The Villain Manifesto

You've never actually thought to do anything like this before. Technically, you're not that much of a writer, but you feel this is something that should be addressed.

Sure, you've killed a guy or two in the passion of the moment, but what you didn't realize was how much you would come to enjoy it. Now, in Ensumaria at least, you're viewed as a murderer. Fortunately, you're in Vitomir now... which is where you are contemplating writing your Villain's Manifesto, as you want to title it.

Sure, you're still new at the game, as it were, but you think you've seen enough in your 20-some years on Mirth to know what to do and what not to do as a bad guy. "Someday," you romanticize, "some villain-to-be may read this and it will set them on the right track!" These are the words that you use to convince yourself to put quill to parchment.

That is, before the door to your room in the inn bursts open and you are faced with an Ensumarian cleric, pointing his sword in your direction.

"At last, I have found you, loathsome wretch!"

Should you: