The Great Adventure of Aaron Appelapolous

"RAAAAAUUUGHHH!!!" You scream and charge straight towards the saber-slashing lunatic.
Right before the two of you meet in an embrace of death, Mr. Honkey stops in his tracks and holds one gargantuan arm in front of him. While the teacher holds your forehead and keeps you at bay, you attempt to swing a few punches in his direction, unfortunately only hitting air.

"Excellent!" Mr. Honkey roars gleefully, "The best defense is a good offense! Well done, my lad!" The teacher claps you one the back, sending you sprawling across the room and smacking into the far wall.

Paying you no notice, the teacher makes his way to the front of the class again. Students are warily watching the man and putting their desks back in the upright position.

"Fantastic!" Mr.Honkey seems to be terribly happy. He claps his hands together and rubs them in excitement. "Now, how many of you have ever handled an Atomic Crossbow?"

Everyone, including yourself, stares blankly.

"Well then, have I got a treat for you!" Honkey's grin broadens inconcievably. "Why don't you all come outside with me for the rest of the class, and I shall teach you how to use the greatest weapon ever concieved by man."