Location: Nowhere
Act 2 scene 1
We fade into the living room of Lisa's house. In the back there is a staircase; to the far left is the kitchen doors; to the far right is the door out of the house. Beside the stair is a table on which a keg sits in a large ice bucket. On the other side of the stairs, on the same wall, is an entertainment center. On this entertainment center is a large TV, which is off, and a stereo system. A couch is on the right wall, and most of the living room floor has been cleared for the party. In the room stands Tommy, a black man of about seventeen years. He wears a plain gray basketball jersey type shirt, and wide legged jeans. Sitting near him, on the stairs are Frank and Vicky. Frank is in his mid twenties and gives off a generally cool atmosphere. He wears a long-sleeved black shirt black jeans. Vicky is twenty-two. She has brunette, shoulder length hair, and a fit body. She wars black leather pants and a plain black T-shirt. Heather stands off to herself, looking at the many things on shelves that decorate the room. Heather is of twenty years. She has a feminine, shapely body, well covered by her flannel and well worn jean combo. Tommy paces restlessly. From the kitchen enters Lisa's mom. Tommy approaches her.
Tommy: So what's up with your daughter. She doesn't even show up for her own party?
Lisa's Mom: She got off late tonight. She's in the shower.
Tommy: Oh, I see.
Lisa's Mom: Are you drinking tonight, Tommy?
Tommy: You know it.
Lisa's Mom: Are you going to give me your keys?
Tommy: I would... but that would prevent me from getting into my house. (Lisa's moms face becomes stern. She holds her hand out.)
Lisa's Mom: Keys?
Tommy: I don't even have them.
Heather: Don't worry, I took everyone's keys already. No one drinking is driving.
Lisa's Mom: Good. The responsible one steps forward from the crowd. (She and Heather share a smile.) I'm going out for the evening, my date should be arriving shortly. Don't let things get out of control, okay Heather?
Heather: Okay, Ms. Portier. (Lisa's Mom steps around Vicky and Frank, Frank standing and moving aside for her. She disappears up the stairs. Frank steps down the stairs to stand beside Tommy. He nudges Tommy with his elbow.)
Frank: So when are we tapping into this keg?
Tommy: As soon as the hostess arrives, I would say.
Frank: Chivalry? (He pats Tommy on the shoulder.) A trait which has become drastically uncommon in the youth of modern days. (Tommy looks oddly at him)
Tommy: I guess.
Frank: I applaud you, young man. Well done. (The two stand in silence for a moment.)
Tommy: Do you think Gary and Squige will show up for this one?
Vicky: Why wouldn't they?
Frank: Last time they got drunk in the pizza shop parking lot and forgot all about the party.
Tommy: And then there was the time when they were on an endless quest for drugs all night... (Lisa arrives, walking down the steps to join the party. She wears blue jeans and a black T-shirt sporting the tag of a band.)
Lisa: And they showed up after just about every one left with three roaches and a joint. They smelled like they already smoked an ounce.
Frank: Lisa has arrived.
Tommy: Should we tap the keg?
Frank: I believe we should. (Frank does the honor, and he pours cups for all guests, and then finally one for himself, hanging the hose up.)
Tommy: What are you missing at this party?
Lisa: What?
Tommy: There's something missing. (His hands scope the span off the room as)
Frank: What? You been swiping silverware again?
Tommy: No-no. Nothing like that. Something that should be here is not... (They look around trying to figure it out.)
Lisa: I moved the furniture around to make more room...
Tommy: Nah. That ain't it.
Lisa: We got rid of the old end table.
Tommy: Did you? I didn't even notice.
Frank: Is it the old wooden rocking chair?
Tommy: Well, yes, that too.
Lisa: Is it- (Tommy clicks his fingers in realization.)
Tommy: I got it! Lisa, where is the music. What is a party without music?
Lisa: Oh, that. (Tommy laughs to himself for a moment.)
Tommy: There's no fucking music.
Lisa: Mikey said he was bringing his stereo over.
Tommy: Oh yeah? Where's your phone?
Lisa: In the kitchen, on the wall. Why?
Tommy: Because I'm going to call Mikey, and he is going to get his white ass down here with that stereo, pronto. (Tommy exits into the kitchen.)
Vicky: What's this I hear about Jay being gay?
Heather: Shut up, Vicky! Jay is not gay.
Vicky: Well I don't know. That's just what Frank told me. (All eyes go to Frank.)
Frank: I saw him kissing some dude in the park.
Lisa: Maybe they were related. I mean, Jay is Italian. Italian families kiss like that sometimes.
Frank: Yeah, but with their tongues?
Lisa: Good point.
Heather: What did this guy look like?
Frank: He had short, jet black hair. And your Italian story couldn't hold up, Lisa. Even if tongue hadn't been involved.
Lisa: Why's that?
Frank: The guy was Asian.
Heather: You idiot!
Frank: What?
Heather: That was Lynn! She's his girlfriend.
Frank: You're telling me that was a chick?
Heather: Yeah. (Mikey enters carrying his stereo in, he sets it on the floor and exits through the door.)
Frank: Well... Where were her tits? She doesn't have any? (Tommy enters from the kitchen.)
Tommy: That little fuck wasn't even home. Apparently, and I'm assuming this for his sake, he's on his way over.
Frank: He's already here, actually. (Mikey comes back in the door, carrying a speaker and a bundle of speaker wire. Tommy walks up to him as he sets the speaker down beside the stereo.)
Tommy: What's up, Mikey? (The two shake hands.)
Mikey: How you doing, Tommy?
Tommy: Not too bad. You setting up for the tunes?
Mikey: Oh yeah.
Tommy: You need any help?
Mikey: There's still another speaker in the trunk. You can grab it so my grandfather can leave.
Tommy: Sure, sure. No problem. (Pats Mikey on the back) I'll take care of that, you just set your shit up.
Mikey: That was the plan. (Tommy exits out door. Mikey goes about connecting the speaker wires. Tommy brings in the second speaker and sets it on the opposite side of the stereo, Mikey connects the speaker, and plugs it in. Lisa walks up to him.)
Lisa: Where's Gary and Squige?
Mikey: They're not here yet?
Lisa: No.
Mikey: Well then I guess they're on their way. Gary dropped me off so that I could get my stereo and see if my grandfather would give me a ride, which he did. They told me they'd meet me here, they had to grab something.
Lisa: Oh. I see. (Frank nudges her.)
Frank: You think they'll show up for this one? (Mikey has the system set up.)
Lisa: They fucking better.
Mikey: I'm hoping you have a decent selection of music?
Lisa: Somewhat, yes.
Mikey: Go ahead and pop something in. It's all set up. (Lisa walks over to the entertainment center and opens a door which reveals a tall stack of CDs.)
Frank: Good of you to finally join us, Mikey.
Mikey: Thank you. It's good to be here. Where is the beer?
Tommy: Oh no. No beer for you. You're are not old enough to drink.
Mikey: Fuck you, Tommy; we're the same age. Now where's the beer.
Tommy: We are not the same age. As you well know, I was born three weeks before you.
Mikey: Man, stop playin' around. Where's the beer.
Tommy: You know what? (Holds up his cup.) This is the last of it.
Mikey: Fuck you, Tommy.
Tommy: Now maybe if you had shown up on time...
Mikey: Stop fucking around! Where's the damn beer?! I've been going three hours without it.
Frank: It's on the other side of the stairs.
Mikey: Thank you, Frank. You are a true friend. (Walks over to keg, and fills a cup, drinking from it when done.) Mmm. The Irish Red.
(Every one becomes lost in conversation, Mikey, Tommy, Frank, and Vicky converse with one another. Heather sits on the couch, quietly observing the scene, sipping her beer. Lisa puts on some Tribe Called Quest. She stands alone in the center of the living room. She glances at a clock on the wall and then addresses the audience.)
Lisa: Frank over there... (She motions to Frank) He just got out of a rehab center. He was real hooked up on allot of things. But he's real uncomfortable talking about it, so don't say anything. I'm sure Steve will manage to say something, though. He has a knack for stirring trouble. He seems to enjoy pressing people to their limits. He's quite hot tempered too. He used to wait tables, until one day he got a rude customer who rushed him along and complained about everything. So Steve made the guy catch his dinner, practically throwing the plate at the guy. Spaghetti sauce was all over the guys suit. After that the guy stood up, furious, so Steve his him in the face with the side of the serving tray. Ended up breaking the guys nose. If his uncle didn't manage the restaurant, he would've been out of a job. But as it was, Ted just bumped him down to busboy. (She drinks from her cup.) I hope Gary and Squige get here soon. I wonder what's taking them so long...
Heather: Maybe they had to stop somewhere.
Lisa: But for what? We have the brew.
Heather: You did say Gary and Squige, right?
Lisa: Right.
Heather: Maybe they stopped for something.
Lisa: Right. And then I said that we already have...(realization hits her suddenly.) Oh. Oh, I see. Well, I certainly hope they get here soon. (Lights flash in the window, an indication that someone has pulled in. Lisa goes to the window and looks out.)
Lisa: Speaking of the little hell raisers... (She goes to the door and opens it in walks Squige, who walks past Lisa to stand in the middle of the living room)
Squige: All right. I have arrived. The party may now begin. (Behind him, Gary enters, and immediately wraps himself in an embrace and deep kiss with Lisa. Squige walks over to the CD player and opens the carousel tray, placing a CD in at the moment GNR ends. Gary approaches the cluster of men near the keg.)
Mikey: Gary! How ya doing? Long time no see.
Gary: Yeah, yeah. Step aside, you're blocking the beer. (Mikey steps to the side. A Live one, from Phish fills the airwaves. The crowd screams on the speakers and most members of the party look around in puzzlement as to what was playing. Then recognition hits them. This album plays for the duration of the scene. Camera angles are pulsating with the beat of the music and come at many odd angles.)
Squige: Ah yeah. (They all begin to groove to the beat of the music. On cue of chorus all begin to jump around in the living room to the beat. After a moment Squige stops and faces Mikey.)
Squige: Hey, man. Where's the beer? (There is no reply.) Fine. I guess I'll just have to locate it on my own. (Squige begins to walk to the kitchen but stops to face Vicky, who stands alone at the keg, holding a beer and watching everyone.) I think I'm in love.
Vicky: Back off Squige.
Squige: You are looking good today.
Vicky: Thank you, that's good to here.
Squige:[b] I don't know what you're doing with that loser, though.
[b]Vicky: Whose a loser?
Squige:[b] I'm sorry, could you hold on a second? (He now looks Vicky in the eyes.) Do you mind, Vicky? I'm trying to have a moment with the beer, and you're ruining the mood.
[b]Vicky: Go get your own. (Drinks the remainder of her beer.) It's behind me, on the side of the stairs. Get me one too. (She hands him her cup. Squige obeys, parting her company to converse with the keg as he fills cups from it's hose. Squige returns with the beers and then stands beside Vicky silently for a moment. Then he turns to her.)
Squige: You want a strip?
Vicky: In front of everyone?
Squige: Sure.
Vicky: Won't Lisa get pissed.
Squige: Nah, she'll probably join in.
Vicky: You sure? I don't think Lisa will want one.
Squige: Strip?
Vicky: All right. (Squige shouts to the crowd.)
Squige: Hey! Listen up! Vicky is going to take her clothes off! (Music stops. Everyone looks at Vicky.)
Vicky: I am not taking my clothes off. (Music resumes. Every one goes back to what they were doing.)
Squige: What the fuck?
Vicky: I thought you were talking about acid.
Squige: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bottle of sweet breath.) You're are a virgin to the substance, are you not?
Vicky: Yeah...
Squige: Well then, allow me to deflower you. Stick out your tongue. (Vicky does so, and Squige drops a single drop of liquid onto her tongue. Mikey walks over to join them.)
Mikey: What are giving out, man.
Squige: Breath mint. You want some.
Mikey: Yeah. (Squige drops two drops into Mikeys mouth. Mikey smiles. From the crowd Lisa and Gary walk over to the keg and fill their cups. Gary joins the group first, while Lisa is filling her own cup.)
Gary: You dishing out acid, Squige?
Squige: Why? You looking for some?
Gary: Yeah.
Squige: Breath mint? (He hands it to Gary. Gary gives himself one drop, hands it back to Squige who drops two in his own mouth. Lisa joins them just as Squige is dropping his.)
Gary: You want a drop of breath mint, Lis?
Lisa: What kind of Breath mint?
Gary: I think it was peppermint.
Lisa: Legal peppermint?
Gary: Not at all.
Lisa: No thanks, I have to tend to the party tonight, as I am the hostess.
Squige: Don't you think you should be on the same level as your party?
Lisa: What's the point in that?
Squige: You would be prepared for more diverse situations.(Lisa thinks about it a moment.) Just one, mind you. A highlight to the evening, if you will.
Lisa: Well all right. (Squige drops one in her mouth.)
Squige: Oh shit! I think I just emptied the whole bottle out in your mouth.
Lisa: Did you really?
Squige: You are going to be so fucked up. (Frank also walks over to the group. He approaches Lisa.)
Frank: Hey, I'm supposed to pick up Tanya from work now, you want to join me for the ride?
Squige: I don't know if she should, man. She just swallowed a whole veil of acid.
Frank: No shit. That's fucked up.
Lisa: Don't let him fool you like he thinks he's fooled me. I know there was only one drop placed on my tongue.
Frank: So you want to come? (Lisa looks momentarily to Gary, who shrugs in response.) Or am I perhaps asking the wrong person? Gary may I have your permission to take the company of your fair damsel on a ride to pick up Tanya?
Gary: Yeah, sure. Go right ahead. (Frank bows with mock chivalry.)
Frank: Thank you, Gary.
Gary: Of course. (Frank leads Lisa away and they exit out the front door.)
Mikey: Did you bring any bud with you?
Squige: Of course I did.
Gary: If you will excuse me... (He leaves the group to sit beside Heather on the couch. The camera, however, stays with the group.)
Squige: I still have to roll it.
Mikey: Well what are you waiting for? Roll on.
Squige: Very well then. (Drains his cup and refills it at the keg. He then exits into the kitchen. Mikey and Vicky stand in silence for a while, watching Gary and Heather.)
Mikey: Look at my man Gary throw the moves on her.
Vicky: They are so not flirting.
Mikey: What ever, next thing you know her tongue will be all up in his mouth. (Gary leans over and says something into Heather's ear. She nods in reply and the two of them stand, walking over to the stairs. Mikey claps approvingly.)
Vicky: What... (Mikey shouts above the crowd.)
Mikey: Way to go Gary!! (Gary and Heather exit up the stairs, Mikey walks over to Mikey and Vicky.)
Tommy: What the hell just happened there?
Mikey: Looks like they're shacking it up.
Tommy: What about Lisa? (Mikey shrugs)
Mikey: She left.
Tommy: Man. I can't believe that shit. I thought more of Gary.
Vicky: Me too.
Mikey: But in the end, he is but a man.
Vicky: I'm sure there's a perfectly logical reason for all of this.
Mikey: Yeah, he's horny and his girl ain't around.
Tommy: Sounds logical to me.
Vicky: But Gary...?
Tommy: I didn't think Gary would stoop to a level so low as that, but.. As Mikey said, he is but a man, and being one myself, I understand those urges. It's the ability to control them that separates the men from the boys.
Vicky: I just can't believe he would do something like that...
Tommy: Well, what are you going to do? Live and learn. (Lights flash in the window, indicating the arrival of a new guest. Moments later, Steve enters. The lack of excitement at his arrival seems almost overwhelming. He walks up to the group.)
Steve: What's going on?
Mikey: You know, the usual... (Steve looks behind them)
Steve: Is that the keg? (Tommy looks behind them as well, then returns his gaze to Steve.)
Tommy: What? That cylindrical metallic thing on the table?
(Steve is very cold to Tommy.)
Steve: Yeah.
Tommy: That's what it appears to be.
Steve: Thanks for all your help. (Steve walks around the group to fill up a cup, while Vicky, and Mikey exchange glances of dismay and obvious discomfort at Steves presence. Steve rejoins the group.)
Steve: So where's Gary and Lisa?
Vicky: Lisa went with Frank to go pick up Tanya.
Mikey: And Gary is apparently fucking the shit out of Heather right now.
Steve: No shit? Where at?
Mikey: Up stairs somewhere.
Steve: Well, that gives him a few points in my book.
Vicky: In what? Your book of assholes?
Steve: What do you mean?
Vicky: What about Lisa?
Steve: I don't know... What about her? (Vicky rolls her eyes) She isn't here, right? (He shrugs.) Then there's no problem, really.
Vicky: You are such an asshole, Steve.(She walks away from the group to sit on the couch.)
Steve: You would be surprised by how often I hear that.
Mikey: I wouldn't. (Squige enters from the kitchen, dangling a very thick joint from between his lips.)
Tommy: Squige has returned! So kind of you to grace us with your presence.
Squige: Well, I do tend to retain my humbleness by occasionally mingling with you peons.
Tommy: How very thoughtful of you. (Steve nods his head in greeting to Squige.)
Squige: I see Stephen has arrived... So good to see you again.
Steve: And the same to you.
Squige: Have you managed to stir any trouble, yet?
Steve: Only minor tumults of anger and disgust so far, but it is still a work in progress.
Squige: Well keep me updated, will you?
Steve: I will.
Squige: Would anyone care to join me on an outdoors expedition? (All save Steve seem to jump at the opportunity.) Right this way, then. (Squige leads the group out of the house, only Steve remains in the room.)
Steve: Fucking people, man. They all get so fucking easily offended. (Drinks half the contents of his cup.) They get offended by mere words, and yet they force me to stand in the presence of that fucking coon. (Downs the remainder of his beer.) They put me beside a fucking nigger and expect me to be civil. It disgusts me to see them mingle with a race outside of their own. Though you can't really blame them for seeking alternatives to their own race, ignorant group of mother fuckers that they are. They alone condemn the future of our nation. (He throws his cup down in disgust, then refills his cup. He looks around at the living room.)
Steve: Shit. I'm not going to stand around here by myself, though in better company. I gotta take a shit as it is. (Drains his beer in a long series of gulps, then goes up the steps. The camera blurs out of focus.)
We fade into the living room of Lisa's house. In the back there is a staircase; to the far left is the kitchen doors; to the far right is the door out of the house. Beside the stair is a table on which a keg sits in a large ice bucket. On the other side of the stairs, on the same wall, is an entertainment center. On this entertainment center is a large TV, which is off, and a stereo system. A couch is on the right wall, and most of the living room floor has been cleared for the party. In the room stands Tommy, a black man of about seventeen years. He wears a plain gray basketball jersey type shirt, and wide legged jeans. Sitting near him, on the stairs are Frank and Vicky. Frank is in his mid twenties and gives off a generally cool atmosphere. He wears a long-sleeved black shirt black jeans. Vicky is twenty-two. She has brunette, shoulder length hair, and a fit body. She wars black leather pants and a plain black T-shirt. Heather stands off to herself, looking at the many things on shelves that decorate the room. Heather is of twenty years. She has a feminine, shapely body, well covered by her flannel and well worn jean combo. Tommy paces restlessly. From the kitchen enters Lisa's mom. Tommy approaches her.
Tommy: So what's up with your daughter. She doesn't even show up for her own party?
Lisa's Mom: She got off late tonight. She's in the shower.
Tommy: Oh, I see.
Lisa's Mom: Are you drinking tonight, Tommy?
Tommy: You know it.
Lisa's Mom: Are you going to give me your keys?
Tommy: I would... but that would prevent me from getting into my house. (Lisa's moms face becomes stern. She holds her hand out.)
Lisa's Mom: Keys?
Tommy: I don't even have them.
Heather: Don't worry, I took everyone's keys already. No one drinking is driving.
Lisa's Mom: Good. The responsible one steps forward from the crowd. (She and Heather share a smile.) I'm going out for the evening, my date should be arriving shortly. Don't let things get out of control, okay Heather?
Heather: Okay, Ms. Portier. (Lisa's Mom steps around Vicky and Frank, Frank standing and moving aside for her. She disappears up the stairs. Frank steps down the stairs to stand beside Tommy. He nudges Tommy with his elbow.)
Frank: So when are we tapping into this keg?
Tommy: As soon as the hostess arrives, I would say.
Frank: Chivalry? (He pats Tommy on the shoulder.) A trait which has become drastically uncommon in the youth of modern days. (Tommy looks oddly at him)
Tommy: I guess.
Frank: I applaud you, young man. Well done. (The two stand in silence for a moment.)
Tommy: Do you think Gary and Squige will show up for this one?
Vicky: Why wouldn't they?
Frank: Last time they got drunk in the pizza shop parking lot and forgot all about the party.
Tommy: And then there was the time when they were on an endless quest for drugs all night... (Lisa arrives, walking down the steps to join the party. She wears blue jeans and a black T-shirt sporting the tag of a band.)
Lisa: And they showed up after just about every one left with three roaches and a joint. They smelled like they already smoked an ounce.
Frank: Lisa has arrived.
Tommy: Should we tap the keg?
Frank: I believe we should. (Frank does the honor, and he pours cups for all guests, and then finally one for himself, hanging the hose up.)
Tommy: What are you missing at this party?
Lisa: What?
Tommy: There's something missing. (His hands scope the span off the room as)
Frank: What? You been swiping silverware again?
Tommy: No-no. Nothing like that. Something that should be here is not... (They look around trying to figure it out.)
Lisa: I moved the furniture around to make more room...
Tommy: Nah. That ain't it.
Lisa: We got rid of the old end table.
Tommy: Did you? I didn't even notice.
Frank: Is it the old wooden rocking chair?
Tommy: Well, yes, that too.
Lisa: Is it- (Tommy clicks his fingers in realization.)
Tommy: I got it! Lisa, where is the music. What is a party without music?
Lisa: Oh, that. (Tommy laughs to himself for a moment.)
Tommy: There's no fucking music.
Lisa: Mikey said he was bringing his stereo over.
Tommy: Oh yeah? Where's your phone?
Lisa: In the kitchen, on the wall. Why?
Tommy: Because I'm going to call Mikey, and he is going to get his white ass down here with that stereo, pronto. (Tommy exits into the kitchen.)
Vicky: What's this I hear about Jay being gay?
Heather: Shut up, Vicky! Jay is not gay.
Vicky: Well I don't know. That's just what Frank told me. (All eyes go to Frank.)
Frank: I saw him kissing some dude in the park.
Lisa: Maybe they were related. I mean, Jay is Italian. Italian families kiss like that sometimes.
Frank: Yeah, but with their tongues?
Lisa: Good point.
Heather: What did this guy look like?
Frank: He had short, jet black hair. And your Italian story couldn't hold up, Lisa. Even if tongue hadn't been involved.
Lisa: Why's that?
Frank: The guy was Asian.
Heather: You idiot!
Frank: What?
Heather: That was Lynn! She's his girlfriend.
Frank: You're telling me that was a chick?
Heather: Yeah. (Mikey enters carrying his stereo in, he sets it on the floor and exits through the door.)
Frank: Well... Where were her tits? She doesn't have any? (Tommy enters from the kitchen.)
Tommy: That little fuck wasn't even home. Apparently, and I'm assuming this for his sake, he's on his way over.
Frank: He's already here, actually. (Mikey comes back in the door, carrying a speaker and a bundle of speaker wire. Tommy walks up to him as he sets the speaker down beside the stereo.)
Tommy: What's up, Mikey? (The two shake hands.)
Mikey: How you doing, Tommy?
Tommy: Not too bad. You setting up for the tunes?
Mikey: Oh yeah.
Tommy: You need any help?
Mikey: There's still another speaker in the trunk. You can grab it so my grandfather can leave.
Tommy: Sure, sure. No problem. (Pats Mikey on the back) I'll take care of that, you just set your shit up.
Mikey: That was the plan. (Tommy exits out door. Mikey goes about connecting the speaker wires. Tommy brings in the second speaker and sets it on the opposite side of the stereo, Mikey connects the speaker, and plugs it in. Lisa walks up to him.)
Lisa: Where's Gary and Squige?
Mikey: They're not here yet?
Lisa: No.
Mikey: Well then I guess they're on their way. Gary dropped me off so that I could get my stereo and see if my grandfather would give me a ride, which he did. They told me they'd meet me here, they had to grab something.
Lisa: Oh. I see. (Frank nudges her.)
Frank: You think they'll show up for this one? (Mikey has the system set up.)
Lisa: They fucking better.
Mikey: I'm hoping you have a decent selection of music?
Lisa: Somewhat, yes.
Mikey: Go ahead and pop something in. It's all set up. (Lisa walks over to the entertainment center and opens a door which reveals a tall stack of CDs.)
Frank: Good of you to finally join us, Mikey.
Mikey: Thank you. It's good to be here. Where is the beer?
Tommy: Oh no. No beer for you. You're are not old enough to drink.
Mikey: Fuck you, Tommy; we're the same age. Now where's the beer.
Tommy: We are not the same age. As you well know, I was born three weeks before you.
Mikey: Man, stop playin' around. Where's the beer.
Tommy: You know what? (Holds up his cup.) This is the last of it.
Mikey: Fuck you, Tommy.
Tommy: Now maybe if you had shown up on time...
Mikey: Stop fucking around! Where's the damn beer?! I've been going three hours without it.
Frank: It's on the other side of the stairs.
Mikey: Thank you, Frank. You are a true friend. (Walks over to keg, and fills a cup, drinking from it when done.) Mmm. The Irish Red.
(Every one becomes lost in conversation, Mikey, Tommy, Frank, and Vicky converse with one another. Heather sits on the couch, quietly observing the scene, sipping her beer. Lisa puts on some Tribe Called Quest. She stands alone in the center of the living room. She glances at a clock on the wall and then addresses the audience.)
Lisa: Frank over there... (She motions to Frank) He just got out of a rehab center. He was real hooked up on allot of things. But he's real uncomfortable talking about it, so don't say anything. I'm sure Steve will manage to say something, though. He has a knack for stirring trouble. He seems to enjoy pressing people to their limits. He's quite hot tempered too. He used to wait tables, until one day he got a rude customer who rushed him along and complained about everything. So Steve made the guy catch his dinner, practically throwing the plate at the guy. Spaghetti sauce was all over the guys suit. After that the guy stood up, furious, so Steve his him in the face with the side of the serving tray. Ended up breaking the guys nose. If his uncle didn't manage the restaurant, he would've been out of a job. But as it was, Ted just bumped him down to busboy. (She drinks from her cup.) I hope Gary and Squige get here soon. I wonder what's taking them so long...
Heather: Maybe they had to stop somewhere.
Lisa: But for what? We have the brew.
Heather: You did say Gary and Squige, right?
Lisa: Right.
Heather: Maybe they stopped for something.
Lisa: Right. And then I said that we already have...(realization hits her suddenly.) Oh. Oh, I see. Well, I certainly hope they get here soon. (Lights flash in the window, an indication that someone has pulled in. Lisa goes to the window and looks out.)
Lisa: Speaking of the little hell raisers... (She goes to the door and opens it in walks Squige, who walks past Lisa to stand in the middle of the living room)
Squige: All right. I have arrived. The party may now begin. (Behind him, Gary enters, and immediately wraps himself in an embrace and deep kiss with Lisa. Squige walks over to the CD player and opens the carousel tray, placing a CD in at the moment GNR ends. Gary approaches the cluster of men near the keg.)
Mikey: Gary! How ya doing? Long time no see.
Gary: Yeah, yeah. Step aside, you're blocking the beer. (Mikey steps to the side. A Live one, from Phish fills the airwaves. The crowd screams on the speakers and most members of the party look around in puzzlement as to what was playing. Then recognition hits them. This album plays for the duration of the scene. Camera angles are pulsating with the beat of the music and come at many odd angles.)
Squige: Ah yeah. (They all begin to groove to the beat of the music. On cue of chorus all begin to jump around in the living room to the beat. After a moment Squige stops and faces Mikey.)
Squige: Hey, man. Where's the beer? (There is no reply.) Fine. I guess I'll just have to locate it on my own. (Squige begins to walk to the kitchen but stops to face Vicky, who stands alone at the keg, holding a beer and watching everyone.) I think I'm in love.
Vicky: Back off Squige.
Squige: You are looking good today.
Vicky: Thank you, that's good to here.
Squige:[b] I don't know what you're doing with that loser, though.
[b]Vicky: Whose a loser?
Squige:[b] I'm sorry, could you hold on a second? (He now looks Vicky in the eyes.) Do you mind, Vicky? I'm trying to have a moment with the beer, and you're ruining the mood.
[b]Vicky: Go get your own. (Drinks the remainder of her beer.) It's behind me, on the side of the stairs. Get me one too. (She hands him her cup. Squige obeys, parting her company to converse with the keg as he fills cups from it's hose. Squige returns with the beers and then stands beside Vicky silently for a moment. Then he turns to her.)
Squige: You want a strip?
Vicky: In front of everyone?
Squige: Sure.
Vicky: Won't Lisa get pissed.
Squige: Nah, she'll probably join in.
Vicky: You sure? I don't think Lisa will want one.
Squige: Strip?
Vicky: All right. (Squige shouts to the crowd.)
Squige: Hey! Listen up! Vicky is going to take her clothes off! (Music stops. Everyone looks at Vicky.)
Vicky: I am not taking my clothes off. (Music resumes. Every one goes back to what they were doing.)
Squige: What the fuck?
Vicky: I thought you were talking about acid.
Squige: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bottle of sweet breath.) You're are a virgin to the substance, are you not?
Vicky: Yeah...
Squige: Well then, allow me to deflower you. Stick out your tongue. (Vicky does so, and Squige drops a single drop of liquid onto her tongue. Mikey walks over to join them.)
Mikey: What are giving out, man.
Squige: Breath mint. You want some.
Mikey: Yeah. (Squige drops two drops into Mikeys mouth. Mikey smiles. From the crowd Lisa and Gary walk over to the keg and fill their cups. Gary joins the group first, while Lisa is filling her own cup.)
Gary: You dishing out acid, Squige?
Squige: Why? You looking for some?
Gary: Yeah.
Squige: Breath mint? (He hands it to Gary. Gary gives himself one drop, hands it back to Squige who drops two in his own mouth. Lisa joins them just as Squige is dropping his.)
Gary: You want a drop of breath mint, Lis?
Lisa: What kind of Breath mint?
Gary: I think it was peppermint.
Lisa: Legal peppermint?
Gary: Not at all.
Lisa: No thanks, I have to tend to the party tonight, as I am the hostess.
Squige: Don't you think you should be on the same level as your party?
Lisa: What's the point in that?
Squige: You would be prepared for more diverse situations.(Lisa thinks about it a moment.) Just one, mind you. A highlight to the evening, if you will.
Lisa: Well all right. (Squige drops one in her mouth.)
Squige: Oh shit! I think I just emptied the whole bottle out in your mouth.
Lisa: Did you really?
Squige: You are going to be so fucked up. (Frank also walks over to the group. He approaches Lisa.)
Frank: Hey, I'm supposed to pick up Tanya from work now, you want to join me for the ride?
Squige: I don't know if she should, man. She just swallowed a whole veil of acid.
Frank: No shit. That's fucked up.
Lisa: Don't let him fool you like he thinks he's fooled me. I know there was only one drop placed on my tongue.
Frank: So you want to come? (Lisa looks momentarily to Gary, who shrugs in response.) Or am I perhaps asking the wrong person? Gary may I have your permission to take the company of your fair damsel on a ride to pick up Tanya?
Gary: Yeah, sure. Go right ahead. (Frank bows with mock chivalry.)
Frank: Thank you, Gary.
Gary: Of course. (Frank leads Lisa away and they exit out the front door.)
Mikey: Did you bring any bud with you?
Squige: Of course I did.
Gary: If you will excuse me... (He leaves the group to sit beside Heather on the couch. The camera, however, stays with the group.)
Squige: I still have to roll it.
Mikey: Well what are you waiting for? Roll on.
Squige: Very well then. (Drains his cup and refills it at the keg. He then exits into the kitchen. Mikey and Vicky stand in silence for a while, watching Gary and Heather.)
Mikey: Look at my man Gary throw the moves on her.
Vicky: They are so not flirting.
Mikey: What ever, next thing you know her tongue will be all up in his mouth. (Gary leans over and says something into Heather's ear. She nods in reply and the two of them stand, walking over to the stairs. Mikey claps approvingly.)
Vicky: What... (Mikey shouts above the crowd.)
Mikey: Way to go Gary!! (Gary and Heather exit up the stairs, Mikey walks over to Mikey and Vicky.)
Tommy: What the hell just happened there?
Mikey: Looks like they're shacking it up.
Tommy: What about Lisa? (Mikey shrugs)
Mikey: She left.
Tommy: Man. I can't believe that shit. I thought more of Gary.
Vicky: Me too.
Mikey: But in the end, he is but a man.
Vicky: I'm sure there's a perfectly logical reason for all of this.
Mikey: Yeah, he's horny and his girl ain't around.
Tommy: Sounds logical to me.
Vicky: But Gary...?
Tommy: I didn't think Gary would stoop to a level so low as that, but.. As Mikey said, he is but a man, and being one myself, I understand those urges. It's the ability to control them that separates the men from the boys.
Vicky: I just can't believe he would do something like that...
Tommy: Well, what are you going to do? Live and learn. (Lights flash in the window, indicating the arrival of a new guest. Moments later, Steve enters. The lack of excitement at his arrival seems almost overwhelming. He walks up to the group.)
Steve: What's going on?
Mikey: You know, the usual... (Steve looks behind them)
Steve: Is that the keg? (Tommy looks behind them as well, then returns his gaze to Steve.)
Tommy: What? That cylindrical metallic thing on the table?
(Steve is very cold to Tommy.)
Steve: Yeah.
Tommy: That's what it appears to be.
Steve: Thanks for all your help. (Steve walks around the group to fill up a cup, while Vicky, and Mikey exchange glances of dismay and obvious discomfort at Steves presence. Steve rejoins the group.)
Steve: So where's Gary and Lisa?
Vicky: Lisa went with Frank to go pick up Tanya.
Mikey: And Gary is apparently fucking the shit out of Heather right now.
Steve: No shit? Where at?
Mikey: Up stairs somewhere.
Steve: Well, that gives him a few points in my book.
Vicky: In what? Your book of assholes?
Steve: What do you mean?
Vicky: What about Lisa?
Steve: I don't know... What about her? (Vicky rolls her eyes) She isn't here, right? (He shrugs.) Then there's no problem, really.
Vicky: You are such an asshole, Steve.(She walks away from the group to sit on the couch.)
Steve: You would be surprised by how often I hear that.
Mikey: I wouldn't. (Squige enters from the kitchen, dangling a very thick joint from between his lips.)
Tommy: Squige has returned! So kind of you to grace us with your presence.
Squige: Well, I do tend to retain my humbleness by occasionally mingling with you peons.
Tommy: How very thoughtful of you. (Steve nods his head in greeting to Squige.)
Squige: I see Stephen has arrived... So good to see you again.
Steve: And the same to you.
Squige: Have you managed to stir any trouble, yet?
Steve: Only minor tumults of anger and disgust so far, but it is still a work in progress.
Squige: Well keep me updated, will you?
Steve: I will.
Squige: Would anyone care to join me on an outdoors expedition? (All save Steve seem to jump at the opportunity.) Right this way, then. (Squige leads the group out of the house, only Steve remains in the room.)
Steve: Fucking people, man. They all get so fucking easily offended. (Drinks half the contents of his cup.) They get offended by mere words, and yet they force me to stand in the presence of that fucking coon. (Downs the remainder of his beer.) They put me beside a fucking nigger and expect me to be civil. It disgusts me to see them mingle with a race outside of their own. Though you can't really blame them for seeking alternatives to their own race, ignorant group of mother fuckers that they are. They alone condemn the future of our nation. (He throws his cup down in disgust, then refills his cup. He looks around at the living room.)
Steve: Shit. I'm not going to stand around here by myself, though in better company. I gotta take a shit as it is. (Drains his beer in a long series of gulps, then goes up the steps. The camera blurs out of focus.)