Ducky Park
PIZZA
"I like pizza," You say.
"Good," he tells you. "The pizza stand is over by the kiddie park. Let them know you're the new guy and they'll get you trained."
"Okay," you say. Your uncle walks away and leaves you standing there. You stand like that for a few moments, processing the task before. Finally you decide that it would probably be best if you actually walk to the pizza stand and start working.
It isn't a long walk to your destination but you have to wade through a sea of screaming children to reach it. Once through the masses you reach the stand, a little building with a roof and a brick pizza oven. You walk into the shop from a side door and survey the scene.
There is only one customer, a middle aged woman who is waiting for her order. The young lady working at the register is probably a year or two younger than you. She is the vision of perfection, an angel in a duck hat. Her pouty lips are alluring and her blonde hair frames her gorgeous face like a circle of radiance. She smiles at you.
"Are you the new guy?" She asks.
"Yeah," you say. You hope you don't sound stupid. "My name is Ricky-"
"Holy shit, is that Ricky Retardo?!" You hear from behind her as you see the guy who’d been slicing boxing a pizza pie. He sets the box on the counter and the customer steps up to grab it. Then he turns his attention to you again.
One of your greatest fears is suddenly realized when your eyes meet his. You remember him. His name is Donny, and he was the absolute worst thing that could happen to you in high school. You can only imagine having to work with him will be equally devastating. He locked you in a janitors closet once and when the janitor opened the door for you Donny was there with a crowd of people to make jokes about you coming out of the closet. To make matters worse, when everyone was done laughing the janitor told you (probably louder than he had intended) "The door doesn't lock from the inside." Everyone laughed even harder. Plus one time Donny gave you a swirly in a toilet he had just shat in.
He is smiling broadly. "For fuck's sake it is you! Hot damn. I heard you just freeload off your dad, good to see you working!"
"Hi, Donny," You say to him, trying to hide your apprehension.
"Man, I can't believe you work here," He says, setting the pizza cutter down on the counter. “This is going to be so awesome, man. I can’t believe it’s you."
All thoughts you had vaguely entertained about enjoying your time working at the pizza stand suddenly shatter like tempered glass. Your world crashes down.
"I'm Sandra," The young lady tells you.
"Great," You reply glumly.
Donny sits on the counter facing you. "Man, I was such a dick to you in high school."
"Yeah you were," You say.
"I'm sorry, dude. I can't believe I was such an asshole back then. I was just trying to look cool in front of everyone and stuff, but I shouldn't have behaved like that."
"Okay," You say.
"What did you do?" the girl asks.
"I was terrible," Donny admits. "I locked him in lockers, gave him swirlies, beat the shit out of him almost daily, and we all called him Ricky Retardo.”
“You just called me that a minute ago,” You say.
“Yeah, I guess I did,” Donny chuckles. “Anyway, I'm sorry for how I treated you Ricky."
"Yeah, okay," you tell him. “Thanks.” The sooner this conversation is over the better. You can't help but feel that there is more to this, that his apology is just a setup for more cruelty, and you wait for the hammer to drop. But nothing happens. Donny and Sally show you how to load the pizzas into the oven, where at the premade crusts and ingredients are, and generally how to do the job. You serve a few more customers before things slow down.
“It’s always slow this time of day,” Sandra tells you.
Donny seems to take this as an invite to reminisce. "Remember back when you were chewing the gum you found under desks?" He asks.
"Oh yeah," you say with a nod. "The red gum and the green gum weren't too bad but the pink ones and the white always gross."
"Dude, that's all gross." Donny says with a chuckle.
"No it's not," You argue; "It's resourceful."
"No it's not," Sandra says. "That's really gross, Ricky."
"Whatever," You say.
The three of you sit in silence for a few seconds before Donny goes in on you again. "You remember the time I took your head and dunked it in the toilet right after I took a big nasty shit in it? Oh man, that was hilarious." He and Sandra begin laughing.
As they laugh at you, you realize that any hope you had of impressing Sandra has been completely destroyed. You can't take anymore, you lose control. They just keep laughing. Everything goes red and hazy, you grip the pizza cutter in your hand and grind your teeth.
Sandra’s laugh is constant and so complete that she is having trouble breathing. Tears roll from her eyes and she is doubled over in hysterics.
Donny recalls another incident. “I shoved him into the janitors closet on time and he was stuck in there for hours! It wasn’t even locked!” He says something else but you can’t make out the details over the sound of blood pounding in your ears.
You swipe at his neck with the circular blade, the pizza cutter opening a gash in his throat. Blood splashes in a trail along the wall. The bully from your high school days clutches futilely at his throat as crimson leaks from the wound and pours over fingers and stains his shirt beneath. Sandra isn’t laughing anymore. She is screaming and backing out the door. Customers gawk at you. Children are crying.
Security is on you before you know what is happening. They hold you down until police arrive. You are tried and convicted, your sentence lowered due to the instability of your mind. You sit in prison and stare blankly at the walls often. You think back on the glory of the moment when you were finally able to repay that fucking dickhead, Donny. He’d had it coming for a long time.
Sometimes, late at night when things are quiet and you feel alone, you wonder if it was all worth it. But then you remember the look of terror on Donny's face when he was dying on the floor. A sense of peace comes over you and you realize that it was worth it actually. Totally and completely worth it.
You never would have had the opportunity had it not been for Ducky Park.
"I like pizza," You say.
"Good," he tells you. "The pizza stand is over by the kiddie park. Let them know you're the new guy and they'll get you trained."
"Okay," you say. Your uncle walks away and leaves you standing there. You stand like that for a few moments, processing the task before. Finally you decide that it would probably be best if you actually walk to the pizza stand and start working.
It isn't a long walk to your destination but you have to wade through a sea of screaming children to reach it. Once through the masses you reach the stand, a little building with a roof and a brick pizza oven. You walk into the shop from a side door and survey the scene.
There is only one customer, a middle aged woman who is waiting for her order. The young lady working at the register is probably a year or two younger than you. She is the vision of perfection, an angel in a duck hat. Her pouty lips are alluring and her blonde hair frames her gorgeous face like a circle of radiance. She smiles at you.
"Are you the new guy?" She asks.
"Yeah," you say. You hope you don't sound stupid. "My name is Ricky-"
"Holy shit, is that Ricky Retardo?!" You hear from behind her as you see the guy who’d been slicing boxing a pizza pie. He sets the box on the counter and the customer steps up to grab it. Then he turns his attention to you again.
One of your greatest fears is suddenly realized when your eyes meet his. You remember him. His name is Donny, and he was the absolute worst thing that could happen to you in high school. You can only imagine having to work with him will be equally devastating. He locked you in a janitors closet once and when the janitor opened the door for you Donny was there with a crowd of people to make jokes about you coming out of the closet. To make matters worse, when everyone was done laughing the janitor told you (probably louder than he had intended) "The door doesn't lock from the inside." Everyone laughed even harder. Plus one time Donny gave you a swirly in a toilet he had just shat in.
He is smiling broadly. "For fuck's sake it is you! Hot damn. I heard you just freeload off your dad, good to see you working!"
"Hi, Donny," You say to him, trying to hide your apprehension.
"Man, I can't believe you work here," He says, setting the pizza cutter down on the counter. “This is going to be so awesome, man. I can’t believe it’s you."
All thoughts you had vaguely entertained about enjoying your time working at the pizza stand suddenly shatter like tempered glass. Your world crashes down.
"I'm Sandra," The young lady tells you.
"Great," You reply glumly.
Donny sits on the counter facing you. "Man, I was such a dick to you in high school."
"Yeah you were," You say.
"I'm sorry, dude. I can't believe I was such an asshole back then. I was just trying to look cool in front of everyone and stuff, but I shouldn't have behaved like that."
"Okay," You say.
"What did you do?" the girl asks.
"I was terrible," Donny admits. "I locked him in lockers, gave him swirlies, beat the shit out of him almost daily, and we all called him Ricky Retardo.”
“You just called me that a minute ago,” You say.
“Yeah, I guess I did,” Donny chuckles. “Anyway, I'm sorry for how I treated you Ricky."
"Yeah, okay," you tell him. “Thanks.” The sooner this conversation is over the better. You can't help but feel that there is more to this, that his apology is just a setup for more cruelty, and you wait for the hammer to drop. But nothing happens. Donny and Sally show you how to load the pizzas into the oven, where at the premade crusts and ingredients are, and generally how to do the job. You serve a few more customers before things slow down.
“It’s always slow this time of day,” Sandra tells you.
Donny seems to take this as an invite to reminisce. "Remember back when you were chewing the gum you found under desks?" He asks.
"Oh yeah," you say with a nod. "The red gum and the green gum weren't too bad but the pink ones and the white always gross."
"Dude, that's all gross." Donny says with a chuckle.
"No it's not," You argue; "It's resourceful."
"No it's not," Sandra says. "That's really gross, Ricky."
"Whatever," You say.
The three of you sit in silence for a few seconds before Donny goes in on you again. "You remember the time I took your head and dunked it in the toilet right after I took a big nasty shit in it? Oh man, that was hilarious." He and Sandra begin laughing.
As they laugh at you, you realize that any hope you had of impressing Sandra has been completely destroyed. You can't take anymore, you lose control. They just keep laughing. Everything goes red and hazy, you grip the pizza cutter in your hand and grind your teeth.
Sandra’s laugh is constant and so complete that she is having trouble breathing. Tears roll from her eyes and she is doubled over in hysterics.
Donny recalls another incident. “I shoved him into the janitors closet on time and he was stuck in there for hours! It wasn’t even locked!” He says something else but you can’t make out the details over the sound of blood pounding in your ears.
You swipe at his neck with the circular blade, the pizza cutter opening a gash in his throat. Blood splashes in a trail along the wall. The bully from your high school days clutches futilely at his throat as crimson leaks from the wound and pours over fingers and stains his shirt beneath. Sandra isn’t laughing anymore. She is screaming and backing out the door. Customers gawk at you. Children are crying.
Security is on you before you know what is happening. They hold you down until police arrive. You are tried and convicted, your sentence lowered due to the instability of your mind. You sit in prison and stare blankly at the walls often. You think back on the glory of the moment when you were finally able to repay that fucking dickhead, Donny. He’d had it coming for a long time.
Sometimes, late at night when things are quiet and you feel alone, you wonder if it was all worth it. But then you remember the look of terror on Donny's face when he was dying on the floor. A sense of peace comes over you and you realize that it was worth it actually. Totally and completely worth it.
You never would have had the opportunity had it not been for Ducky Park.
