Ducky Park
While you are disappointed that you can't run one of the roller coasters, you have to admit that it is pretty cool to run one of the rides, even if it is only a choice between bumper cars and... the thing with the horses.
"I guess I'll do the thing where the horses go around in the circles," You tell him, doing your best not to sound too disappointed about the roller coaster thing.
"It's called a carousel, boy," He informs you.
"Right," you say; "The Carousel."
He nods approvingly. "That's where I started. Maybe you can work your way up through the ranks and be like me."
"I hope not," You say aloud, purely on accident. You immediately regret saying it and your face flushes red with embarrassment.
Thankfully Jake seems good humored; he laughs about it and slaps you on the shoulder. "You're a funny guy," He says, leaning in too close to say it, the liquor on his breath combined with the fumes from his poor overall hygiene nearly make you gag.
"Oh man," You say, "Could you not lean in so close when you're talking to me?!"
"Sorry about that," He says to you, with a good humored smile on his dirty face. "My breath ain't the freshest, I know it."
"Do you gargle with diarrhea or something?" you ask.
He laughs a little more and tells you how to get to the carousel. He tells you to send who ever is working there to him to be reassigned after he trains you for an hour or so.
You thank him and walk off in the direction he indicated. You're not sure why you're following his directions, you know exactly where the horse thingy is, but you figure that if he went through the trouble of pointing out a path for you to follow, you ought to follow it.
Your way would have been much quicker though.
You reach the thing with the horses that go around in circles and walk up to the guy operating the ride. He greets you warmly enough and you tell him what Jake told you to say. The guy practically hugs you, a huge smile spreads across his face and he thanks you over and over.
"I'm just so sick of this ride," He confides in you. "It's the same thing every time, around and around in slow circle after slow circle. I'm so glad you're replacing me."
You don't really know what to say to that, so you just kind of stare at him with a slack jaw.
The ride ends.
"OK, let me show you how you do this," He tells you. You follow him as he first walks over to the gate and opens it, then goes and helps some of the kids down from their horses. The kids all run to their parents who wait at the fence, and eventually the ride empties of all children.
He lights up a cigarette and stands there with you in silence.
"Now what," You ask after standing there for some time.
"Now we wait for a line to form and I can show you how to start the ride." He says, sighing deeply. "Man, I can't wait 'till I'm done training you on this. I really fucking hate this ride. I mean, it doesn't even draw a crowd. How many rides are there that you have to wait for a line to form before it runs?"
"I don't know," You tell him.
"None," He replies, "This is the only fucking ride like that in the park. Except for Little Ducks, the kiddie area."
You stand in silence for some time, uncomfortable with the absence of conversation, you decide to introduce yourself. "My name is Ricky by the way," You say to him, holding out a hand for him to shake.
"Chris," He says, shaking your hand briefly. "You know what else pisses me off about this thing? No babes."
"No babes?" You ask.
"That's right," He says, hitting his cigarette deeply before continuing; "There's no fucking babes. You know how many chicks ride the coasters? Tons. And the water rides? Man, the guys that run the water rides have it lucky. There's always a hot dingbat who decided to wear a white shirt with no bra underneath. Same kind who gets pissed if you look at them though, which is bullshit.
"But the only babes you'll get on this ride are moms. Foxy moms. They're all right to look at, but when it comes right down to it, they're moms. They have kids and probably have husbands or boyfriends lurking nearby.
"Other than hot moms, the only babe you'll see on this ride is this blond chick who gets on the carousel once a week. She's gorgeous, perfect body, great rack, hot ass, and the most beautiful pouty lips you'll ever see."
He hits his cigarette again.
"Then what's the problem?" You ask.
"She's fucking retarded," he says, letting the smoke out of his lungs slowly. "Seriously," he continues. "Mentally challenged. Not "slow learner" retarded or "acts like an idiot" retarded. Really, truly, genuinely retarded. She picks her nose and eats the boogers kind of shit. They dethawed cavemen with more extensive vocabularies. It's a shame, too. She's a hot number. And her big body builder brother is always around, so you can't even try to take advantage of her."
"Damn," You say awkwardly.
"Yeah," He replies, flicking his cigarette into the bushes behind the ride. "Looks like we got a line forming," he says.
You follow him to the entrance gate where two kids stand waiting. A third kid stands there with his mom, who urges him to get on the carousel.
"See what I mean?" Chris whispers to you.
"Yeah," You whisper back, "Any other ride and that kid would be begging to get on."
"No, I mean the moms," He says, "Look at the rack on her. Holy shit would I love to suck the milk from her jugs."
You look at him like he's crazy... Mostly because you think he's crazy. "You're crazy," You tell him.
"I know," He says. "But I'm on to better things soon, thanks to you. And my powers will grow stronger."
The mom finally convinces her child to ride and the kid walks with his head bowed in shame towards the carousel while his mom holds her camera out to take pictures.
"Do you need help getting on one of the big horsies?" Chris asks the kid.
"Shut up mister and start the ride," The kid says grumpily.
"We need four more kids before the ride can start, kid. Go pick your stupid horse so your mommy can take pictures of you on it." The kid ignores him or doesn't hear him, you're not sure which.
"Was that necessary?" You ask him.
"Hey Ricky, I don't go trying to tell you how to look stupid, so don't start trying to tell me how to treat the snot nosed little brats that get on my ride." He responds curtly.
"If no one else shows up after two or three minutes," He tells you, continuing with his lesson as though nothing just happened; "you yell that the carousel is about to start and that'll usually draw a few people."
"And if it doesn't?" You ask.
"If it doesn't you wait a couple more minutes and start it without them." He tells you.
"Ah," You reply, taking this information in.
Chris walks to the gate and cups his mouth with his hands. "Last call for the carousel!!" He hollers for all to hear.
Two more kids comes straggling in.
"All right," Chris says to you, "Let's start this ancient bitch up, yes?"
You follow him to the platform with the control switch on it and he shows you how to start the ride by moving a lever. He explains that it's on a timer, so you won't have to stop it, but in case of emergency he shows you the manual brake.
You notice a little knob beside the start lever and ask about it.
"Don't worry about that thing. It controls the speed. If you touch it, Jake will have your ass."
You help him start the ride twice before he parts company with you; wishing you luck. You wish him the same and wait for the kids to show up for the next ride. Somehow you imagined running a ride would be more exciting...
You go through the motions for a little over an hour, running the carousel four times for close to twenty kids. Chris was right, you decide, the carousel is a big pain in the ass.
At around five o'clock, however, a beautiful blonde catches your eye. She has a grin on her face that speaks volumes of happiness, and a body like the girls in the magazines your father keeps under his bed. She wears a plain dress and runs to the carousel with an overwhelming amount of excitement.
She runs up to the carousel and picks a horse, leaping up to straddle it. As she gets aback the horse, you cannot help but note the bareness of her ass beneath the dress. It doesn't appear that this foxy young temptress is wearing any panties at all. She looks up at you and smiles. You wonder if she caught you looking.
She makes only the second passenger on the carousel, so you know you have time to kill before more arrive and you have to start the ride. You want to go talk to her, but you're not really sure what you should say or if she'll even like you. You are a dipshit, after all.
Do you stand where you are and wait for more kids or go talk to her?
"I guess I'll do the thing where the horses go around in the circles," You tell him, doing your best not to sound too disappointed about the roller coaster thing.
"It's called a carousel, boy," He informs you.
"Right," you say; "The Carousel."
He nods approvingly. "That's where I started. Maybe you can work your way up through the ranks and be like me."
"I hope not," You say aloud, purely on accident. You immediately regret saying it and your face flushes red with embarrassment.
Thankfully Jake seems good humored; he laughs about it and slaps you on the shoulder. "You're a funny guy," He says, leaning in too close to say it, the liquor on his breath combined with the fumes from his poor overall hygiene nearly make you gag.
"Oh man," You say, "Could you not lean in so close when you're talking to me?!"
"Sorry about that," He says to you, with a good humored smile on his dirty face. "My breath ain't the freshest, I know it."
"Do you gargle with diarrhea or something?" you ask.
He laughs a little more and tells you how to get to the carousel. He tells you to send who ever is working there to him to be reassigned after he trains you for an hour or so.
You thank him and walk off in the direction he indicated. You're not sure why you're following his directions, you know exactly where the horse thingy is, but you figure that if he went through the trouble of pointing out a path for you to follow, you ought to follow it.
Your way would have been much quicker though.
You reach the thing with the horses that go around in circles and walk up to the guy operating the ride. He greets you warmly enough and you tell him what Jake told you to say. The guy practically hugs you, a huge smile spreads across his face and he thanks you over and over.
"I'm just so sick of this ride," He confides in you. "It's the same thing every time, around and around in slow circle after slow circle. I'm so glad you're replacing me."
You don't really know what to say to that, so you just kind of stare at him with a slack jaw.
The ride ends.
"OK, let me show you how you do this," He tells you. You follow him as he first walks over to the gate and opens it, then goes and helps some of the kids down from their horses. The kids all run to their parents who wait at the fence, and eventually the ride empties of all children.
He lights up a cigarette and stands there with you in silence.
"Now what," You ask after standing there for some time.
"Now we wait for a line to form and I can show you how to start the ride." He says, sighing deeply. "Man, I can't wait 'till I'm done training you on this. I really fucking hate this ride. I mean, it doesn't even draw a crowd. How many rides are there that you have to wait for a line to form before it runs?"
"I don't know," You tell him.
"None," He replies, "This is the only fucking ride like that in the park. Except for Little Ducks, the kiddie area."
You stand in silence for some time, uncomfortable with the absence of conversation, you decide to introduce yourself. "My name is Ricky by the way," You say to him, holding out a hand for him to shake.
"Chris," He says, shaking your hand briefly. "You know what else pisses me off about this thing? No babes."
"No babes?" You ask.
"That's right," He says, hitting his cigarette deeply before continuing; "There's no fucking babes. You know how many chicks ride the coasters? Tons. And the water rides? Man, the guys that run the water rides have it lucky. There's always a hot dingbat who decided to wear a white shirt with no bra underneath. Same kind who gets pissed if you look at them though, which is bullshit.
"But the only babes you'll get on this ride are moms. Foxy moms. They're all right to look at, but when it comes right down to it, they're moms. They have kids and probably have husbands or boyfriends lurking nearby.
"Other than hot moms, the only babe you'll see on this ride is this blond chick who gets on the carousel once a week. She's gorgeous, perfect body, great rack, hot ass, and the most beautiful pouty lips you'll ever see."
He hits his cigarette again.
"Then what's the problem?" You ask.
"She's fucking retarded," he says, letting the smoke out of his lungs slowly. "Seriously," he continues. "Mentally challenged. Not "slow learner" retarded or "acts like an idiot" retarded. Really, truly, genuinely retarded. She picks her nose and eats the boogers kind of shit. They dethawed cavemen with more extensive vocabularies. It's a shame, too. She's a hot number. And her big body builder brother is always around, so you can't even try to take advantage of her."
"Damn," You say awkwardly.
"Yeah," He replies, flicking his cigarette into the bushes behind the ride. "Looks like we got a line forming," he says.
You follow him to the entrance gate where two kids stand waiting. A third kid stands there with his mom, who urges him to get on the carousel.
"See what I mean?" Chris whispers to you.
"Yeah," You whisper back, "Any other ride and that kid would be begging to get on."
"No, I mean the moms," He says, "Look at the rack on her. Holy shit would I love to suck the milk from her jugs."
You look at him like he's crazy... Mostly because you think he's crazy. "You're crazy," You tell him.
"I know," He says. "But I'm on to better things soon, thanks to you. And my powers will grow stronger."
The mom finally convinces her child to ride and the kid walks with his head bowed in shame towards the carousel while his mom holds her camera out to take pictures.
"Do you need help getting on one of the big horsies?" Chris asks the kid.
"Shut up mister and start the ride," The kid says grumpily.
"We need four more kids before the ride can start, kid. Go pick your stupid horse so your mommy can take pictures of you on it." The kid ignores him or doesn't hear him, you're not sure which.
"Was that necessary?" You ask him.
"Hey Ricky, I don't go trying to tell you how to look stupid, so don't start trying to tell me how to treat the snot nosed little brats that get on my ride." He responds curtly.
"If no one else shows up after two or three minutes," He tells you, continuing with his lesson as though nothing just happened; "you yell that the carousel is about to start and that'll usually draw a few people."
"And if it doesn't?" You ask.
"If it doesn't you wait a couple more minutes and start it without them." He tells you.
"Ah," You reply, taking this information in.
Chris walks to the gate and cups his mouth with his hands. "Last call for the carousel!!" He hollers for all to hear.
Two more kids comes straggling in.
"All right," Chris says to you, "Let's start this ancient bitch up, yes?"
You follow him to the platform with the control switch on it and he shows you how to start the ride by moving a lever. He explains that it's on a timer, so you won't have to stop it, but in case of emergency he shows you the manual brake.
You notice a little knob beside the start lever and ask about it.
"Don't worry about that thing. It controls the speed. If you touch it, Jake will have your ass."
You help him start the ride twice before he parts company with you; wishing you luck. You wish him the same and wait for the kids to show up for the next ride. Somehow you imagined running a ride would be more exciting...
You go through the motions for a little over an hour, running the carousel four times for close to twenty kids. Chris was right, you decide, the carousel is a big pain in the ass.
At around five o'clock, however, a beautiful blonde catches your eye. She has a grin on her face that speaks volumes of happiness, and a body like the girls in the magazines your father keeps under his bed. She wears a plain dress and runs to the carousel with an overwhelming amount of excitement.
She runs up to the carousel and picks a horse, leaping up to straddle it. As she gets aback the horse, you cannot help but note the bareness of her ass beneath the dress. It doesn't appear that this foxy young temptress is wearing any panties at all. She looks up at you and smiles. You wonder if she caught you looking.
She makes only the second passenger on the carousel, so you know you have time to kill before more arrive and you have to start the ride. You want to go talk to her, but you're not really sure what you should say or if she'll even like you. You are a dipshit, after all.
Do you stand where you are and wait for more kids or go talk to her?