Much of Nothing
You stand your ground while Dan trembles in fear in front of you, unable to move in his terror. Terri let's out a little gasp from behind, but she follows your lead and stands in place.
The bear stands suddenly on it's hind legs and lets out a feroceous growl. It growls again, but sees no reaction from you and falls back to all fours. It takes a few steps closer, sniffing the air in it's huge nostrils. You hear Dan whimper a little in front of you. "I don't want to die," He says in a shakey voice, barely above a whisper.
The bear sniffs at your freinds neck , you can hear him crying and see him trembling. You pray that he stays stil and thank God that his fear has him virtualy immoblized. The bear backs away a few steps. There is a sound like water pouring from a glass not far in front of you and you notice a puddle expanding at Dan's feet.
"Oh God," Dan says as the bear walks off into the woods, letting one mild mannored growl out as it departs. "I'm alive. Thank God, I'm alive."
"Wow," Terri says from behind you, "That bear scared the shit out of me."
"That's funny," You tell her, "Beause Dan was so scared he pissed himself."
Dan flashes you a look of utter hatred before continuing down the path in a fury of stomping feet.
"What's with him?" Terri asks. You shrug your shoulders in reply and start after him, the girl keeping pace behind you.
During the walk back through the wood Dan is surprisingly silent, keeping a pace just a little faster than you and Terri. You laugh at his unusual burst of energy, but Terri doesn't seem to pick up on it. You wonder if she noticed the puddle he left on the ground behind you.
After a long walk the three of you exit the woods and reach the paved parking lot. It doesn't take long to spot Terri's car and the three of you soon climb inside. Dan voluntarily takes the back seat, which is good, because you suck at calling shotgun.
Terris starts the car and backs out of the parking spot. "Oh man," She says; "It smells like piss in here," She promptly rolls down a window.
You try to control it, but find youself bursting into a fit of laughter. Dan shoots you a dirty look, but you find that you cannot control yourself. It is just too much.
Terri looks at you as she backs the car out of the spot. "What's so funny?" She asks.
"Nothing," You say, "I was just thinking about how crazy it was to run into a bear."
"Oh," She says, slipping the car ito gear; "I thought you were laughing about how Dan pissed his pants back there."
You can't take anymore. Tears come to your eyes as you laugh hystericaly. You can see Dan in the rear view mirror, all red faced and looking out the window while trying to pretend that he didn't hear what was said right in front of him. Somehow that makes it all funnier and you laugh the whole way home, despite the obviously low comfort level of your friend behind you. Terri laughs as well.
"Fuck you guys," Dan says from the back. "You didn't have a fucking bear sniffing at your fucking neck, did you?"
Neither of you answer his attempts to rationalize the situation. It seems to piss him off further.
Terri drives the two of you back to the parking lot not far from the park in the woods. You thank her for the ride and head home.
You still run into her now and then around town and say hi, but never really make any true bond beyond the time you shared on the park trail smoking weed and encountering a bear.
Dan doesn't speak to you for almost a month afterward, but eventually you are able to reestablish the bond you've shared. He is still bitter about your mockery of the pant pissing incident. But that doesn't stop you from mocking him for it.
The bear stands suddenly on it's hind legs and lets out a feroceous growl. It growls again, but sees no reaction from you and falls back to all fours. It takes a few steps closer, sniffing the air in it's huge nostrils. You hear Dan whimper a little in front of you. "I don't want to die," He says in a shakey voice, barely above a whisper.
The bear sniffs at your freinds neck , you can hear him crying and see him trembling. You pray that he stays stil and thank God that his fear has him virtualy immoblized. The bear backs away a few steps. There is a sound like water pouring from a glass not far in front of you and you notice a puddle expanding at Dan's feet.
"Oh God," Dan says as the bear walks off into the woods, letting one mild mannored growl out as it departs. "I'm alive. Thank God, I'm alive."
"Wow," Terri says from behind you, "That bear scared the shit out of me."
"That's funny," You tell her, "Beause Dan was so scared he pissed himself."
Dan flashes you a look of utter hatred before continuing down the path in a fury of stomping feet.
"What's with him?" Terri asks. You shrug your shoulders in reply and start after him, the girl keeping pace behind you.
During the walk back through the wood Dan is surprisingly silent, keeping a pace just a little faster than you and Terri. You laugh at his unusual burst of energy, but Terri doesn't seem to pick up on it. You wonder if she noticed the puddle he left on the ground behind you.
After a long walk the three of you exit the woods and reach the paved parking lot. It doesn't take long to spot Terri's car and the three of you soon climb inside. Dan voluntarily takes the back seat, which is good, because you suck at calling shotgun.
Terris starts the car and backs out of the parking spot. "Oh man," She says; "It smells like piss in here," She promptly rolls down a window.
You try to control it, but find youself bursting into a fit of laughter. Dan shoots you a dirty look, but you find that you cannot control yourself. It is just too much.
Terri looks at you as she backs the car out of the spot. "What's so funny?" She asks.
"Nothing," You say, "I was just thinking about how crazy it was to run into a bear."
"Oh," She says, slipping the car ito gear; "I thought you were laughing about how Dan pissed his pants back there."
You can't take anymore. Tears come to your eyes as you laugh hystericaly. You can see Dan in the rear view mirror, all red faced and looking out the window while trying to pretend that he didn't hear what was said right in front of him. Somehow that makes it all funnier and you laugh the whole way home, despite the obviously low comfort level of your friend behind you. Terri laughs as well.
"Fuck you guys," Dan says from the back. "You didn't have a fucking bear sniffing at your fucking neck, did you?"
Neither of you answer his attempts to rationalize the situation. It seems to piss him off further.
Terri drives the two of you back to the parking lot not far from the park in the woods. You thank her for the ride and head home.
You still run into her now and then around town and say hi, but never really make any true bond beyond the time you shared on the park trail smoking weed and encountering a bear.
Dan doesn't speak to you for almost a month afterward, but eventually you are able to reestablish the bond you've shared. He is still bitter about your mockery of the pant pissing incident. But that doesn't stop you from mocking him for it.
