TRASH
"Aw come on Joe, what about that time I helped throw out those angry road workers?"
"You were the fucker that got 'em mad in the first place!"
"Okay how about that time I kept your wife from finding out that you were cheating on her with another woman?"
"You dipshit, you fucking gave me away by telling your girlfriend Tina who then later told my fucking wife!"
"Hey now that wasn't my fault, your mistress tried to steal Tina's act at the strip club. The bitch had it coming."
"Mel, you're not exactly convincing me here as to why I should allow you to sponge beer from me."
Desperate times come for desperate measures, and your not afraid to go that extra step.
"Alright how about I NOT expose that particular bit of information about you, and you KNOW what I'm talking about Joe."
The rest of the bar patrons suddenly stop and listen more intently. Joe looks at you with more intensity.
"Shit Mel, that's not fuckin' fair! You can't hold that over me forever!"
"I can and I will! Now line 'em up Joe! One Bourbon, one Scotch, one beer! Ha ha!"
Joe grudgingly starts pouring you drinks; you can feel the hatred though.
You spend the rest of the night whooping it up with the rest of the drunks, eventually you get into a stupid argument with one of the barflies.
"An (hic!) I'm tellin' you! That (hic!) General fuckin' Lee was my goddamn (hic!) great great great (hic!)Â….greatÂ….(hic!) grandfather!" you say proudly.
"You're fulla sh (hic!) fulla shit Mel! He probably was a fuckin' Yankee! Har har har har!"
"You better (hic!) fuckin' take that fuckin' (hic!) back!" you warn.
"Oh okay there Mel! (hic!) Wouldn't want you to (hic!) get all General Sherman on us! (hic!) ha ha ha!"
There's NO WAY you can let that insult pass! You immediately punch the bastard out, and he goes down like a two dollar whore on Friday night. While you stand over your opponent and laughing at the fact that he's lying in an unconscious heap, Joe has had enough of you.
"Alright Mel, you've worn out your fuckin' welcome here, go the fuck home!"
"You were the fucker that got 'em mad in the first place!"
"Okay how about that time I kept your wife from finding out that you were cheating on her with another woman?"
"You dipshit, you fucking gave me away by telling your girlfriend Tina who then later told my fucking wife!"
"Hey now that wasn't my fault, your mistress tried to steal Tina's act at the strip club. The bitch had it coming."
"Mel, you're not exactly convincing me here as to why I should allow you to sponge beer from me."
Desperate times come for desperate measures, and your not afraid to go that extra step.
"Alright how about I NOT expose that particular bit of information about you, and you KNOW what I'm talking about Joe."
The rest of the bar patrons suddenly stop and listen more intently. Joe looks at you with more intensity.
"Shit Mel, that's not fuckin' fair! You can't hold that over me forever!"
"I can and I will! Now line 'em up Joe! One Bourbon, one Scotch, one beer! Ha ha!"
Joe grudgingly starts pouring you drinks; you can feel the hatred though.
You spend the rest of the night whooping it up with the rest of the drunks, eventually you get into a stupid argument with one of the barflies.
"An (hic!) I'm tellin' you! That (hic!) General fuckin' Lee was my goddamn (hic!) great great great (hic!)Â….greatÂ….(hic!) grandfather!" you say proudly.
"You're fulla sh (hic!) fulla shit Mel! He probably was a fuckin' Yankee! Har har har har!"
"You better (hic!) fuckin' take that fuckin' (hic!) back!" you warn.
"Oh okay there Mel! (hic!) Wouldn't want you to (hic!) get all General Sherman on us! (hic!) ha ha ha!"
There's NO WAY you can let that insult pass! You immediately punch the bastard out, and he goes down like a two dollar whore on Friday night. While you stand over your opponent and laughing at the fact that he's lying in an unconscious heap, Joe has had enough of you.
"Alright Mel, you've worn out your fuckin' welcome here, go the fuck home!"