vicky: Well surely it's something if you said it. You wouldn't have said it if it was nothing. You can't say nothing.
Squige: You just did.
Vicky: No, I said something, not nothing.
Squige: You just said it again.
Vicky: I have been saying something all along.
Squige: That depends on how you look at it.
Heather: Take the two of you for instance... Though speaking, neither of you have really said anything.
Vicky: I guess...
Steve: So Squige...
Squige: What's up, Steve?
Steve: What's with the nigger? (Heather, who was drinking from her cup, spits some of the beer out in surprise.)
Squige: How's that?
Steve: The big lipper tar baby mother fucker.
Squige: The what?
Steve: The fucking nigger over there. Tommy.
Squige: Oh! That nigger.
Steve: Yeah.
Squige: Yeah.
Steve: So who invited him?
Squige: I would assume Lisa did. It is, after all, her party.
Steve: God only knows why anyone would invite a nig to a party. I'm surprised he hasn't swiped all of the silverware yet. (Heather and Vicky glare coldly at Steve for a moment before walking away.)
Squige: Nigger, by definition, is an ignorant person.
Steve: Who told you that?
Squige: Webster. By that definition, Steve, you are the only nigger here.
Steve: Are you calling me a nigger?
Squige: Isn't that what I just said? (Drinks from his beer. Steve is red in the face with anger.)
Steve: You mother fucker! (Steve swings and lands a heavy right hook into Squiges chin. Squige hits the ground, spilling his beer in the process, then shakes his head a bit and gets on one knee. Everyone in the house rushes over to crowd around the two and see what has happened.)
Squige: You fucking nazi asshole! If I remember this when I sober up...
Steve: Oh. Then I'm safe. You're a drunk. You'll never sober up.
Squige: You're lucky I'm too fucked up to feel anything right now. If I remember this-
Steve: I hope you do. (Squige stands.)
Squige: Gary, remind me that this asshole hit me and made me spill my beer. (Gary takes a step forward from the group.)
Gary: Steve. I think you should leave.
Steve: So you're taking his fucking side?!
Gary: Yeah. In the past you've proven yourself to be quite a prick. For now, I'm going to assume that still holds true. In the event that I find out I'm wrong, however unlikely that may be, I will owe you an apology. Until then... Get the fuck out of here.
Steve: Great. Fucking great. You know what? I'm taking my keg with me.
Gary: What ever, man. Just go. (Steve begins to walk towards the table where his pony keg sits in a tub of ice.)
Squige: We already drank your fucking beer, asshole!
Steve: Fuck you. (Spins around to face Squige, who stands imposingly, several feet away.)
Squige: Come one Steve. Bring it back over here. (No reply.) Come one, dick. Hit me when I'm ready for it. (Steve takes a step forward before Gary jumps in the way to keep the peace.)
Gary: No. The last thing we need is an all out fight in Lisa's house. Get out of here, Steve.
Steve: Fine. You know what? Fuck all of you. (Walks determinably over to the table and grabs his keg / bucket.)
Squige: Man what an asshole.
Steve: I won't forget this, Squige.
Squige: Yeah? See that you don't. (Steve exits via front door. Everyone stands around Squige.)
Gary: You all right, Squige?
Frank: Yeah, man. You all right?
Squige: I'm fine, man. I just need another beer. That exiled mother fucker spilled mine. (Strolls over to the table with he kegs on it and begins filling up a cup.)
Frank: What started all that, anyway?
Squige: Oh, you know how Steve is. (His cup is finished filling.) The boy has no tact what so ever.
Gary: He's an asshole. (turns to Lisa.) I told you not to invite him.
Lisa: I guess I just figured he'd manage to control himself.
Gary: Yeah. Well there is no controlling him. Don't invite him to the next party, okay? I foresee bad things happening involving his presence.
Lisa: You didn't even have to suggest that, Gary.
Tommy: Hey Squige. He fucking hit you, man.
Squige: Yeah. (Rubs chin where he was hit.)
Tommy: Where were those Jet Li moves at?
Squige: You're the martial arts expert, not me.
Tommy: I thought you studied with him for a while.
Squige: I'm out of practice is all.
Lisa: Are you sure you're okay, Squige?
Squige: Fuck! I'm fine, all right?! I'm fucking great! (Stands atop a nearby chair.) You can all stop checking on me now, I feel fine. (Throws his head back.) I'm on top of the fucking world, everyone!! Top of the fucking world! (Laughs hysterically as he gets back to the ground. His laughter stops as he gags.)
Heather(to Vicky): Is he okay?
Squige: Oh God. I'm gonna spew. (hands his beer to someone and runs haphazardly up the stairs.)
Frank: Well...
Tommy: Are we going to do something about the music?
Lisa: Go ahead and mess with it. (Tommy walks over to the stereo and pushes a button.)
BLACK SCREEN