CRACK ATTACK!
"Yes, that's it," you proclaim. "I will rob those dirty fucking Mexicans next door that are always blaring their horrible music and throwing empty tequila bottles against the walls!"
Easier said than done, however, my dear crackhead. There's like fifty of those greasy bastards living in the subhuman squalor of that one little apartment, so there's always someone home. "Hmmm, good point," you say. "Thank you, voice in my head. I wonder who else I could rob?"
Well, there's that abandoned apartment a few doors down that's infested with rats. Maybe you could find a way to exterminate them and then sell their pelts on the open market! Rat pelts are all the rage nowadays. All the hottest celebrities and coolest rich people wear luxurious rat-pelt jackets and hats, right? Right? RIGHT!? And you're sure there's a market for fresh rat-meat. Fresh rat-meat is a staple of most people's diets, and is quite tasty and succulent. Well, at least they are for you. And everyone must be like you. Right? RIGHT!? You feel very brilliant right now. But there's other options as well.
Your ears perk up. "Oh?" That's right. There's that elderly couple down the hall. They're so weak and feeble even you could probably scrap with them and come out none the worst for it. And they probably got all kind of goodies you could pawn. Well, there's the options, sport. Now get to choosin'. Them neighbors aren't going to rob themselves, you silly crack addict!
Easier said than done, however, my dear crackhead. There's like fifty of those greasy bastards living in the subhuman squalor of that one little apartment, so there's always someone home. "Hmmm, good point," you say. "Thank you, voice in my head. I wonder who else I could rob?"
Well, there's that abandoned apartment a few doors down that's infested with rats. Maybe you could find a way to exterminate them and then sell their pelts on the open market! Rat pelts are all the rage nowadays. All the hottest celebrities and coolest rich people wear luxurious rat-pelt jackets and hats, right? Right? RIGHT!? And you're sure there's a market for fresh rat-meat. Fresh rat-meat is a staple of most people's diets, and is quite tasty and succulent. Well, at least they are for you. And everyone must be like you. Right? RIGHT!? You feel very brilliant right now. But there's other options as well.
Your ears perk up. "Oh?" That's right. There's that elderly couple down the hall. They're so weak and feeble even you could probably scrap with them and come out none the worst for it. And they probably got all kind of goodies you could pawn. Well, there's the options, sport. Now get to choosin'. Them neighbors aren't going to rob themselves, you silly crack addict!